Men, what you need to know.

Men, what you need to know.

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} • Sep 30, 2021

So I want to kinda lay out some things in the hope of helping others not go through this.
And I'm not saying everyone is guilty, if the shoe fits and all that.
Wanting your girl to be healthy is awesome. Encouraging your girl to make changes to achieve that goal is great if she is willing and ABLE.
I had to have an emergency c-section. Not emergency as in ok time to do this, emergency as in get the baby out in less then 5 minutes or we will lose them both. There was no finesse, no moving things that shouldn't be cut, it was rip me open and pull baby out and deal with the damage afterward. We were both alive, that was all that mattered. It took me years to recover my core strength, years to understand there was no fixing the damage done. And then years to accept and love who I was always going to be. A very healthy strong woman with a major stomach.
Guys, or Girls, when someone tells you they cannot physically change even though they want to. BELIEVE THEM! Don't harp, don't offer quick fixes, and stop making them feel less then because they can't.
My issue is weight.
What is yours?

parsumlit{UnderConsi} • Sep 30, 2021

I haven’t left the childish “why” phase. I ask way too many questions and if someone expects them to stop or just doesn’t answer them (as many do), then they might as well leave.

I’m not asking to be nosy, to make small talk or to be annoying. I’m asking because I wouldn’t understand and further be able to communicate otherwise.

I already beat myself up for being so inquisitive. I don’t need others to as well.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Oct 1, 2021

Gaiawolf​(sub female){Protected} - "My issue is weight."

..... No sweetie. Your issue (for want of a better term) is that some people measure a person's worth in accordance with their dress size. If who you are right now is the best you can be today, then you are at your best. The "why" doesn't matter. This is you... a product of many different phases of life that have molded you. Some of the most damaged people bury themselves in muscle and workouts. We all have a story. Be proud of yourself and wait for the one who sees what is amazing inside of you. Settle for nothing less.

parsumlit{UnderConsi} - "I already beat myself up for being so inquisitive. I don’t need others to as well."

.... the greatest enemy of a weak mind is a strong one. Don't beat yourself up just because some people are dependent on a small brain and you have a big one. If they can't handle that your brightness shines in their eyes, let them go stand somewhere else. You drink up the world in all its amazing aspects. Check out Ted.com. Don't be afraid to find answers elsewhere.

H*

RogueWolf​(dom male){Gaiawolf} • Oct 1, 2021

@op as I've said to you previously, I want you to be healthy, to aid in losing the weight you want at a pace you are comfortable with. This is why I shared the app that lets you count calories. It doesn't tell you what to eat just the amount of calories you can consume and lose weight or as I used it to maintain it. I know some can use it to gain weight too. It's the great point of it, no silly diets that don't work. A simple this is what you should be eating to achieve your goal. I check in with you to see how you're doing and how things are with you. A "we good?" thing to help you stay on track with this and other things you do. Nice and simple.

For me what I struggle with is feeling that I can be loved for me.

WhatamIfightingfor​(dom male){CurvyB} • Oct 1, 2021

Yes, ,there are some things that are just impossible, to use a slightly different example, but related to the OP "one is not going to grow their arm back for you". Some things are just impossible, they an be acknowledged, accepted and worked around, but never resolved.

Morgein • Oct 1, 2021

Skin

Almost all of the women in my family start gaining weight about two years after childbirth. Obesity becomes a constant struggle. Activity, diet...... it doesn't seem to matter, but now, it's later in my life (maybe different hormones?) and I have lost well over 100 pounds. Wonderful, right? Yes, thank you, and I'm very pleased, but......

There's too much skin.

It expanded just fine, but it doesn't retract as easily, so there's extra, especially in the stomach area where I have scarring from a classical (vertical) cesarean and abdominal surgery for cancer treatment. I will never be taught and lean again, so now, in spite of the fact that I have lost this weight, I'm left with a body in which I'm still not comfortable, still not proud.

What men/women need to know & focus on.

derickwolf​(sub male){None } • Oct 1, 2021

So for me I saw this when I wad little and I believe men/women should know when someone is going through a tough time, you just need to take some time to take in whats going on with the people around you whether it be your family relative, or your significant other, orin this case the submissive and the same thing applies to the submissive's.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Oct 1, 2021

You know I've written this and deleted it a few times now. I don't really care to be the Governor of what others think, but there are some comments here that are really bugging me.

RogueWolf - all diets work for someone. So please don't dis the diets and there is a huge amount more to weight loss and sustainability than calories. Some of the best research minds in the world cannot agree on all the factors. It took me six years to be physically recovered enough for anything to work. After laughing my ass off at the high pricing of the new Weight Watchers I stumbled upon Noom. Which is a flat rate app that addresses all the aspects of weight issues, especially the mindset of it, and debunks a lot of misinformation. It works for me but I don't push it on others.

If you aren't in that person's skin I suggest you not try to manage what is a very personal issue for all. It's a little too rescuer-ish. Or worse, akin to the smoker who quits and bullies those who haven't. Nobody likes that guy E.v.e.r
....
WhatamIfightingfor​ - "Yes, there are some things that are just impossible, to use a slightly different example, but related to the OP "one is not going to grow their arm back for you". Some things are just impossible, they can be acknowledged, accepted, and worked around, but never resolved.

--Even in what seems like unchangeable circumstances, there are threads of good. Unless you are married to the negativity which I find useless. You could lose an arm in a shark attack and that can't be changed, however, you might discover other amazing things about yourself. I've spoken with 100's of cancer patients in my 20-year journey with an incurable form of it. Many felt it was -in its own way- a gift. And found new blessings in their lives.

They, and I, could have sat back and just given up to the impossibility of it all. But when you do that you lose immediately.
....

I've been loved dearly and completely when heavier than I am now and thinner than I am now. Do I have skin? Yes.

Will the right person see past it? Of course, he will. Just as I will see past his flaws.

And we all have flaws.

No Body​(dom male) • Oct 1, 2021

There is no quick fix when it come to the human body. You take you time and do it right or not at all. The biggest problem I have ever had was getting a sub to know that I did not start caring for her because of her looks iy was everything about her. Weight can be taken off and put on but a smile that warms your heart a look that sets your soul on fire or a voice that makes you knees weak is something you may never find again. Then there is that kiss that you have to fight not to lose yourself in. You can't work on that.

Lilyanna​(sub female) • Oct 2, 2021

My issue is confidence. I don't have any. Plus add low self esteem. Even though I receive compliments it is difficult for me to believe them. A lot of the time I tend to think people say complimentary things to be nice. For the most part in regards to my looks. But I always feel I can do better in most everything. That I am not doing enough.

The negative is easier to believe. It seems to be the loudest voice in my head. Logic doesn't seem to drown it out completely. It likes to lurk on the edges whispering doubts.