Jack of all trades

Jack of all trades

Master WillTheCage​(dom male) • Jul 22, 2022

As we can all agree kinks are fun but at what point should you narrow it down to focus and learn more on what you are currently embarking on. Can someone truly be a Jack of all kinks and change for the “partner” they will play with?
To say your a Dom is easy, but living as one is the true challenge. I’ve met a few people who glorify the thought and from the outside embrace the idea of being one. Being a Dom is so much more than that, you must not only live it sexually but in your everyday life. Yes you can just be a Dom in the bedroom but to embrace it as a lifestyle you must learn to evoke it on a daily basis. This leads me to my last question for everyone.
Can you be a full Dom but unable to manifest it outside the bedroom?

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Jul 23, 2022

People can enjoy many facets of kink and not be an expert. Can they change to fit what another wants them to be? It happens all the time and not just in a kink lifestyle. People pretend to like things they don't like, do things they don't want to do just to please another, to keep a job, to prevent unrest. For generations, woman have been taught to put aside their own desires to "catch" another.

Can you be a full Dom but unable to manifest it outside the bedroom? So many snarky comments going through my mind.....

In my opinion: a person that is a REAL Dom/Master, first masters their own life. That doesn't mean that they are in control of every aspect of their life because that's impossible, especially living in a society where a large number of people make the rules. What I mean about their "own life," is that they mastered control, or constantly striving to, over how they react to what happens around them. It also means that they treat those around them with respect and dignity whether they are their submissive/slave or some person they encounter in day to day life.

Can they be dominant at home and not in public? A lot of people who take on the role of Dom or Master do so because they feel that their life is being controlled so they look to control another. They think that controlling someone that is submissive will make them feel better about themselves. Basically, they are just abusive bullies.

Re: Jack of all trades

Zelia • Jul 23, 2022

Yes, my pleasure, kink if You like, is my Master’s pleasure. Whatever pleases Him pleases me. His interests vary and so do mine, to match His needs. It’s just how I am and how I experience the lifestyle.

Master WillTheCage​(dom male) • Jul 23, 2022

Moll,
That’s just it at a point you should not conform so much for a sub. If you always had interest in it then it makes sense to but you shouldn’t rush and do it just because you are attracted to the person and that’s what they want. At a point you need to state true to self.
The part of saying Doms need the control because they are controlled is a interesting way to look at it. Now I’m sitting here wondering who the heck has control and led me here. At a point I’ve always just noticed how I like to take control with partners and mold them. Your aspect though make me wonder why though. Probably childhood trauma. Lol



Alais,
Your experience is as textbook as it comes. This is exactly an answer I would expect.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jul 23, 2022

Indeed, at what point should a dom "narrow it down to focus and learn more on what you are currently embarking on."

I find the operative word is "should".. I would ask in turn, "Should" a dominant feel they "have to" as in "must" narrow the focus and change what they're doing? D/s dynamics are as varied as anything else in the world of interpersonal relationships be they twisted or vanilla. If one wants to "narrow the focus" -- by all means, knock your socks off.. But if they are in a healthy dynamic as things are, then leave it be.

The worst thing either half of a dynamic can do is: "If it ain't broken, fix it 'til it is."

There is no "Official Book of Regulations and Definitions" as to who is a "true" dom or a "true" sub. -- because just like there is no official gospel for us twisted fucks, there is no duly-appointed authority empowered to point a proverbial finger and say "You're a deficient dom!" or "You're a sub-par sub". Only self-appointed ones.


So in answer to the open question at the end, Fella, :

"Can one be a true dom but unable to manifest it outside the bedroom?"

Yes!

Because as I already wrote, in a thriving dynamic, every dom or sub is a true dom or sub in their respective and shared estimation.

--- and that, guys and dolls, is all that matters.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Jul 23, 2022

Who polices if one is Dom enough? I truly could care less if I manifest my dominance to the world. In fact, I’m likely one of the nicest sweet people you’ll ever meet. Southern and I take on the caregiver role to most of my employees, friends, family and my submissive. If I cook her dinner does that make me submissive? Of course not, she’s also my partner and we work together in our home and life. I don’t need anyone to “know” I’m dominant besides her. And trust me, there is never a doubt.

Master WillTheCage​(dom male) • Jul 23, 2022

Miki,
This right here "If it ain't broken, fix it 'til it is." Literally had me rolling, I need a shirt that say that.
As to your answer I love your view point, but don’t you think there should be a string foundation of your kink? The main reason you started this life style. Just like every chef can cook but that doesn’t mean they can bake. There are things I believe a Dom can jump into to bring in a “partner” but doesn’t that mean they are just faking it. In the end as long as both are satisfied it doesn’t matter but to me you have lost part of yourself as a Dom to please someone else maybe I’m wrong. Would love to hear more, but like I said your view point does have some very good points.

Djinni,
No one can police you but you, unless it’s illegal and is hurting our society(say this in prescription commercial voice)
But what you’re saying is correct I’ve done countless loads of laundry for subs but that doesn’t make me and less of a Dom. In fact I think that is some of the best characteristic of on in the position of power, being able to be so sweet and at the press of a button some of the nastiest and kinky things come out.
Let me ask you this, do you ever find yourself taking leadership roles of any kind with employees, family, friends?

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • Jul 23, 2022

"Can you be a full Dom but unable to manifest it outside the bedroom?""

Everyone will have their own definition of what a "full Dom" is. And they can all be correct within the structure of their relationship.

I am a 24/7 Dom. Inside and outside the bedroom. But I know and understand that a truly good Dom knows how and when to submit to his or her sub. I may be a 24/7 Dom but I can't be right 24/7. I'm still human.

moll​(other female){owned slav} • Jul 23, 2022

You are absolutely right. Dominance does not have to be announced nor proven. A lot of "Doms" think they have to prove themselves, make sure that everyone knows that they are the big bad in charge, but a true dominant knows who they are, masters themselves first and foremost, earn respect, and leads by example.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Jul 24, 2022

Constantly….
It mostly comes off as maternal (from a childless woman) with a bit of tough love. Perhaps even pushy…. But it’s who I am, love it or hate it. I’m one who will stand in the gap if no one steps up to take charge or lead.