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how to talk to someone?

vcmlesb​(masochist female)
3 years ago • Sep 22, 2020

how to talk to someone?

vcmlesb​(masochist female) • Sep 22, 2020
like, so you could be friends and learn from them? or how do you even know you're talking and learning from the right person, since i've been made aware that there are some bad and abusive people out there who are not that good to talk to or learn from? i've never learned how to approach people in any aspect, and even when i see some pretty nice looking people in here i just get really anxious and have no idea of how to engage or start a conversation with them. and plus, how do you even talk to them when you yourself have no idea of what you want to learn from them and their experiences or from where to begin?
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}
3 years ago • Sep 22, 2020
If you after "learning" learn to question the source.
Is the person in a relationship?
Have they ever had a BDSM relationship?
Are they talking from fantasy or fact? Does it matter to you? (not saying those with no face to face experience have nothing to offer)
Does the person have alternative motive? if so what could it be?
Does the person benefit from YOU knowing the wrong answer? .
Does the person appear to be a part of the community (online and practice, some don't do both) Have you heard the information repeated more than once else where, as they say Google is your friend!. More sources are better than one. Ask in other areas like forums like this. Learn what the red flags are to BDSM (if you don't know them maybe post a question, asking for some. the search bar is also great here, I do believe there a topic on them already)

Conversation with the right person will flow. Of course your going to have a few nerves starting out but you still should feel you can be YOU!
the idea is as a sub you become a better version of YOU....You're still the same person, so might as well begin that way. Its no use hiding who you are to appeal to another because eventually your going to have to let a Domme get all the way in. Trust me it doesn't take long for Domme to see right through you. Just be the best version of YOU.

As whiteknight said ...trust your gut. Look at this post, you communicated without effort and got two replies in less than hour! Your on the right track! You got this!

A good practice is to leave questions open so it promotes conversation. Why not try just try messaging that you enjoyed someones post or their profile. Maybe you could talk about how it made you feel. I just read your profile and I noticed you have a cat. I have a cat too. Its a perfect way to start a conversation. "Hi hdalesbian, I just read your post/blog/profile and loved it. It resonated with me because ...text goes here....I also noticed you have a cat. I have one too..my cat does this annoying thing when I sit to type she ...text goes here...Does your do that? of course I just made that up on the spot but it doesn't need to life altering words. Some times simple works and in your case you have advantage, just remember to give the reader something to reply about!
I mentioned you have an advantage... Your 19, single and a female lesbian sub....You are a unicorn! You can work that your advantage!
Test the water, then jump in, you'll get better at swimming. To test the waters ask yourself the above and always, always use caution. Look for redflags. Never stop looking.
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