Not sure how to find the dom I'm looking for

Not sure how to find the dom I'm looking for

sweetheartbutabrat​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2020

So, idk how to even word this, but it's the internet so here goes:

I'm a 25 year old virgin. I haven't even been kissed for three years. At first, I thiught it was me, that I was ugly or had an awful personality. But, I don't think it's that ). I think it's because in my life I take care of every single person I know. I take care of my disabled parents. I take care of my trainwreck little sister. I take care of my baby sister and have basically raised her. I take care of my aunt even though she told me God hates me because I'm bisexual the other day.

I've realized I want someone else to take control. I want someone else to tell me what to do and take care of me and make me feel special. I give everyone 100% of my love and support and energy and I want to get that back. But I also want the discipline. I want to be controlled I want to be punished when I'm bad. I want to be told what to do during the day. I want someone to stick a remote controlled vibrator in me and turn it on whenever they want. I want to finally cum for the first time because I can't do it. I want to spend hours with a cock in my mouth while my dom does whatever they want. I want to have my pussy filled with a cock or two and my ass filled with another and my mouth filled with another. I want someone to just take control away from me so I can finally just have one aspect of my life be free. Also writing this turned me on so much oh my God what the hell.

Anyway, i want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whoever to dom me and make me feel special forever. But I don't even know where to start.

PermanentMaster • Nov 12, 2020

What an amazing character you have!

masterofsluts • Nov 12, 2020

u have to find one near you or connect with

sandrakanda​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2020

My advice is be careful. You feel lust and hunger for your desires to be fulfilled but don't forget you want the connection as well.
You have insecurities and that's okay. I lost my virginity at 22 and was afraid of intimate, deeper relationships as well. Don't get me wrong, exposing your desires is a great thing, but it can attract the wrong people if you put it as your priority.
Getting laid would make you feel special and connected especially at first, but for short time. when that special moment passes it might feel lonely than ever.
(Excuse me for gramma mistakes, but I hope you get the point).

FloraDragon​(dom male){Roaming Wi} • Nov 12, 2020

Hi, honesty is so important, keep your options open. Do not jump into bed (a phrase), with the first person who you feel you have an attraction with - build a relationship first, take your time that in the process will make that first connection so important.
My partner and I met here and allowed nature to take its course, to the point it felt natural - it is easy to seek out that physical fulfilment, but that is simply a quick fix with the risks. Take your time to build relationships build on trust, consideration, truth and respect, they will be stronger in the long term. Talk to other submissives or with permission well grounded Doms/Dommes, to explore and self reflect.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Nov 12, 2020

You need to calm down and take a very deep breath. What you are experiencing is sub frenzy and could wind up in a very dangerous situation. Desperation is blood in the water to the group of sharks that we have here on the Cage. You want a Dom, not a predator.

Get away from the myriad of horny net guys who are filling your inbox an take a walk to clear your head. Then, sit down and make a list of all the qualities that your ideal partner has. You’re looking for them and their support, not an escape from your life. Next, instantly reject anyone who doesn’t check off your realistic boxes.

Lastly, educate yourself on BDSM. Read all the books and websites that you can get your hands on. Go to Fetlife or search on the internet for local events in your area. Start taking education classes and learning what’s healthy in our world. Knowledge is both power and safety. Plus, being part of your local community is a great way to vet someone when you don’t know how to vet.

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Nov 12, 2020

Also, excuse the typos that resulted from my not having coffee before typing.

silvia​(switch female) • Nov 12, 2020

Yo, I’m 28 and still a virgin. Ain’t afraid to announce it either. I haven’t even had a boyfriend due to being a weirdo and I can tell when ones want to make fun of me and do stuff on a dare. So my trust with people are low, they have to gain my trust in order for anything.

I am also very independent and have a dom personality, but right now the thought of having someone taking care of me is like a dream. Someone to help me get through to life and help make decisions. That my sub side takes over a lot.

If need someone to rant to, I’m more than open to listen. I am also new to this world and have been figuring out who I am. And going through the same boat a bit. I also agreed with what Kara said as well.

sweetheartbutabrat​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2020

You all are SO HELPFUL!! Also, I'm going to do exactly what Kara said, thanks everyone!

Liliac​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2020

Hi there. I was in the exact same situation as you a year ago and all I want to say is not to rush into situations. I was desperate before I met my Dom cause the desire to be controlled was so much I just basically went on a rampage with just any guy claiming to be a Dom. It was all online of course but that doesn't mean when the reality wasn't what I expected, it hurt less. I was licking my wounds when my Dom came around and I was very wary. It's always easier said than done to find a Dom who deserves all your trust and to give up all your control but once the right one comes along, they don't rush you into anything. They respect your boundaries. They "listen". So all I could suggest at the moment is try to list out your boundaries at first. Being submissive doesn't mean we are doormats so once a Dom approaches you, just lay it all out. If they say something along the lines like.."You have many boundaries. You are not a true submissive", RUN. Cause if someone wants to make it work, they will always take a careful approach. Never ever give someone your trust fully unless you "know" they deserve it. Also, educate yourself. I read so many books, asked so many people, listened to so many stories..yet, when the reality comes knocking on the door, I feel unprepared. So research is always a good idea. You will maybe meet someone who gives you the rush you needed but just keep in mind, sometimes, lust takes over logic and then when the fall comes, it just makes you a jaded person. We don't want that. All in all, good luck in your search. I wish you all the best!