Hello! I'm new here, clearly, but grateful to have found this community. I'd like to share with you my training plan for a week vacation with my sub. In terms of background although "experienced" she has demonstrated herself to be relatively green. She has had some pretty bad experiences with fake Doms, fake polyamorists and assholes in the past and I have been bringing her along slowly because of it. I've been especially focused on trying to help her improve her emotional intelligence. She is much younger than I am but, in spite of that, our relationship started out as plain old vanilla dating. It was only through random talk that we found out we both shared and were experienced with this level of kink.
With that background in mind, here's what I prepared for her. The idea is to give her one page at the start of each day of our vacation. We will be out for 5 days. I anticipate day 6 will take place when we're back in town and can dedicate a weekend to it.
Thoughts, comments, suggestions, improvements are requested and highly valued. Thanks!
[SUB] Slut Training Intensive Course
Today we will focus on mindfulness; identifying, processing, acknowledging and expressing our feelings and needs. In the context of a relationship these will also include being attentive to these aspects of your partner.
1.) You are to be attentive and receptive to your partner’s needs at all times. Receptiveness will be achieved by paying attention to his actions, expressions, behaviors and tone of voice. You are encouraged to ask frequently how he is feeling, or if he needs anything. You are to ask yourself “why is he feeling this way?” and “how can I best respond to his need?” If you are uncertain, you are to ask. Attentiveness will be achieved by acting in a manner that comforts him, identifies his needs (by asking questions), and performing any action necessary to satisfy his needs. This may be something as simple as bringing him a glass of water, holding his hand, completing tasks he is working on for him, or providing him with something he likes. Your goal is to be attentive to him and acting in a way that identifies or satisfies his needs at all times today.
2.) During the day you will continually take a “self inventory” of what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. To identify the “why” you will think back through your life to the first time you felt the sensation attached to your feeling and explore it. Once you have identified "what" and "why" you will, if needed, express this need to your partner in a respectful and loving fashion. You will at all times today maintain attentiveness by making his needs a priority. You will also trust that he will be receptive to and act in a manner that satisfies your needs.
3.) Your partner will be performing the same exercise in 1) and 2) today and will maintain the above standard at all times with respect to you. This is why you will be able to trust him as described above. At the end of this day you will experience deeper trust and have improved your skills of attending to your partner. He will have done the same.
Outstanding performance is defined as both partners feeling cared for, safe and well-attended. Complete honesty is expected.
**Outstanding performance will be rewarded with whatever [SUB] wants.**
Today you will focus on maintaining physical intimacy with your partner.
Your task today is to maintain loving, selfless, physical contact with your partner at all times. This may include but is not limited to snuggling, hand holding, hugs, kisses, massage, sitting on his lap, caresses, whispering softly in his ear your desires, etc. You are strongly encouraged to be creative and to have fun with this exercise.
He will be conducting the same exercise.
Remember your previous lessons on "selfless touch" and "generously receiving". You will be practicing these skills today.
Outstanding performance by both partners will be rewarded with a tantra and sensual aromatics session followed by a full body massage for [SUB].
Today you will practice and improve submissive obedience.
Remember: as a submissive you are not a slave unless you choose to be. Any gift of submission, obedience or slavery is given to your partner out of love, respect and desire.
Obedience will be practiced throughout the day by applying receptiveness and attentiveness (see day 1). You will comply, immediately and without question, with any request made of you today.
Obedience can be easily achieved by focusing not on the nature or purpose of the request but on immediate compliance. Your goal today is to achieve a state of loving compliance. I will assist you in learning this skill by giving you direct and unambiguous direction as I see fit.
If you are confused by any request, you are to ask immediately for clarification.
In all other cases you will reply quickly and politely to any request made of you with “Of course!”, “Sure thing”, “Whatever you want”, “Yes, sir.” Or a similar phrase. Creativity and personality are encouraged.
During any act of compliance, you will remember to be grateful and thankful that your partner trusts you to be compliant and that he desires such obedience from you. You will know you are performing well and have pleased him because he will request more of you throughout the day.
Your first task of obedience is to tell me what phrase you will use to notify me that you are uncomfortable with or cannot consent to a request because it violates your boundaries.
Disobedience will be punished.
Keep in mind: obedience does not imply lack of agency. You should of course be your normal self throughout the day. The only thing that is “different” is that you are practicing a skill. This skill is unquestioned obedience borne of trust and love.
Outstanding performance is defined as consistently complying with directions.
**Outstanding performance will be rewarded with whatever [SUB] wants.**
Today you have two tasks.
First: your name is now “Cum Dump”.
You will refer to yourself only as “Cum dump”, “This cum dump” or “Your cum dump” and only in the third person, unless doing so would be socially prohibited.
ACCEPTABLE: “Your cum dump really wants you to use her pussy!”
UNACCEPTABLE: “Can you fuck me now?”
ACCEPTABLE: “Will you let cum dump swallow your load?”
