About the amount of messages that you recieve

About the amount of messages that you recieve

Ruchi​(sub female) • Jul 21, 2020

I'm curious to know how other submissives and dominants who get approached a lot handle the amount of messages? I'm trying to reply to all messages as personally and punctually, but sometimes I'm overwhelmed and have to stop. Any advice is appreciated!

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jul 21, 2020

i'm a gay sub. Call me cynical, but i suspect if you removed the some of the pics from your profile, you'd weed out quite a few. Unless that is how and why you like to attract someone, in which case, never mind.

i really am being serious. When i first joined The Cage, i got some great input from some serious and caring people on this site. One of the things they recommended was taking the sexually explicit pics off my profile. It really reduced the number of HNG's.

Not that i think there is anything wrong with sexy pics, this is a kink site after all, but there are some who never even read a profile, they just respond to pictures. Personally, i don't want to attract people who are not interested in what i have to say, so guys have to read and respond to what i write before i'll share certain kinds of pics.

Good luck!!

Carpophorus • Jul 21, 2020

On that same note; Please for the love of God and all that is good and just in our world, don't be another one with all of pinterest plastered on your profile.
You can give substance and insight without sexualization just as easily as you can without losing anonymity or privacy. They say a picture is worth a thousand words; get painting.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jul 21, 2020

A lot of ppl put stuff on their profiles specifically to the point that if you obviously dont read the profile before messaging then you dont get a reply

IowaDom​(dom male) • Jul 22, 2020

The pictures, while breathtaking and beautiful, are likely the cause of your inbox issue ... that is true. But they are amazing....

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jul 22, 2020

Good evening.

Your profile is fine. Put up the pictures you desire to give an image of you - realizing some individuals will glance at them and flood your inbox. Also you are young in comparison to many, so taking your age into consideration, some of the more "narcissistic" members may see you as someone they can easily take advantage of. I would say you don't need to respond to all the deluge of messages. Glance at the message, glance at the message sender's profiles (and read any blogs they may have - gives you more of an idea of who they truly are), and if you think they strike a common cord with you, respond. If not, don't. You are not being ill-mannered to ignore an unrequested contact.

All the best.
LL

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } • Jul 22, 2020

I haven’t read your profile in depth but the short answer is being young, female, sub and new to the site seems to open the flood gates. Like LL said read the message, look at the profile because chances are you’re just being mass spammed. I would respond to only the people who pique your interest!

Virginie​(sub female){lcpw} • Jul 22, 2020

Do what you like- until/ unless you’re uncomfortable. Show what you like, write what you like, but know the likely outcomes.
I no longer look at my messages every day. I scroll through from time to time and, if I want to answer, I do. If someone leaves a message or 25 and there are red flags I don’t respond. Sometimes I have to block. The people who are meant to get through to you always do somehow. Make whatever choice you want. You can be an exhibitionist and still have no interest in engaging with those who message you because of your pics.
If it is really bothering you- ask yourself why, and if this isn’t the forum for showing certain things( for you) because of the stress the reactions cause, and you find you can’t disregard them - change something.

dirmn​(dom male) • Jul 22, 2020

Unless you feel fulfillment from being polite and respectful to everyone in your inbox (and only you get to decide whether anyone has earned that from you), only reply to the messages that stimulate you. Delete the rest.

Sabinaurea​(sub female) • Jul 23, 2020

I agree with what some other people are posting - don't feel like you have to respond to everyone. I know I have a tendency to feel guilty if I don't say something meaningful back to everyone, but then I know some people copy and paste the same opening line into 10 different subs inboxes at once. They won't care if I don't respond. I try to keep up conversations that seem more promising, where the individuals actually read my whole profile and don't ask for things I've said I won't do. In the end this site should be a positive space for you, not a stressful one.