HEAVEN'S STARCHILD(switch female)
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
I need clarification please
In my poly group on fb, I saw a heated debate about unicorns and unicorn hunting. I'm new to the terminology, and I was having a hard time understanding the different aspects of it (well that's what I gathered) . Now I'm wondering, was I ever considered an unicorn and didn't realize it? Thank you everyone who comments. ((HUGS))
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Online now
OG Cupcake{4everAlone}
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
ive heard the term unicorn referred to as a single individual who is attracted to both sexes and poly.
NOT sure if thatβs the usual reference or not. 
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Miki
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
If one goes by the Google urban-dictionary (to other than the mythical animal itself) it describes a woman in a poly relationship who doesn't mind sleeping with a couple or couples without expectation of emotional attachments. Zero. Zip. Absence of Strings, and that works both ways, meaning if any of your partners starts to become attracted to you romantically: No Deal.
The term seems to have come to light in the 2010s. The unicorn reference implies one is hard to find and harder to catch. That's what I pulled up from there. ----------------------------------------------- Only others around you know if they considered you a "unicorn". I suppose if you're the sort who will have sex with zero strings you might be considered one by any number of others with whom you've been physical, but I wouldn't make assumptions as to what others think. Truth be told, this is the first I heard of it, but then again I am not in any Facebook (or any other) groups of that nature, so of course I wouldn't have heard of it. Hope this helps, but I doubt it-- I found the obvious reference. I didn't invest a lot of time on this, so if you're really curious, you can dig around. |
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HEAVEN'S STARCHILD(switch female)
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
@miki ty for your input. The debate got heated due to some saying It's unethical to "unicorn hunting how it's a form of abuse.
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OG Cupcake{4everAlone}
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
i like Mikiβs response!!!
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HEAVEN'S STARCHILD(switch female)
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
@OG That was my take on it at first, then the morality of it came about and I'm like aww shit lol
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Miki
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
As I said, I didn't sink a lot of time into looking this shit up, probably because I disdain labels myself, and I don't spend much time researching any of them.
However in the quick read, I spotted no morality reference. Only that they get the "unicorn" label because again, "hard to find/harder to catch"-- One might add that there are those who doubt the existence of women (as referenced in the write-up) who would play around with totally no strings attached is a mythical creature at most. Hence the Unicorn label. In my experience, anyway, because pre-COVID I screwed around without strings often, I'd often run into married men who get the itch and want a woman to slake his sexual thirst and simply go away... Those dudes have tough luck with that unless the gal in question has a face he would prefer to scrape off his shoe, because invariably such fellas are over a barrel once they dip into the hot tub of extramarital bliss, especially if he makes a comfy living. ... and then there are the poor saps who get careless with the baby batter. Bad scene there, folks. ------------ But I digress. Again, I could be wrong, but the "definition" of unicorn in the urban dictionary is what I paraphrased above and I saw no reference to morality. |
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OraclePollon(sub female){NotYours}
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
The Unicorn in poly is just that. It is that "special" and rare female, but no reason it couldnt be a male, who enters into an already established relationship (components don't matter MM, MF, FF) as a third who can allow the couple to play without jealousy because there are no emotions involved or long term possibility.
If it ever got to far, the entire purpose of the unicorn is to dissapear. To not threaten the primary relationship. Which in itself is a point of security for both partners. If one gets jealous, or one catches emotions, the unicorns leaves to "save" the relationship. Now, in practicality, it rarely works like this fantasy. I personally think it is just a preliminary way to get couples to feel mentally and emotionally comfortable to play or swing or whatever they choose, because they go in with the stipulation, that if something goes wrong, they won't lose their partner, or will still be primary or can call the whole thing off without feeling the lesser. - This is purely my opinion on it. The unicorn is never supposed to be a perceived threat, like a pet or slave or poly addition could be for an already solid or functioning dynamic. (Even if that dynamic is already 3 or more). If this unicorn turns into someone both agree can stick around, that is when the relationship morphs into a Triad or a Vee... I (opinion) think this is what happens a lot of times... but the "dream" is that it is never supposed to. But reality ensues and poly is a hard dynamic to master. I have no idea how this could turn into abuse... if you are told they are looking for a Unicorn, and you say - yes that is Me. Then you know the contract and know you leave if things don't work out. That to me is very forward and if you get hurt, then you were not fully truthful about being a Unicorn. If you "Fall in love" with the man (as a female - this is probably the most common scenario - and what most people are truly scared of when the agree to be open or bring in a third) then you are not a Unicorn. If a Unicorn catches feelings, she(he/they) also leave. Very transactional. You take the hurt and you leave, you don't try to come between them, or you never were a Unicorn. |
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MrFulmen
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
You could say that a unicorn simply means a bi woman open to dating a couple.
But there's a lot more connotation loaded behind the word. A unicorn is the "hot bi babe" that so many het couples are looking for to fulfill their threesome fantasies. She's conventionally attractive, but non-threatening to the female partner. She's DTF in the ways they want to play, and also perfectly happy with their list of sex acts that the couple reserves for one another. She's passionately sexual with them, and delighted to be exclusive with them and only have sex when they're in the mood for a threesome (certainly she never suggests bringing any other penis into the equation). She's into them and makes time for them and invests in the dynamic of their dreams, and she's ready to disappear in an instant the moment they hit a relationship rough patch or just switch to a different fantasy. She's fully available to join their life, and doesn't inconvenience them with the non-sexy aspects of her own life. That's why you see so much eye rolling about unicorn hunting. It isn't because a het couple dating a woman is inherently bad. Itβs because of how often that dynamic comes loaded with a shit ton of unexamined sexism and couple privilege. The story of "unicorn hunting," as opposed to just having an open relationship, is about couples convinced that they have a fantastic deal to offer a "female third," and stubbornly refusing to see the ways that they are privileging their own relationship and treating the other woman as a prop in their fantasies--then wondering why women who want that are rare. |
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HEAVEN'S STARCHILD(switch female)
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2 years ago •
May 23, 2021
@MrFulmen that makes perfect sense, I just couldn't understand the abuse aspect of it. If all parties agree where's the abuse? Could it be from getting feelings and leaving even though it's agreed upon to leave under those circumstances.
Ty ty ty for your response. These responses have helped me understand the unicorn aspect. ((HUGS)) to you all |
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