I most definitely have limits for myself, as well as what I see to be reasonable limits for other people.
I'm 37, and while there is *some* wiggle room, I'd say I don't generally go lower than 26 or 25, or higher than 45, depending. The higher age is mostly because a lot of people above that tend to look too old for me, and it seems out of balance. Also admittedly it does weird me out to imagine dating someone in or close to their 50s, while still being in my 30s. Generally speaking, though, my absolute rule is that if you're young enough for me to've conceived you, or old enough to've conceived me, the answer is no. So the absolute limit is 13 years in either direction, but touching those limits is unlikely.
As for other people, there's still some wiggle room sometimes, but I definitely do not find a Hugh Hefner-y situation to be acceptable. Elderly people have no business dating and/or sleeping with 18 year old people. I find it really gross,
and personally consider it to be a slightly extended version of pedophilia,
which I believe can carry into somewhat further ages as well. I know that someone can legally sleep with whomever they want when they turn 18, but I don't think the law necessarily represents morality on this one. There's just so much nuance to all of it, so many potential factors that make something acceptable or not. Overall, though, I'd say anyone beyond their 30s should ABSOLUTELY not be dating and/or sleeping with teenagers, regardless of legality. Outside of that, I'd say I'm still a little icked out by large age differences in couples
. At some point it just feels like manipulation on the part of the older person,
and possibly naivete on the part of the younger person.🥱 Or sometimes the other way if the older person is in the elderly range and maybe not totally in control of their faculties. Hard to say what exactly that point is, but if I had to guess, I think 30+ year age differences are questionable. A 50 year-old person dating an 80 year-old person.. just.. ick. I don't understand the appeal at all.
I found this post extraordinary.
I have put emojis next to the most intolerant and judgemental parts of the post and refer to them below:
1. In the very first line, the poster is setting limits for other people.Therefore I assume it is acceptable for us to set limits for her, and her behaviour?
2. The poster finds some other people's relationships "gross". It is highly likely that many in the vanilla world would find her relationships gross too. So it might be a good idea not to criticise others. No?
3. She feels it is an "extended version of paedophilia". Really? This would appear to show an incredible lack of understanding - intolerance even - of DD/lg relationships.
4. She is "icked out" by large age differences in couples. Then I suggest just ignore them and concentrate on your own relationships, whilst knowing that other people may be "icked out" by those too!
5. It feels like "manipulation on the part of the older person". Wow. Just wow. In every case? No exceptions? Can the older person also not be manipulated? Is it possible that the problem in fact, lies in your mind, rather than in them?
6. "Naivete on the part of the younger person." Incredible. So there is no possibilty that the younger person has had "normal" - which means "acceptable to you" - relationships, and found that they are not for them, so they have actively gone looking for an older partner?
Nope, they are all just "naive" of course.....
I appreciate that the quoted post is just an opinion, but the whole post reeks of narrow-minded and unpleasant judgement.
On a kink site!
Not long ago, inter-racial relationships were deemed "icky".
Same sex relationships were "gross".
TV, TS, GF etc.were scorned and diminished in the same way the poster has treated age gap relationships.
So, just as in all these case, I suggest that if it works for the individuals involved, one should be just as tolerant as you would like others to be tolerant of you.