Can we stop equating Brats to

Can we stop equating Brats to

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} • Oct 3, 2021

Can we stop equating Brats to Bitches? I love to be a brat. I love to stand up look you in the eye, giggle and say make me. I love to shake my head no and step back when you say come here. I love to ask why should I when you tell me to do something.
I would never said make me with anger or real malice. I would never say f you and walk away when you say come here. I would never say why should I with absolutely no intention of listening or complying.
We need to start calling those people what they are. They are not Brats, they are not subs. They are defiant bitches who are out for nothing and no one but themselves and when they don't get their way or what they want they get mean and cruel.
A true brat is playful, out to lighten the mood and have fun. She would never want her behavior to actually sadden her Dom, she wants her behavior to bring out sides of him he may not get to use in normal day to day.

MsMason​(switch female) • Oct 3, 2021

I would like to add that for me being a brat equates to being spirited.

FearlessBrat​(sub female){H.PL.} • Oct 3, 2021

To their Doms

Brat is never a Bitch
&
Bitch is never a Brat.

We can get fearless and overprotective of our Doms or Love ones/ Friends. That might come across as a Bitch to some.

When it comes to dealing with Instas or fakes, well that's diffrent story...

Sasa​(dom female) • Oct 3, 2021

Wow, can we also stop being a snowflake and upset in case some dominant don't like bratty girls or boys? Always the same discussion. Enjoy what you enjoy with the people who like it and please accept others don't want it. What they call you doesn't matter. You don't care anyway.

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} • Oct 3, 2021

My post has nothing to do with what other people do or do not like. My post was about the way the term has become twisted. I'm sure if everyone who said they were a sadist was suddenly labeled an abuser it would cause the same conflict.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 3, 2021

Love it... The "too sensitive" craze has resulted in something equally ridiculous, people who call those who express a non-conforming opinion about inappropriate words and generalizations are now automatically "snowflakes". So now if one doesn't want to be another's door mat they're a snowflake?

Hmm..

Above all else, this is starting to smack of politics, and there is no room for that garbage in here.

-------------------------------------------------------

As for brats being bitches.. Those who think the words are interchangeable--- don't have a clue what they are talking about.

Not all 'bitches" are "brats" and not all brats are bitches, just like not all dominants are self-important tools, and all subs are not spineless dumb-bells... In both cases, some are, some aren't.


There simply is not a paintbrush wide enough to broad-stroke aspects of human dynamics.

RogueWolf​(dom male){Gaiawolf} • Oct 4, 2021

Words.. so simple. Frigid aka you won't sleep with me, bitch aka you won't do what I'm asking. It's a matter of perspective. You are not entitled to them doing what it is you want them to do. It just simply takes the right person to make them a different person. Someone they actually want to respond to, someone who they wish to respect because *shock* they get treated with respect.

I know.. what a bizarre thought.. respecting people.. who wants to do weird stuff like that? ps sarcasm a plenty.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Oct 4, 2021

Gaiawolf​(sub female){Protected}
17 hours ago • 10/03/2021 3:50 pm - "My post has nothing to do with what other people do or do not like. My post was about the way the term has become twisted. I'm sure if everyone who said they were a sadist was suddenly labeled an abuser it would cause the same conflict."
...
Of course, it has to do with what others think about that term. What else is your reference for the complaint?

What you describe as brat behavior with your partner is entirely your business.

It is also a game. If you were 24/7 with someone saying "make me" every time they asked you to do anything, kneel, laundry, groceries, pay the bills... you would get tiresome very quickly.
...
So let's tell the truth about what we're talking about. In playful exchanges, you are difficult, challenging and for some reason, you want to be made to act in a certain way. You want to be forced possibly to behave yourself. Or do something you might really want to do but you need the other person to handle you. You need them to earn it.

NOT submission in my book. Not by a long shot.

