Online now
Online now

Turn offs in new conversations

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only}
1 year ago • Nov 22, 2022
1. Since I'm looking for local residents, an immediate offer to move to my city.

"Um, you don't _know_ me and you're offering to move halfway across the continent / world based off of what you skimmed my profile? You are either delusional or a scammer."

2. Curt messages.

I understand that some people play this as a numbers game and can't be bothered to compose a message or read a profile. But looking at my profile - not even skimming it, just looking at the amount of content - it's pretty obvious that's not a game I play.

I follow a rule I've learned: never write more than the person who contacted me. EVAR.

Also, I have a default copy-pasta phrase for when I'm done talking to them.

3. Insults.

After running into one of these mofos who admitted to it, I now ask people who try negging / insulting me if they're one of those people who get off on being cussed out by dominants. "If you are, no thanks. I'm not kink-shamming, it's just not my scene."

They usually act SO SHOCKED by the very suggestion that, while reading their reply, I imagine them sputtering.

4. Announce that they're horny / playing with themselves.

"Well. Good luck with that. Bye."
Kurai Mori​(dom male)
1 year ago • Nov 22, 2022
Kurai Mori​(dom male) • Nov 22, 2022
Turn Offs???

Number 1... the one's that want to jump into conversations off site. Quick to hand out an email address and tell you to contact them there. - Sorry, I don't know you well enough to give out my email.

Number 2... the one's that want to submit, right out of the gate - telling me they read my profile. And I go look at their profile, finding nothing that relates to my interests. - Are you for real!?! Probably not...

Number 3... and my all time favorite... I'm not currently in Anytown, USA but I plan to be back sometime next year... - are those crickets, I am hearing???

Number 4 (just thought of this)... the uber dom... I can make you submit to me. - Did you not read my profile, where it says that I'm dominant also??? No, because I'm a real Dom and you will worship me. ?????????

Turn On???

Someone who engages me. Takes the time to write a decent intro - gives me at least three good lines of thought out descriptive narrative. And leaves room for some back and forth.

Or someone who took the time to craft something worth reading, even...
SassyinCali​(sub female){Taken}
1 year ago • Nov 23, 2022
Mine are probably similar to others.

Things that automatically discourage me from continuing a conversation or keep me from responding to initial contact:
1. Obviously not reading my profile when they say they have.
2. What they say in message does not match what is on their profile.
3. Immediately calling me a honorific or pet name or demanding that I use one with them.
4. The immediate demand for pictures or their excuses why they cannot reciprocate in picture exchange (example: the camera on their phone does not work).
5. Conversation is one-sided.
6. They do not seem to be responding in a logical way or I cannot understand their statements (I assume they are a bot).
7. They disappear mid-conversation and return days/weeks later as if they did not just disappear. I think this may be the resurrected ghost syndrome.
8. They are rude or condescending.
littleMagpie​(sub female)
1 year ago • Nov 26, 2022
littleMagpie​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2022
Presuming that I’ll ever be theirs.

Asking things they’ve got no need to know - first message and you want to know my underwear sizes? Nope.

Being a disrespectful tool.

And also people ignoring when you’ve requested they stop something. There’s a guy on here who obvious copy paste messages many people at once, longer mail about how you’ll do xyz for daddy and calling you his baby kitten - when told he’s not mine and I don’t like the names he told me that he’d call me what he wants and it’s not up to me how he acts. Instant block!

Also - anyone with a couples profile is an instant no for me. Because it’s a lie.
chattel​(sub female)
1 year ago • Nov 26, 2022
chattel​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2022
Being able to articulate what someone is seeking in a dynamic with some specifics makes me want to continue a conversation. Somewhat surprisingly to me, this is incredibly rare
1 year ago • Nov 27, 2022
I'mME • Nov 27, 2022
CSI wrote:
People that focus solely on the physical traits, body parts or actions make my body parts withdraw as far as humanly possibly. I cannot express how much this makes me cringe. If we haven't talked about anything else, why would that opener be ok?

I love it when they ask questions about me or say "what do you think about..." and then say a specific situation or news story or blog. Or show that they have read my profile or blog and actually are interested

Gee CSI,

Dom's actually bring up a news topics to you?

That would be a welcome change...
1 year ago • Nov 27, 2022
I'mME • Nov 27, 2022
Fyglia Wicked wrote:
1."What are you into "
Red flag regardless of their title
2.The 20 question
If so someone approaches you
They are the ones who are obligated to an introduction.. Not waste your time seeing what they can get from you .
3. Being clueless about BDSM and expecting you to teach them
Intellectually lazy people are not worth it.
4. If you put something specific on your profile and they try to side step it in an attempt for you to lower your standards.
They are not worth replying to.
You cannot teach people respect in boundaries.

So wise my Lady. ☺️
1 year ago • Nov 27, 2022
I'mME • Nov 27, 2022
tallslenderguy wrote:
Miki wrote:

Finally, my profile is deliberately thin because I'm not looking to start anything beyond casual conversation-- so it should be quite easy to read as opposed to other, more "substantial" ones that have the unintended side effect of blowing away a reader's eyeballs with a wall of text, especially walls of text that contain an unabridged autobiography.

Raises hand. i'm often guilty of this. my profile usually starts out reallllllly lonnnnnnng, not so much here, but on dating sites? Yep. Then i frequently go back and edit it down... and then go back and add more. It's, it's ALIVE!!!


I feel you 100% . Though often times I write a 'wall of text' but it's basically full of fluff w/ the occasional sentence for the discerning reader that gives an important piece of information about me. Lol. It separates folks for me in a way.

There is nothing wrong with using words and being detailed . If we were all the same (how fucking boring) and the world would stop revolving on it's axis.