Sub/slave training?

Sub/slave training?

slave Sakura​(switch female){Owned} • Oct 17, 2021

i have had some formal training, but it was thru a friend a few years ago. I am anxious for more. Does anyone know of any training programs anywhere? I remember seeing a weekend program on Fetlife, but I don't remember where that post was...

Thanks!!
slave Sakura

Secret Mind​(dom male) • Oct 17, 2021

You should be extremely careful and cautious of any post like that.
A submissive slave should only be trained by the one they choose as their Dominant.
Every Dominant likes things done differently. From serving, talking, even just simply standing or kneeling.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Oct 17, 2021

Here maybe https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?blog_id=60944

Training is a loaded word and not everyone will see or think of it the same. What does it mean to you?

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 17, 2021

Training programs for Subs? Well although I'm certainly not a "true sub" as it is often portrayed here and in general, and on that account I don't think much of such things, but having said all that, I never heard of a "formal submissive training program"-- and I wouldn't think it would be a great idea anyway.

I'm not particularly fond of the concept to begin with, because the best way to go about being a good submissive is to follow one's heart so to speak. Go with your nature within the context of your particular dynamic.

As someone already wrote, different dominants like their subs to be subs in a certain way. There is no 'cookie cutter" dom, neither is there a cookie-cutter sub. "Training" to me seems to imply there is a universal, one-size-fits-all way to behave, not behave, and so-on.

As the fine print disclaimers on television commercials say for certain products goes:

"Individual Results May Vary".

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Oct 17, 2021

Fetlife:

The MTTA Academy in MD has offered training for many years now. They are also affiliated with the MsC event and the MAST groups that are global.

Near you, there are also the several MAST groups and the M/s gathering event. TES fest meets in Piscataway NJ and many more.

There is also a group in the Berkshires but I have seen anything on them in a while.

This is a difficult topic. I never got involved with formal training because there are rules I disagree with...

MTTA asks that all subs, slaves be naked all the time and submit to anyone who is a Top, Dom. I think they've relaxed that over time but it didn't set well with me.

I think I read a similar attitude on the other group located in the Berkshires.

We in this life suffer from some who offer to train or mentor but they really just want to have their fun and then walk away when they want to which usually leaves the s type heartbroken. "It was only training" followed by a shrug usually means you were used. Sure you might discover parts of yourself but the cut loose aspect of this is pretty heartless. These are not people capable (for whatever reason) of having a serious long-term relationship, so they feast off new people, get their fill, and bolt.

There is no replacement for learning the nuts and bolts of SM and power exchange on your own through well-respected published books that have been around a long time.

There is also an essential need for you to learn what is safe and what is not. People do a lot of guess your best and don't discover the risk until too late.

Such as tens units placed near the heart.
-bondage left in place too long
-bondage knots placed in sensitive blood flow areas on the body. etc

Far too many to list here.

Bottom line, if you don't know - you can't know if the person you are trusting is dangerous.

You can go on Fetlife and join groups for MTTA and reach out to those who did the program for feedback. Many are thrilled by it and very close to others who were in it as well.

I would also argue that a friend training you is not what it sounds like. There is a level of intimacy and surrender you cannot create that way. So yes, you got to experience SM but not the intricacies of power exchange. And there is no rush to that. Which is why it is important for you to learn more of the fundamentals.

However, yes there are respected training options. But proceed carefully and talk to a lot of people first.

As far as the link. I know Sir Guy for over a decade now. He has offered many classes. He is a great guy and I would support anything he offers. He also speaks at many events and groups.

H*

slave Sakura​(switch female){Owned} • Oct 18, 2021

Thanks everyone for your input. I guess I should have phrased it more "education" and not "training." I have about 7 yrs in the scene so I'm not a newbie, but of course all words of caution are always welcomed. I am of course aware of the M/s Conference, but was looking for something more on the s side.

Def not talking about The Story of O, but highly recommend seeing it if you haven't.

Bunnie • Oct 18, 2021

If service submission is your thing, perhaps approaching your local groups and asking if you can train in service to them, may help give you a new skill set, or help with mindset?
Setting up/cleaning/offering any skills you have (non-sexual massage eg.), food/drink service… anything like that. Being exposed to many different walks will no doubt give you a rounded experience of “general” subservience.
Also, things like Skillshares and Workshops are great places to pick up bits and pieces. These can be found in the “Events” listing on FetLife, or maybe even here if you’re lucky.

There is a slave training academy somewhere in America, but I don’t know much about it. It sounds kind of more like giving bored housewives an opportunity for a “slave experience” rather than actual “training” though… but as I said, I don’t know much about it. I will find the person who is great for these things (he’s like an American local community BDSM encyclopaedia lol) and point him this way… hopefully he may have some other suggestions that can help

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Oct 18, 2021

slave Sakura​(sub female){Under Cons}

"I am of course aware of the M/s Conference but was looking for something more on the s side."

Cool. M/s conference was started by subs/slaves and every event (though you may not be into that.) always has classes and support discussion circles for s types. Get on Fet. There are tons of s type groups you can look into.
..........
"Def not talking about The Story of O, but highly recommend seeing it if you haven't."

I found the Story of O Negative. The secretary perpetuated the, "You have to be broken to be into this" where the s type manipulates the 'broken' boss to get him to spank her.

And as the image on my profile says, it's more interesting because he is a millionaire. If he lived in a trailer, we wouldn't see it as so cool.

.......

Fantasy is fine if you can remember that it IS fantasy. Problem is, too many come to these various websites (and some real-time events) using fantasy as a blueprint, which is just not ever going to happen.

TNS​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2021

If it's educational information that you are looking for it is best to look for Munches and events at/in your local community. Make it something for the two of you this way you can both be there and talk while it is fresh in your head and not relaying it at a later time of date.

sub jim​(sub male){Want to. B} • Nov 12, 2021

I would like to be rained allso it would be nice to have a training places near rochester Minnesota.for dorms to hone thair craft .i would love to volunteer