The life of a brat

The life of a brat

shortylotus​(dom female){Valuedom} • Oct 4, 2020

I am strong willed and mischievous by nature. I have been my whole life. I have never been known to be rude or disrespectful, however I will give keep you on your toes. I am always upfront about being a brat No use hiding it....you will figure it out in the first 10 mins of our conversation , I understand I can't be everyone's cup of tea...

This is the definition of a brat .

Brat is a term for the BDSM role of a submissive or bottom who maintains a defiant, misbehaving demeanor toward their dominant through words and actions. A brat will talk back, act out and be obstinate to achieve the goal of being disciplined by their top—and then achieve gratification by eventually acquiescing to their dominant’s desires.

So why is it with all this clarification upfront, some doms become frustrated and even belligerent....telling me i am not a real submissive, and i should switch?

Don't these fine gents understand that brats need love also?



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kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Oct 4, 2020

You answered your own question basically, when you said that you understand why you aren't everyone's cup of tea.

Their frustration is that they aren't looking for this type of dynamic.
Perhaps to them, this is fatiguing in the sense of push me, pull you. It's a constant game they don't wish to play 24/7.

We all have different definitions of what humor is.

Fun for you , might very well translate as irritating to others.

You might have a healthy dose of " little " in you as well. <- Give some thought to this possibility.

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} • Oct 4, 2020

I am considered by some to be a brat....though I don't consider myself to be one. I am defiant and independent. However, I do not become defiant to get punished. If I want a spanking I just ask for it - I don't need to act out to do that.

I will say that early in my time on the Cage I was also told (unsolicited advice) that I wasn't a submissive by a Dom and by a switch. I can say I am a submissive, no doubt about it.

My thought is that I have my own viewpoint about a variety of subjects and I want to be heard. If I have to be defiant, or raise an eyebrow or roll my eyes to do that then I will. I am independent because I have had to be in my own life. We are, after all, talking about our future and this is not a game.

slavebilly​(sub male) • Oct 4, 2020

Well, I think we all understand there are a variety of dynamics in BDSM. I think you just have to find someone that is looking for the dynamic that you bring.

truckstopjunkie • Oct 4, 2020

I love Brats, I tried a relationship with a Brat, I still love her and I still care about her and I still worry about her. I knew the definition, didn't understand until recently, due to the help from SBD how a true Brat becomes a Brat, if I had known then what I know now, then I may not have met so much resistance from her. I like to help and enrich, but that damn resistance to everything I just cant take. That is what not only frustrated me but it also aggravates me. If there had been a balance of resistance and willingness, then I could have done my duty to her a lot better. It's hard for me to punish all the time. I also like to reward. The resistance is what frustrated me the most.

Re: The life of a brat

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Oct 4, 2020

I know I would be irritable as hell you act the fool I will bust your ass and send you on your way, I got no time for games and constant belligerents its not fun or amusing. Its school girl mentality and I for one wouldnt stand for it if it were me.

truckstopjunkie • Oct 4, 2020

@ redfoxmask
I've felt the same way and I understand where you are coming from. I've handled a situation in that manner, but to the side of the Brat, true Brats are maintainable it just takes time and understanding. Not all are true Brats I agree, but the ones that are, I truly admire. But that's because I know why they are. And some want that treatment to so maybe that will happen for you.

shortylotus​(dom female){Valuedom} • Oct 4, 2020

That's fair enough, but you know this about yourself and wouldn't put yourself in that situation with me. My point is I make this very clear in the beginning, if a person chooses to continue then they do so at there own risk.

truckstopjunkie • Oct 4, 2020

So does the Brat, that makes it fair only if the Brat understands that they are at risk too. Just because you make it clear doesn't make for understanding. I was very clear about me in my relationship, still it didnt matter because they didnt understand. I didnt either, so being clear in the begging by stating what you are and defining what a Brat is, doesnt make anyone understand. Explaining why does. I think most Brats are at risk because I saw it as topping from the bottom and just very disrespectful. Brats aren't just Brats because they think the title is cute. So being clear on what you call yourself is not helping someone understand why. WHY? WHY? WHY? LOL

truckstopjunkie • Oct 4, 2020

My Brat was a true Brat, I failed at stopping at the definition and not researching the reason why. I take full responsibility for being that failure to her. However even trying to reconcile as friends I cant control myself because of the frustration. I put in my profile that i do not want a brat, but that hurt myself in my heart because i still love a Brat. I'm probably a bigger Brat than all the Brats and that's probably why i have a difficult time with a Brat. That's why resistance frustrates me so much.