I'mME
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
red panda,
I understand 100% about folks who want to tell you what is wrong with your thinking. So many opportunities missed because folks are not as open as they claim, they are twue one wayers [I think that is a made-up word, sorry, it fits. Lol], or they assume instead of asking questions to gain a better understanding of what someone is feeling despite what ever words they use]. Some people who practice poly as with anything else in life can be somewhat harsh if they think someone is hanging on to supposed monogamist views, even when that's not what they are doing at all. Yes that was all written with humor red panda, because I don't want to lose my humor ever, it's how I deal with the turd balls that roll down the hill of life as we are climbing the hill. I hope it brought a smile to your face. I wanted to be sure I understood what was making you ''uncomfortable''  before sharing my thoughts with you. Now mind you, I am nobody special or important anywhere or to anyone but my ChooChoo.
You can set boundaries. If I read correctly, you didn't come into the poly life with a partner? If you had, the way I understand it is [similar to negotiations for power exchange, play, dynamics] you and your partner would sit down and work out the rules. It's just a word. If your boundary is you don't want to have your date, partner in the same physical space until you are more comfortable or never, then that's a boundary. Yes there will be people who may say whatever, who cares. I don't think that it's unreasonable that you don't want your partners in the same space. I get that, totally. There are different types of poly relationships, everyone has boundaries and they may shift as in real life. 3, 4, they may be closed or open. It's gets very complicated despite many poly folks claiming it's very simple. People set boundaries on protected sex or fluid bonding [  ] with this person but not that person. [Are you familiar with that? Lol]
I thought about trying to date within the community, but I'm not the elusive [unicorn]. I am a human being and I am not bisexual. I am a person who falls for the mind of someone whether it's a male or female. But even with that, it does not turn me on to be with someone and perform for a 3rd party. Poly is poly. Poly with power exchange dynamics is another separate situation. And none of it is simple, because at the end of the day we are flesh and bone with beating hearts. All that said, I still have my thoughts on things and I encourage everyone to know themselves enough that they can set boundaries. After all boundaries are lined set to protect the person from physical and emotional harm, whether that's right or wrong. They can be done away with or shifted when someone feels safe doing so. Okay so all my talk above boils down to, it's my belief you would benefit from setting boundaries if you move forward with exploring poly. You can not let someone tell you your boundary sucks or is wrong [people should not do that anyway, but I'm a realist and I think you are too]. The Cage has Dawn and Dan's podcast listed. Please don't kill me, I can't remember the damn name.
As far as groups, Reddit [be careful there, it's a mine field, FET, I believe there are poly people are this platform. I'm interested in knowing their views on setting boundaries navigating poly]. Disclaimer: my writing sucks ass, nothing I said above is absolute/finite, if you see a grammatical error [this includes how a sentence is put together] I don't want to hear about it] , I come to these platforms to learn and socialize with folks as opposed to a classroom with an English professor. Thank you. |
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Online now
moll(other female){owned slav}
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
[quote="red panda"][quote="I'mME"]
red panda wrote: red panda wrote: It sounded as if you are uncomfortable [correct me if I'm wrong] with actually being in the same physical space with someone you just spent time with and maybe their other partner [or yours] come into the same physical space. Am I way off? Hello! Yes, at this time, I have an easier time accepting that my partners are involved with others when I don't see or hear details about them. It's tougher to deal with actually seeing someone go and be with another partner or potential partner right there in the same physical space. I wouldn't use the word uncomfortable, because too often I've experienced it as a way for someone to attempt to invalidate expressed boundaries, but I'll say it's a new experience, at the very least. And thank you for the suggestions about the podcast and books. If you find the links, please do post them! redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Something the article doesn't cover is talking about the "metamour" (your partner's partner who’s not romantically or sexually involved with you). The only thing you need to know about those people is that they are practicing safe sex..ie condoms, getting tested regularly, etc. Just stipulate that you don't want to hear, nor meet, about your partner's metamours and you will do the same. If they respect your feeling, and that's an important thing, they will respect your wishes. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Last edited by * on Sun Jul 31, 2022 9:51 pm, edited 1 time in total |
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I'mME
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
[quote="moll"][quote="red panda"]
I'mME wrote: red panda wrote: red panda wrote: It sounded as if you are uncomfortable [correct me if I'm wrong] with actually being in the same physical space with someone you just spent time with and maybe their other partner [or yours] come into the same physical space. Am I way off? Hello! Yes, at this time, I have an easier time accepting that my partners are involved with others when I don't see or hear details about them. It's tougher to deal with actually seeing someone go and be with another partner or potential partner right there in the same physical space. I wouldn't use the word uncomfortable, because too often I've experienced it as a way for someone to attempt to invalidate expressed boundaries, but I'll say it's a new experience, at the very least. And thank you for the suggestions about the podcast and books. If you find the links, please do post them! redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Lol x 1000.needed that. |
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
I'mME wrote: redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Lol x 1000.needed that.[/quote] Which....the Shifu thing? |
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I'mME
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
moll wrote: I'mME wrote: redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Lol x 1000.needed that. Which....the Shifu thing?[/quote] Yes ma'am. I related. Thank you. 
