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scottcentralnj​(sub male)
2 years ago • Jun 3, 2021

Next Level

scottcentralnj​(sub male) • Jun 3, 2021
I am in a LTR with a woman, we are very open and honest with each other. In the last couple years we started exploring a dom/sub relationship. I want it to go as far as she can take it, I know I can handle it and want to be taken to my limits. I have expressed this to her as well. It is not her first time either, she has experience in this area but has been very cautious. I understand taking it slow but I know I’m ready for more. I don’t want to do anything she’s uncomfortable with and so I am looking for advice.

Do I push for more extreems? Is there something I can do to assure her I am ready, or do I just be patient and let her get there on her own speed?
SageFlame​(sub female)
2 years ago • Jun 3, 2021
SageFlame​(sub female) • Jun 3, 2021
Always communicate your needs, interests or that feeling of readiness. I too have felt that urge and hesitation about wanting more but desiring to tred lightly out of respect.

If you haven't completed a bdsm checklist perhaps it is time to do so. If you have, it would be beneficial to add detail to the areas you would like to explore more.

Checklists are great but don't cover all areas. Structure for instance is not on a checklist.

As a sub, I give lots of feedback. A lot! When sharing desires it would be helpful to say something like this.

" A feeling has been stirring that I'd like to share"

" I really like when_______ "

" When would be a good time to give feedback on _______?"

Something along these lines.

Avoid:
" Why don't you do _____"
" How come you don't _____"

Using the *you* word often put people on the defensive hindering progress in communication. It just a general rule for me in all relationships.

I hope this helps a bit.

The more common location the better!
Sasa​(dom female)
2 years ago • Jun 3, 2021
Sasa​(dom female) • Jun 3, 2021
I know pretty very well that subs are able to put pressure on younger dommes to a level that they leave completely. Invite your beautiful woman to join the forum and let her express herself. If I understand it correctly she is the one who hesitates for a reason... and don't forget: it is up to her what is happening or not happening.
L a r s​(dom male)
2 years ago • Jun 3, 2021
L a r s​(dom male) • Jun 3, 2021
Keep in mind that doms have limits too. I hope that's not discouraging to hear, but she may not be ok going as far as you are. Hopefully for both of you, it's just a matter of time. Be patient, and good luck