Contradicting Desires?

Contradicting Desires?

Global Goddess​(sadist female) • Jul 11, 2020

Is it common for male subs to enjoy being submissive but act like they don't? I don't even mean a brat, but I think the fun would be in "forcing" a guy to be submissive against his will (obviously consensually, but just seemingly against his will). On the other hand, I find the idea of having a straight up slave boy who only speaks when spoken to and is VERY submissive and worshiping to be desirable too. Anyone here have these two types of dynamics with the same partner? or maybe I should I be looking for two different guys? lol. I'm just trying to make sense out of what I want so that I can be clear with my future partners. I'm especially interested in hearing from more experienced Dommes if anyone wants to chime in. Thanks!

Tessallia​(sub male) • Jul 11, 2020

I like the idea of a struggle for dominance and ultimately being forced into submission. At the same time I think I'd really like just being submissive. It's not something I've been able to experiment with though so I'm not very sure about any of this. I think it's probably like most things in these types of relationships. You sorta work out what you want by talking to the other person and you try it out and talk about how it's going. Especially if either one of you isn't pleased with the relationship. An open honest dialogue is essential in starting and maintaining the relationship.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jul 11, 2020

I’m a gay bottom with sub, but was married to a woman for years, so I have that mixed perspective.
i shut down with force or bullying, but respond like a magnet to ‘grooming’, which typically has a negative connotation associated with predators, but I know it can be affectionate and consensual, and very mind fucky.
As far as the duality you describe, I think it may derive from males being conditioned to act one way, where with some that conditioning may go against their nature. E.g., I was conditioned to be straight and I’m gay, so there are dual feelings. That can be accessed and influenced.

compme • Jul 11, 2020

Yes, I like the submission to be forced. I like a domme who will restrain me and force me to do what she wants.