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
I'mME wrote: moll wrote: I'mME wrote: redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Lol x 1000.needed that. Which....the Shifu thing? Yes ma'am. I related. Thank you. [/quote]
I am so happy that I can make you smile. |
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I'mME
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
moll wrote: I'mME wrote: moll wrote: I'mME wrote: redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Lol x 1000.needed that. Which....the Shifu thing? Yes ma'am. I related. Thank you. I am so happy that I can make you smile.[/quote] I smile all the time. I guess maybe I should have written it's nice getting to know who has a sense of humor. I remember that when having conversations with people that we can't see, does that make any sense? I would not have to use emojis to convey my intent. |
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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1 year ago •
Jul 31, 2022
I'mME wrote: moll wrote: I'mME wrote: moll wrote: I'mME wrote: redpanda, I just started reading this article (has nothing to do with BDSM) https://www.verywellmind.com/what-does-polyamorous-mean-21882#:~:text=To%20be%20polyamorous%20means%20to,people%20of%20different%20sexual%20orientations. Go down to "Avoiding Relationship Issues" and I think you will find some good tips. Be well and safe...by the way...every time I see your screen name I think of Master Shifu Lol x 1000.needed that. Which....the Shifu thing? Yes ma'am. I related. Thank you. I am so happy that I can make you smile. I smile all the time. I guess maybe I should have written it's nice getting to know who has a sense of humor. I remember that when having conversations with people that we can't see, does that make any sense? I would not have to use emojis to convey my intent.[/quote] 
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I'mME
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1 year ago •
Aug 1, 2022
I'mME wrote: red panda,
I understand 100% about folks who want to tell you what is wrong with your thinking. So many opportunities missed because folks are not as open as they claim, they are twue one wayers [I think that is a made-up word, sorry, it fits. Lol], or they assume instead of asking questions to gain a better understanding of what someone is feeling despite what ever words they use]. Some people who practice poly as with anything else in life can be somewhat harsh if they think someone is hanging on to supposed monogamist views, even when that's not what they are doing at all. Yes that was all written with humor red panda, because I don't want to lose my humor ever, it's how I deal with the turd balls that roll down the hill of life as we are climbing the hill. I hope it brought a smile to your face. I wanted to be sure I understood what was making you ''uncomfortable'' before sharing my thoughts with you. Now mind you, I am nobody special or important anywhere or to anyone but my ChooChoo.
You can set boundaries. If I read correctly, you didn't come into the poly life with a partner? If you had, the way I understand it is [similar to negotiations for power exchange, play, dynamics] you and your partner would sit down and work out the rules. It's just a word. If your boundary is you don't want to have your date, partner in the same physical space until you are more comfortable or never, then that's a boundary. Yes there will be people who may say whatever, who cares. I don't think that it's unreasonable that you don't want your partners in the same space. I get that, totally. There are different types of poly relationships, everyone has boundaries and they may shift as in real life. 3, 4, they may be closed or open. It's gets very complicated despite many poly folks claiming it's very simple. People set boundaries on protected sex or fluid bonding [ ] with this person but not that person. [Are you familiar with that? Lol]
I thought about trying to date within the community, but I'm not the elusive [unicorn]. I am a human being and I am not bisexual. I am a person who falls for the mind of someone whether it's a male or female. But even with that, it does not turn me on to be with someone and perform for a 3rd party. Poly is poly. Poly with power exchange dynamics is another separate situation. And none of it is simple, because at the end of the day we are flesh and bone with beating hearts. All that said, I still have my thoughts on things and I encourage everyone to know themselves enough that they can set boundaries. After all boundaries are lined set to protect the person from physical and emotional harm, whether that's right or wrong. They can be done away with or shifted when someone feels safe doing so. Okay so all my talk above boils down to, it's my belief you would benefit from setting boundaries if you move forward with exploring poly. You can not let someone tell you your boundary sucks or is wrong [people should not do that anyway, but I'm a realist and I think you are too]. The Cage has Dawn and Dan's podcast listed. Please don't kill me, I can't remember the damn name.
As far as groups, Reddit [be careful there, it's a mine field, FET, I believe there are poly people are this platform. I'm interested in knowing their views on setting boundaries navigating poly]. Disclaimer: my writing sucks ass, nothing I said above is absolute/finite, if you see a grammatical error [this includes how a sentence is put together] I don't want to hear about it] , I come to these platforms to learn and socialize with folks as opposed to a classroom with an English professor. Thank you. red panda, The podcast is called Erotic Awakening |
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Dom Pinnacle(dom male)
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1 year ago •
Aug 11, 2022
Red panda, this is a recipe for disaster imo. Everybody is free but not really. It all sounds good in theory but emotions will ALWAYS kick you in the ass, eventually. Only a very small percent of people can do this long term. Everyone else is just fooling themselves.
I'm honest with myself in saying I could never be good with a woman I love smashing other men (if I didn't care about her, I couldn't care less). Mines would be more like a lion pride. BUT...I wouldn't dare try it in this modern era. |
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