First play date location

First play date location

ellievillhakaptan • Jun 15, 2023

Newbie sub here...some BDSM-style play experiences (e.g , light bondage, wax, some ass play), but totally new to the lifestyle.

So...you've met someone you think would be a good Dom, training you properly and safely. You've been online, talked on the phone, vetted the Dom to the best of your ability. You've met in public, been negotiating...done all the things you should do.

You're about ready to schedule a first play date.

I've gotten together with vanilla partners in hotels a few times over the years...a necessity due to circumstances involving time and/or distance. The vibe was just never great...and that was with a person I already knew and cared about.

Are there safe places to play for a first time that aren't hotels/motels? Places where the atmosphere supports the intensity of a first encounter, rather than inhibits it?

Thanks for reading!

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Jun 15, 2023

If neither party can host and you want something where the atmosphere is more open. I would suggest looking into AirBnbs. They usually have great selection and can be competitively priced versus hotels.

Gives you a wide variety of location types as well to pick something that has what you consider to be the right vibe for a session

As a side note I personally make sure the AirBnb is in the subs name as I have found it to make them feel a bit more comfortable.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jun 15, 2023

Meet at a dungeon and hopefully you'll hit it off well enough for some public play. If not then you can go your seperate ways at the event and perhaps meet someone new

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Jun 15, 2023

Back of a van with no windows.

Particularly if it has a sign reading "Free Candy"

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jun 15, 2023

I think public play event or dungeon safer option for first play dates, but I would spend a lot of time getting to know someone first before you do move to that stage.

Have you vetted them, spoken to older play partners, got references, checked sex offenders register and have safe calls in place with a trusted friend who can send in the cavalry? Don’t ignore good safe practice.

DeepEmbrace​(dom female) • Jun 15, 2023

I think some of this depends on your risk tolerance, safety team/call setup, what kind of play is occurring, how much space you need, and if you require a certain setting (some do, some don't; I dont). For first time play, I have done everything from hotels, parks, cars, beaches, forests to my home or their home.

Re: First play date location

I'mME • Jun 16, 2023

Ellie,
Is this person your Dom, I wasn't clear on that after reading your post. They are training you? I may have read it wrong.

How long have ya'll been talking?

How many times have you met?

What are you negotiating about?

Notely • Jun 16, 2023

If you did all that, both still meet up at Coffee shop/Mall/Bookstore/Diner and have a meal or bring food and discuss things. I would say you both make a list of toys and tools that will be safe with safe words and after care what you both agree on, bring a copy of the list to the public. Have them bring a small bag with like 3 items like a feather and blind fold and cuffs they will give to you so you can see. Depending on how long they are staying, it might be good to go out and do things in public like go bowling , zoo , fair grounds so that you both can feel safe before play date. Before you play they lay out all the toys and tools they let you pick the items. That you both agree to use safe sane and consent to write on a piece of paper both of you write the date. That after care is a thing also. That any emergency give nunbers to your friends and family were you are staying check in with family and friends to know your safe have times when you call 2 times a day.
Things can use:
Hotel Luggage Cart and bound.
back of a chair and bound.

Notely • Jun 16, 2023

If you did all that, both still meet up at Coffee shop/Mall/Bookstore/Diner and have a meal or bring food and discuss things. I would say you both make a list of toys and tools that will be safe with safe words and after care what you both agree on, bring a copy of the list to the public. Have them bring a small bag with like 3 items like a feather and blind fold and cuffs they will give to you so you can see. Depending on how long they are staying, it might be good to go out and do things in public like go bowling , zoo , fair grounds so that you both can feel safe before play date. Before you play they lay out all the toys and tools they let you pick the items. That you both agree to use safe sane and consent to write on a piece of paper both of you write the date. That after care is a thing also. That any emergency gives numbers to your friends and family where you are staying, check in with family and friends to know your safety and have times when you call 2 times a day. Find a friend in the lifestyle you can trust nearby also or a friend you can trust that you bring along to your shared hotel room when it's time to play that you have the key to the room your Master is in but your friend can be on stay by. Also the Master and you can make a safe way to play that you have a key and how to get you out fast if you need to. If they can show you safety beforehand like that they can't hit on some places of your body and only do things that you like, take it slow. Training should be taken slow at first work up to it a sub needs to be aroused before play they need their tentacles teased so the body can take some things. That blind fold Ok use as long you can see a little to be safe they need to be able to see your face. That they use velcro cuffs so it's easy to get out of. They use each toy on you slowly, if not for you then they need to check that off they need to find what you like and don't like. Sub is pleased then they take a little pain , Breast with a cane after pleasing the sub kitty cat they take a little soft if they like it try little more harder work into it the breast first of pain. Once you start liking a little pain you may want your the butt caned a little on the pussy. A vibrator dolphin pearl why the sub has little passion of pain both , Put feather going up down the body even a rose letting the body be ready. Beforehand, Ben balls small dildos for an hour but you will need to douche first do some kegels. Suction on nipple , breast things and suction on the pussy will make it all sensitive. You will have muti orgasms and twitch. You can ask the front desk for morning check in call your room or knock at your door also just ask them.

Notely • Jun 16, 2023

When trust is build if you both need starter kid spencers in the mall look up a adult toy store that near by you both go in pick out tihngs. or local hardware store.