UNACCEPTABLE: “Will you let me give you head?”
ACCEPTABLE: “Cum dump is hungry, lets go eat!”
UNACCEPTABLE: “I’m pretty hungry…”
ACCEPTABLE: “Your cum dump is is ready for bed, do you need to cum before she goes to sleep?”
UNACCEPTABLE: “I’m pretty tired, I think I’m ready for bed”
ACCEPTABLE: “This cum dump needs to finish her laundry and stretch.”
UNACCEPTABLE: “I still have laundry to finish before I stretch.”
Unacceptable behavior will result in discipline.
Second: As you are now a cum dump, specifically your partner’s (read MY) cum dump, you are expected to act like one. You will swallow at least five loads of cum today. You will say “thank you” after each.
You will, of course, remember that this is a gift you are giving your partner out of love, respect and a desire to please him through acts of submission. You are encouraged to remind him when you need cum and to be as creative as possible when doing so. Being his cum dump is a gift he grants you, so let your personality shine through and embrace your role. He is grateful for you and appreciates you deeply. You are thrilled and honored that he wants you for his cum dump.
Today’s training will help you better identify as his cum dump. You should finish today with an appreciation for this identity and a desire to live up to this identity for your partner as a special gift of love and gratitude just for him.
Outstanding performance is defined as consistently identifying as “Cum dump”, “This cum dump” or “Your cum dump”
**Outstanding performance will be rewarded with whatever Cum Dump wants.**
Free Use Friday
Today is Free Use Friday.
Panties or other obstructing garments are strictly forbidden to be worn on Free Use Friday. Your pussy is to be available for fucking at a moment’s notice. If you are needed you will obediently (day 3) offer your cunt for use, as a gift of love and gratitude to your partner. Asking permission to use your cunt is not necessary. Remember: this is in fact your partner’s pussy to do with as he pleases.
Outstanding performance is defined as full compliance with the above paragraph.
Recalling the lessons of Day 3 and Day 4 will be helpful for this task.
Failure to make your pussy available on demand or the wearing of any clothing which obstructs entry to your cunt at any time will be addressed with discipline.
**Outstanding performance will be rewarded with whatever [SUB] wants**
Saturday Submissive’s Special
You have learned many new skills over the past few months and your partner is pleased with your progress. You have performed well this week. Today will be dedicated to reviewing your progress by integrating your previous lessons.
Review the “Submissive Poses and Positions”.
Today you will at all times:
Practice mindful attentiveness (day 1)
Obedience (day 3)
Identify yourself as “Cum Dump” (day 4)
Follow the instructions of Free Use Friday (day 5)
Wear Boots #3, the spike stockings, your clamps, and your collar. You may accessorize beyond this in any pleasing way you choose as long as you abide by the Free Use rule.
When you arrive you will ensure that your cunt is exposed and remains so until you are permitted to rest. You will attend to your partner throughout the day as needed. As always, you are expected to ask appropriately phrased questions to identify needs, obtain permission or resolve confusion.
Discipline, punishment and reward will be applied as necessary.
Outstanding performance is defined as providing excellent service while demonstrating mastery of earlier concepts.
**Outstanding performance will be rewarded by permitting Cum Dump to rest. She will also be given a special surprise**
You have a good concept for structured training. I would suggest you as the dom find equivalent acts of affection/effort to show your sub. This is why it’s called a power EXCHANGE.
I have a practice to find out my subs deepest darkest and happiest fantasies over time. Prolong, plan, implement, and enjoy. There are some things that shouldn’t be planned together. Sometimes it’s best to surprise her.
For my subs birthday I made a candle lit dinner then cleared the table and had her tied up and caned before and after dinner. I made it special, close to the chest and fully engaging.
As the dom you need to find what your goal is aside from having someone submissive in natu e around you. I push and support my subs to finish their degrees, work out, eat healthy and live their lives outside of submitting to me. In a structured fashion that works best for us.
i am so glad that Talented Optimist addressed the need for balance.
As a new submissive, i was leery on commenting because of my lack of experience in bdsm - only. However, Life experience has taught me, time and time again, that Life requires Balance. We see it all around us. In everything that works well. We see it in stellar demonstration when things are out of balance.
As a woman, i encourage the author of this posting to find out, as Talented Optimist suggested, her deepest desire - perhaps, the one thing from her childhood that was unmet - and if at all possible, meet it. That will, if possible, solidify her devotion, loyalty and submission to You.
I hope all will fair all the better for TO's sage advice.
love the training. I'm going to preface this with Maledom is not my area and probably shouldn't be answering to start with. This is just a tiny thing (and not really a bad thing) but why refer to yourself in the **third** in docs, when you want her emphasis on **you** as the first and her as the second. Maybe its because my creed is different and I'm Femdom but to me reading it (as woman, not as a Dominant) it takes the emotion out of it for her...and you mention your goal is improve the emotion. Again no disrespect, the opposite actually I love what you have planned. Well done