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Strictly Online D/s Relationship 1:1 Pros and Cons

Brooklyn Not Looking
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022

Strictly Online D/s Relationship 1:1 Pros and Cons

Brooklyn Not Looking • Jan 2, 2022
What are some of the Pros and Cons of a strictly digital dynamic/relationship? (Online relationship)

1:1 One Pro and One Con example please*. To give perspective.



*only if possible, obviously you can do you but for the sake of gathering information that could be useful to everyone, share your experience for good or for worse.

Thank you
Maxorde{Not lookin}
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
Maxorde{Not lookin} • Jan 2, 2022
Pro: Many excellent long distance play toys and ways to see and hear your other half

Con: As stated above, sometimes you just need physical touch
tallslenderguy​(other male)
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
Pro: The written word can be excellently edited and purposeful, long thoughts/feelings can expressed. Written words can be a form of edging.

Con: The written word lacks the tone and visual cues of face to face interaction/communication. It can be easier to misunderstand or change the intended message of the writer, adding ones own tone to what was written.
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
tallslenderguy wrote:
Pro: The written word can be excellently edited and purposeful, long thoughts/feelings can expressed. Written words can be a form of edging.

(The disadvantage to this is it also allows someone to labor over their words and repeatedly rework them and edit them to appear they're quite erudite and expressive when if fact, they're often lacking in actual face to face communication skills)

Pros: They can fill a void when a face to face real time relationship is out of reach due to financial circumstances, career/job complications.

Cons: If the relationship is indeed, STRICTLY an online one, I become even more frustrated than forgoing a relationship at all. The online tease, trust and promise turns to agony knowing it will never result in any real physical contact. I will in fact, wind up more miserable and even lonelier than when I embarked on it.
tallslenderguy​(other male)
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote:
tallslenderguy wrote:
Pro: The written word can be excellently edited and purposeful, long thoughts/feelings can expressed. Written words can be a form of edging.

(The disadvantage to this is it also allows someone to labor over their words and repeatedly rework them and edit them to appear they're quite erudite and expressive when if fact, they're often lacking in actual face to face communication skills)
.


Oh yeah, good point. i have experienced this as well.

i dated a trans person a few years back (FtM) who i think developed a different way of face to face communication because of being different from the 'norm.' They would often pause with long spaces of silence in face to face conversation, before responding. Not long enough to take a nap, but it seemed that way at times. Once they responded though, their words were concise, well thought out, pretty damned perfect.

my understanding of how the brain is wired is everything goes through the amygdala (the emotional seat of the brain) before arrivinging at the centers of reason. To me, balance would involve inclusion of both, not hiding our feelings behind reason, but not having feelings devoid of reason either.
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
tallslenderguy wrote:
i dated a trans person a few years back (FtM) who i think developed a different way of face to face communication because of being different from the 'norm.' They would often pause with long spaces of silence in face to face conversation, before responding. Not long enough to take a nap, but it seemed that way at times. Once they responded though, their words were concise, well thought out, pretty damned perfect.


I've had more than one experience of being in a chat with someone only to find out they were actually steering the conversations in ways that held to a prepared SCRIPT they had on hand. Yep. As the dominant person in the convo, they set the tone and orchestrated the entire interactions in ways that would allow them to shoot back with pre-written responses. Crazy shit. *sigh*
tallslenderguy​(other male)
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote:
tallslenderguy wrote:
i dated a trans person a few years back (FtM) who i think developed a different way of face to face communication because of being different from the 'norm.' They would often pause with long spaces of silence in face to face conversation, before responding. Not long enough to take a nap, but it seemed that way at times. Once they responded though, their words were concise, well thought out, pretty damned perfect.


I've had more than one experience of being in a chat with someone only to find out they were actually steering the conversations in ways that held to a prepared SCRIPT they had on hand. Yep. As the dominant person in the convo, they set the tone and orchestrated the entire interactions in ways that would allow them to shoot back with pre-written responses. Crazy shit. *sigh*


Oh wow, yes. i have had conversations that felt that way as well. And "crazy shit" pretty much describes how it affects me. To me, the point of interaction is to connect with the actual person, their honest, true thoughts and feelings. If they are working from a script, its all play acting and towarts the intent. i find that cowardly at best.
Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
11 months ago • Jan 2, 2022
tallslenderguy wrote:
Oh wow, yes. i have had conversations that felt that way as well. And "crazy shit" pretty much describes how it affects me. To me, the point of interaction is to connect with the actual person, their honest, true thoughts and feelings. If they are working from a script, its all play acting and towarts the intent. i find that cowardly at best.


These experiences are WHY I refuse any kind of online only relationship. This won't be popular with a lot of people, but from MY point of view - based on my OWN bad encounters - strictly online feels like roleplay rather than an authentic kinky symbiosis. I'm delighted for those that can make it work and be fulfilled but that's not me anymore.
CharBunny​(sub female)
11 months ago • Jan 3, 2022
CharBunny​(sub female) • Jan 3, 2022
Pro: sometimes it's all that's available for whatever reason, and it allows an escape from reality/ exploration of sexuality that otherwise isn't achievable.

Cons: touch. It's been said, but oooh the touch.

Another pro... Tho I'm not sure that it is a pro, is that the person on the receiving end runs it all through their head and so can create a fantasy that may not exist. For some people, that's enough.

(Also ... A way of sexually engaging the brain without the body (to body contact) that might work for some asexuals?)/ Not my area so happy to be corrected but I have an asexual friend who has commented on this)