tallslenderguy(other male)
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4 years ago •
Jan 17, 2021
4 years ago •
Jan 17, 2021
Define "love."
i do not know if it is possible? i have examined and worked at it for most of my life, and have a working definition, but it is incomplete. And that, for me, points to another often ignored element of relationship: "compatibility." i actually think that what often passes as 'love' is really the thrill of symbiosis that results when two opposites (naturally) attract and their individual needs/desires nurture each other (and those who have read other of my posts know i am big on compatibility when it comes to intimate relationship, especially D/s).
"Love," to me, is a different proposition. i do think love has it's mysterious side, but i also think it has a very practical side. my working definition of 'love' is: the purposeful and ongoing act of listening and looking to/at another with the intent to see/hear them as they are, and the subsequent affirmation of their value. lol, i know, sounds really clinical, but it's a hell of a 'practice' and takes a lot of energy.
i personally do not think one can have a healthy, sustainable, intimate relationship without both compatibility and love. No set/group of people is 100% compatible, and we fuck up all the time, so i think the purposeful practice of love helps fill in the gaps, adds grace to a relationship. i believe that without a large, ongoing dose, of both intimate relationship devolves into a loveless, quid-pro-quo dynamic, both tortured (not the good kind S/m folk) and torturous.
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