ADHD and sexuality

ADHD and sexuality

Badgirlblues​(dom male) • Mar 27, 2021

If you have ADHD or know someone that has it, have you found any trends in terms of 'novelty' and sexuality and/or vivid sexual fantasiesd? I read a book by a psychiatrist that specializes in treating people with ADHD, and who also has ADHD himself, and he stated he found that to be the case among the people he treats.

Bunnie • Mar 27, 2021

Can you please elaborate further on what you mean?
And I’m also curious, what’s the name of the book please?

GiyuuSimp​(switch female) • Mar 28, 2021

I'd like to know the book as well. Thank you!

SaintMartyn​(sub gender fluid) • Mar 28, 2021

Well... I have ADHD... ( Borderline pathological adult attention deficit disorder ). Sex and ADHD is complex. Your mind wanders, takes over. One position, or type of sex will stimulate you once, maybe twice but after that you'll drift into fantasy land in your head. Your body is there, often your mind isn't. But, also, Sex is addictive ... It kicks off mad levels of dopamine (which ADHD people lack / crave). I've been addicted to both sex and porn (the latter, Im not the greatest fan of).
This how I got here. Partly to get off Porn, partly to deal with recovering from chronic pain (I had CRPS for 6ish years... Look it up on the NHS website).
I've been using a "Virtual Master" app and have been documenting my use of it here on my blog. It'll give you a good idea as to my headspace, I'm being very honest.
I don't mention my ADHD on the Blog (or haven't mentioned it yet) but, yes, ADHD and Sex is complicated.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Mar 28, 2021

I'd also love to know the name of the book?

Book information

Badgirlblues​(dom male) • May 11, 2021

Sorry for the delay. The subject matter is mentioned very briefly. The author is Dr. Ed Hallowell, who is a psychiatrist with ADHD and specializes in treating people with ADHD. The book is 'Driven to Distraction.' He's written about three or four books on the subject. He based his perspective about ADHD and sexual fantasy on interactions with his clients. Given that he has seen and treated about 20 people a week with adhd for 30 years, I think he has enough experience to make general observations. It makes sense to me given that people with ADHD often seek dopamine boosts, which can often take the form of intense and/or 'novel' behaviors (at least that's the theory).

WhatamIfightingfor​(dom male){CurvyB} • May 11, 2021

It makes communication ever more important and difficult in my experience.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 11, 2021

Thanks for the name of the book. I'll be adding that one to my reading list for sure (Mother of an ADHD adult off spring).
I don't think personally that ADHD is a factor to those seeking out BDSM but it (ADHD) could be a factor into how open you are to "other" alternative ways to find stimulation and more so a factor as to cause of "latch" or "imprint" to a part or component within BDSM practice.

I know and have worked with several people with ADHD and ADD. I'm no means an expert on ADHD but in my experience not all are BDSM practitioners (or have presented that way)...well no more than those red hair and freckles or those from abusive upbringings or over 5 foot. In fact there is NOT one documented "cause" for those seeking BDSM (other than fetishism in truest form)

At present one "cause" (for those that need a reason)is that a tiny parasite called toxoplasma, which can be transmitted to humans through cat feces, which pet owners are abundantly exposed to through litter boxes. (It can also be transmitted via infected raw meat, tainted drinking water, or eating fruits or vegetables exposed to infected water.) is the cause! The study was published in the July-September 2016 issue of the journal Evolutionary Psychology for those that do wish to read the findings.

According to Jaroslav Flegr, PhD, parasitologist and evolutionary biologist at Charles University in Prague, and Radim Kuba, a researcher at Charles University, toxoplasma raises brain levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter known to enable communication between neurons and fuel cravings. The researchers speculate that this parasite, like others, is capable of changing behavior. Their assumption was based on the fact that mice and rats infected with it switch from being afraid of the smell of cats to being drawn to the aroma.

The researchers speculated that people who are infected with the parasite might be similarly affected.

In the study, the researchers looked at 36,564 people, some of whom were infected with toxoplasma, and some of whom were not. They found that infected subjects were, indeed, more likely to be aroused “by their own fear, danger, and sexual submission” than noninfected subjects.

The researchers stress that while “toxoplasma infection explains only a small part of the variability in BDSM-associated traits,” it does shine a light on how exquisitely sensitive and complex a web of factors go into forming a person’s sexual behaviors, desires, and preferences....I tend to agree with the later! we are complex.

starlite​(sub female) • May 11, 2021

I have ADHD. Haven’t read the book (yet) but I do know Dr. Hallowell is very highly respected.

I was diagnosed as an adult and the significant role ADHD plays in my sexuality, as a submissive, was immediately clear. Things like:

1. High sensitivity to chemicals...including dopamine, adrenaline. I fall into a submissive headspace quickly and stay there (caveat: does not apply if I do not feel submissive to the other person)
2. Quite often...a need for that headspace to be in my body and fully enjoy sex. I can enjoy sex without it, but find it much harder to be in the moment.
3. Perfectionism/people pleasing — finding it liberating and blissful to know the rules and expectations and how to meet them
4. Various aspects of D/s in relation to executive function and external accountability and validation
5. Probably most related to this post...a high need for mental stimulation and novelty. In my case this takes the form of 1) a big imagination, creating (and sometimes writing down) 2) very elaborate fantasies, sometimes more extreme than I’d want outside of my head, and 3) when I’m with a partner - a need for versatility across multiple “s” roles. I am not really into casual play or porn for reasons also related to ADHD.

Everyone is different - just sharing how things seem to come together for me.

One other thing that comes to mind is that many people with ADHD just feel “different” from other people in this very profound way...even prior to diagnosis. Purely brainstorming here...but I wonder if that feeling can help make it feel less threatening to explore certain fantasies, etc.

adhd

Badgirlblues​(dom male) • May 12, 2021

Hi ; < )

I read your post; I didn't mean to imply that adhd was a major factor in certain bdsm lifetyles or that most people with adhd engage in the lifestyle. I was onluy asking whether it seemed to make sense that there could be a connection at times. I've studied adhd for a long time and have done research in other mind/body areas: the parasite theory sounds ridiculous to me. But that's just me. Biopsychosocial research that claims to discover cause and effect outcomes is notoriously suspect even if the researchers think it's the greatest discovery since gravity. I try to combine my intuition based on common sense, studying the field, learning about the researchers, and personal experience as someone with adhd to decide what sounds like it may be true. I like Dr. Russell Barkley's research on the subject--many of his lectures are on youtube, although I think he is at the point of retiring soon. I also love what Dr. Gabor Mate has to say about all sorts of body/mind connections including adhd. He also has lectures on youtube as well as being an author. ; < )