Punishment Ideas?

Lechelle​(sub female){No} • Aug 7, 2022

My Master thought he was going to use spanking as a punishment but it turned out I enjoy it to much for it be a punishment. We are still trying to figure out things but since I hate wearing dresses and skirts he decided to try it as a punishment for me.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 7, 2022

For those who are following this thread:

Here is a video I found of 30 NON-impact punishments. It goes really in depth about the differences between funishments, punishments and how to use them effectively.

https://youtu.be/pIHwAxWEGCE

Ingénue{VK} • Aug 8, 2022

Ignore them or suggest 'a break'. It's a gross punishment, waves all the red flags and often makes the sub super sad and in fear of abandonment so they don't leave even when they know they should. Marvellous punishment that many new/shite Doms on here favour as they can chatterfuck others while they put you on pause.

Ingénue{VK} • Aug 8, 2022

I almost forgot and you can't edit so meh.

Make them read Kahlil Gibran, the smug boring fuck.

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Aug 8, 2022

That’s a fucked up thing to do to a sub. Being ignored like that is actually a hard limit for me. It would be heart wrenching. Plus in my opinion any Dom that cares for his sub should have difficulty giving such a punishment. How are you supposed to make sure your most cherished possession is okay if you are ignoring her?

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • Aug 8, 2022

I guess I should clarify that if it’s an approved punishment in a particular dynamic then have at it I guess.
Personally I think it’s harmful for any type of relationship but that’s just my opinion. Something like that would have me safewording out of the punishment and needing a serious conversation with my Dom.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Aug 8, 2022

That sort of shit should never be used as a punishment unless it is explicitly negotiated as such. That is abandonment in its purest form, and gaslighting by telling a sub it's her fault because she earned it as punishment. As far as why a Dom might choose to do that I think has mostly to do with meanness or plain old inxperience, though I imagine a lot of those same Doms do a lot of screwing around during that time like you describe.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 8, 2022

Did you watch the video, in it's entirety? Did you see the caveat she put in? I did and she explains it in detail.

I wouldn't trust her with a Brat because she holds the opinion (it seems) that Brats need to be broken, but I watched this video completely before posting it.

Zelia • Aug 8, 2022

I watched it in its entirety and would still say

Using silent treatment is a form of abuse preferred by narcissists. It puts all the power in the hands of the person withdrawing contact. It renders the recipient entirely powerless, they feel insignificant, unworthy of contact and may, when left alone with their thoughts, engage in deep self loathing.

The ‘Dom’ has no way of checking in on the submissive, because they have withdrawn contact. If there is an emergency the submissive is left without their ‘Dom’s’ support. They can’t reach out to them for help. It’s damaging, and at worst dangerous.

On the whole I felt the video removed the human aspect from a relationship and presented things in a very cold transactional manner. This is why I don’t think it’s wise to ask anyone how to punish a submissive. Submissives are human, they have their own limits, mind fucks, every day pressures on their lives, responsibilities, insecurities and areas for growth.

Get to know Your submissive and engage in some thought. Read about the foundations of a dynamic and the purpose of punishment. When that is truly understood, effective punishments naturally follow.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Aug 8, 2022

On the whole, I agree. Learning your submissive, learning WHY they do things, learning their past history, WHY they have the limits, learning how they THINK is the best option. Not all punishments (personally, I prefer the word "consequences"...kids get punished. Adults suffer consequences.) fit for each submissive. A spanking to a masochist is a turn on while a spanking to someone who suffered abuse via spankings is traumatizing.

If I recall, the caveat DID say that it was to be short and NOT an excuse to ghost.

As an example, just 2 days ago, I got into a disagreement with a switch friend of mine. I told him that I was spiriling and that today was not a good day to talk to me. We didn't talk all day (which is unusual since we texts basicly every two hours). The next day however, we started with the small chats and then I suggested that because of our schedules, that tomorrow would be a good day to talk and asked him his thoughts. He agreed.

There's nothing wrong with walking away to cool off BUT, you have to state WHY you are walking away and for how long. Then, you HAVE to come back together and talk about what happened.

But saying something like, "you did wrong so your punishment is I won't talk to you!"...that's NOT ok. Walking away to prevent yourself from saying what you shouldn't, in the heat of anger, is healthy. It preserves the trust and the dynamic.

Just don't forget to come back and talk. If after talking it can't be resolved, THEN walk away with the mutual understanding that it's over.

No one should be left in the dark wondering "WTF just happened?".