I've written about this many times. Bratting got popular with younger lifestyle members who like to play the game of bratting. And since many take the word brat as it is meant normally, your insistence that you aren't rude or nasty or any of that shit is irrelevant. Because you are embracing a term that has always always always had a negative meaning.

***And please don't argue that this lifestyle is supposed to be all accepting. Because that is wrong. Where risk is high, judgment and assessment of what people do are critical more than anywhere else. ***

I'm feisty. I can be a little fresh here and there if we are kidding around, but nothing gives me more pleasure than being obedient and making him happy. For me that is submission. So the real concepts here are obedience and submitting. In other words NOT making someone jump through hoops and force you every time you are together.
...
People with experience in the lifestyle who have dealt with brats are often down on the term. I've been in dungeons where the self-appointed brat is squealing, fooling around, and running away all in the middle of play space, which is supposed to be quiet, respectful, and where you are never to step into the bubble of another's scene. EVER.

Your issue isn't how people deal with the concept of Brats.
It's how many bad experiences real-time people have had with Brats.

Out of my experience in mentoring new subs, I find that bratting boils down to fear. Giving openly and trustingly without reservation takes a long long time to finesse. It is normal to have a little fear regarding surrender and the vulnerability it pings inside you. I see brating in those moments as a knee-jerk reaction. So rather than just give it up (which you should not do prematurely) people brat/resist to make the other person work for what they give up.

If you are in that situation I suggest you are playing too soon with someone if all you can think to do is resist and be a pain in the ass to them. Just say no and put n the time to figure out who you are and what you want to give joyfully in that relationship.
...
You can certainly argue the point defensively, but the bottom line in how others see bratting is that it is a game. Not authentic submission where you give from the heart but manipulation designed to drive that other person to act how you want them to.

It is NOT about giving your submission or gifts of service.
It's about what you can get out of the deal.
...
And here's why it should matter to you if you are not with that passive guy who enjoys your controlling him through brratting.

As I and others have said many times, this lifestyle in all its forms attracts people who are not here for the good stuff. They are here to abuse others. And who do abusive men seek out first? Brats. Why? Because they want to hurt you and call it taming.

While I don't know your experience level in the real world of this, I can assure you, that I have many stories of this happening. Few with happy endings. Therefore, when I encounter a new sub I ask two things of her.
...Take being new and being a brat out of your profile and meet other experienced subs as fast as you can.

See, this isn't a discussion or even an argument. Brats have never been embraced by others and until you care more about your reputation in the lifestyle, your chance of finding an authentic strong Dominant partner and happiness will be compromised. And if you meet one, odds are good he will walk away from you because authentic strong dominants do not like being manipulated.

If you want to be in the lifestyle, you will continue to be judged by that term as long as you let it define you.

Now you can be pissed off. And that's OK with me. But only if it makes you rethink what you call submission and why you are motivated to taint it with brattiness.

H*

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} • Oct 4, 2021

While I enjoy brat behavior from time to time, I am not a brat. I do agree that brat behavior is a subtle manipulation to get what you want. When done playfully and appropriately everyone enjoys it. When taken out of context or used to excuse real bad behavior is where my problem lies as is the case with most people. My submission does not depend on bratting. I am a submissive who When comfortable enough to express it will playfully brat if it is positively received. If there is no positive, there is no reason to continue. Not everyone who enjoys small amounts of brat behavior are fearful or unsubmissive. I can only do it when 100% comfortable with my place and solid that my Dom would also enjoy it.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Oct 4, 2021

Gaiawolf​(sub female){Protected} "Not everyone who enjoys small amounts of brat behavior are fearful or unsubmissive. I can only do it when 100% comfortable with my place and solid that my Dom would also enjoy it."

Agreed.

Nor did I say that was the case. Those who come in as brats and use it as the mainstay of their relating may well be coming from fear and not understand submission. Or they're calling it submission but it isn't and they aren't really submissive. Which is ok too, if you know yourself.

Very different.

I joke and play around as well. As you said, when comfortable and positively received. If not well received it needs rethinking and more self-control.