Collars

Collars

submissivelex​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2020

Hi! My master wants to get me my first collar. He wants to get me a play collar and a day time collar. I was wondering what the best collars are and where to get them. I would also like to know if you think it’s the dons job or the subs job to pick the collars because he told me to pick one but I think it should be more of my masters job. Thoughts?

Jack Straw • Nov 9, 2020

Your Master,

Should be responsible for picking out your collar especially the one you earned during your training sessions.

After he had trained you the act of him presenting the collar should be his honor knowing that you are now his.

Part of your final Acceptance as him as your Dom and the symbol that you have given all your trust to him.

JS

Alpha Wolfe • Nov 9, 2020

Opinions vary. What you think is the best, someone else may say is the worst. What someone else says is the best, you may say is worst. What is best, is what you like. Style, colour, material, size, type. You gotta choose what you love.

As for who should pick. I personally think both, as the dynamic involves both people. If anything, maybe the dom picks they play collar, and you pick the daytime one. That way he loves what he sees during sessions, and you live what you see in your day to day life. Just my two cents.

SuperEight​(sub female) • Nov 9, 2020

Both my Dom and I picked out my day collar as he knows I'm pretty picky about the jewelry I wear. Of course I would wear any collar He gave me, He wanted me to enjoy its aesthetic as well. In addition, it's something I can wear even around my family without outing myself.
It may also be your Dom's worry that you may not enjoy the collar if He picks a style that you're not a fan of, it's worth a conversation with Him for sure.
As for where to get a collar? I got my day collar from Restrained Grace. Would highly recommend their products and the customer service was excellent.
My play collar is a plain chain and padlock from the hardware store lol. This one He chose as we don't have the concern of anyone else seeing it

Schatzi​(switch female){Yes} • Nov 9, 2020

I think it should be a joint decision in that the submissive should be able to state his/her preferences and choices so that Dom knows what their submissive likes and prefers. However, I believe the final choice should rest with the Dom as they are the ones presenting it as earned and it will represent their collar. That is just my personal perspective. If your Dom says choose, then you do so.

Bunnie • Nov 9, 2020

In all honesty, our opinions of who it should be that picks it, doesn’t matter. He has told you he wants you to pick it... so get to picking! Lol.
And congratulations on your collar

If you have a peek in the blog section, there was a blog recently that had a few links to sites that had BDSM jewellery and collars. Etsy is usually a pretty popular place to find unique styles too. Even just googling “BDSM collars” will probably bring up quite a few results.

Here are a few I’ve come across from others over the years...

https://www.thecagedflower.com/

https://www.restrainedgrace.com/

https://www.eternitycollars.com/

Good luck with your search, I hope you find something you love.

Zhivago • Nov 9, 2020

I haven't seen one on any of the big websites, but I bought one back in 1988 that's lined with shearling world that's extremely soft and could be worn long-term.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 9, 2020

Have him pick it out and buy it. Unless you're in the mirror you'll never see it.

I am decidedly un-owned. But I still wear a plain black choker when out and about for things other than work.

Though chokers are common "fashion accessories", the width of my choker combines with certain clothing I wear tend to convey the message I want to put out. (uhh, as in "send")

Shame on you for what you're thinking!

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Nov 10, 2020

I had input in regards to my collar, in terms of general style/design/etc, since after all I am the one who wears it 24/7. After getting my opinions as to what I do/don’t like etc, he made the final decision. I would have worn whatever he picked, but I am glad he allowed me to “steer” it a bit.