Submissive or Slave?

Submissive or Slave?

MeekMarionette​(sub female){Not collar} • May 11, 2020

Generally speaking, how do you guys feel about the slave dynamic either as a sub or dom?

I ask because Sir has brought this up to me. I believe slave-hood for a submissive in a D/s relationship is something that happens naturally, organically, and over time. I odo not believe this is something that can be immediately words towards upon entering a new relationship, but I could be wrong. I am still very new to actively being a sub in a relationship. I believe after longevity in the relationship, and once trust is no longer a factor but a natural given, and there are no more limits between dom and sub, thats is when i believe and can see a sub coming into a natural slave persona, so-to-speak.

What do you guys think?

Or is it one or the other, sub or slave, right off the back?

skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat} • May 12, 2020

Hi Meek,

Good question!

It's certainly something that can be negotiated or discussed early in a D/s relationship as a *GOAL* not as something to just jump into, *unless* both the D and the s are experienced, and have known each other for a while -- i.e. where as you say there is already a natural level of trust.

It's certainly useful to discuss expectations of where the relationship will be going and to take active steps to get there, developing trust along the way. Simple slave rituals can be invoked immediately, because they cause no harm. For example addressing the Dom as "master", kneeling when in his presence, etc. Things that are *easy* to extend trust. These exercises enable trust to form bit by bit.

In time a TPE relationship will just happen "organically", but you have to start *somewhere*.

So, TL;DR. Yes, you can work towards this immediately in a new D/s relationship. Provided you go *slowly* and communicate often and honestly.

Remember: A "slave" is just a sub on a more deeper, more intimate level. Or, in other words, it's just a deeper level of trust and submission.

Hope that helps
--Rich

House Talion​(dom male) • May 12, 2020

Either way, it's done naturally. Anything other than that done in any way unnaturally is wrong by nature as its inevitably forced one way or another. You may very well be a slave, but you must be allowed to find that through your own experienced

Abyssful​(sub female) • May 12, 2020

As a slave, I find it is something you really have to find the right fit for it to work. It should be done slowly to those unfamiliar. I do think it can be something to jump into if there are frequent check-ins, negotiation days to make sure the dynamic is working for the pleasure of everyone involved. It isn't as meaningful and deep as something built through time but it will get there.

heartbrokengirl​(sub female) • May 17, 2020

I think it has to happen naturally. Communication about what he wants and what you want out of it are very important too. I don't think it is something that is like a switch and can be flipped on - maybe for some who know whole heartedly that its what they want or desire this can be done but for most people I think it is more of a progression.
Some people myself included don't desire a slave relationship. I have tried with TPE and I found that it is not 100% for me - Could have been partly that I didn't fit right with the Dom though lol
I think that if it is some thing you are willing to try or work towards that you discuss step that make a progression in to being a slave.

MasterBear​(other butch) • May 18, 2020

We all change and grow over time.
Sometimes we grow into roles, sometimes we grow out of them.

And sometimes we know right off the bat.


My beloved was always slave identified.
I grew into my Mastery.

For me its about allowing fluidity and change.

LordofPain56 • May 19, 2020

In principle, I'm opposed to slavery. God created us all with free will for a reason...so that we could choose to accept Him as our ruler and savior, or ignore Him. It makes it easier for Him to judge us on the last day. But if we are enslaved, this choice is often forbidden and it makes it harder for God to judge us.
In the world of S & M, I still can't go along with slavery (at least I would never impose it upon anyone), and there has never been a need for me to do so. I have always done all the work myself without any human hands to help. In fact, I always thought it might be harder to have someone who wanted to contribute, since I am a creature of habit, and might tend to languish letting go of some responsibilities.
That does not mean that a girl who considered herself a slave might not be happy with me. After all, there may be enough self-improvement exercises, study and lessons in my bag of tricks to satisfy her slave mentality, that she might not ever become dissatisfied that she was not actively contributing in mundane domestic chores or even financially. My rule-book says that if she has gainful employment, that her earnings are hers to keep and do with as she pleases (but she must consult me before attempting to make a large purchase), and she must be responsible for paying taxes on her earnings, as we had always filed separately (that's in my rule-book also). Yes, I am such a meany

BDSM DOM​(dom male) • May 19, 2020

On the matter of slavery, it is nothing to be taken lightly. It is something that needs to be worked into. My best advice is before you even consider becoming one, be prepared for a vast world of changes. It needs to be carefully thought out. This is a role or position that can take months or years to grow into. So be sure your heart is all the way into it. This is a very serious matter which takes time to determine.

Bunnie • May 19, 2020

I have come to learn that when it comes to words, it’s really just semantics. The best thing is for you both to determine what those words mean for you.

I’m of the mind that yes... we can all potentially become slaves... but not everyone wants to give up that amount of control, and not everyone wants that amount of responsibility.
I personally define it like this...

A submissive will become the best version of themselves for their Dominant.
A slave will become whatever their Master wants.

I define it this way to allow for the areas that many wouldn’t necessarily venture into. Things like being told to maintain a certain weight, or shave your head, or being told to speak in third person or branding. There are many, many levels, and some things are well beyond the comfort levels of many people. And that’s ok.
This is just some of the things that I personally associate with M/s.

Hence the importance of establishing what your Sir/Master determines as M/s... because ultimately for you... it’s only his version that matters. And if you’re meeting his levels of requirement for what he considers a slave, then you’re his slave

*of course, I’m speaking within the context of a happy, consensual dynamic.

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • May 19, 2020

It depends on a number of factors in my view.

Yes trust and deeply knowing each other daily over years deepens the trust so the person giving up control can start as submitting and eventually surrender to be a slave and Property but it does depend on the original intent at the beginning of the relationship and where the long term relationship goals have been defined as going to.

Both need to wish it and work towards that for that internal surrender to occur long term.


Mistress Whipplash Ma'am
Owner of E. P