Not wanting to share my dom

Not wanting to share my dom

new sub slut • Jul 11, 2023

My Dom and I began in a monogamous relationship, I had only had vanilla relationships before but he has had subs in the past. When beginning the D/s side of the relationship he states he wants to share me and regularly sends me out to either give oral or to have sex with other men to be filmed for his pleasure, I enjoy this however have no desires to have sex with other men if it wasn’t for my Dom. I expressed I was not comfortable with him sleeping with other women and he said he was fine with that.

We have now got to a point in which he wants to have sex with other women, I agreed to try a threesome with another girl. However, it has now turned into my Dom meeting a potential unicorn by himself first before meeting us a couple.

Is it wrong if me not wanting to share him in a situation where I am not involved?

Little Mel​(sub female) • Jul 11, 2023

You aren't wrong to want a monogamous relationship with your Dom. He knew that because you communicated it. He keeps pushing that line.

Big nope. You expressed a limit. You tried it and communicated that it wasn't for you. That wasn't respected and isn't being respected. I call foul. Flag on the field. Time to discuss ending that dynamic because it's no longer doing either of you any good.

aradialspire​(dom femme) • Jul 11, 2023

No ma'am. I'm non-monogamous but if my sub/partner was monogamous that would be a hard limit I would have to accept. You cannot force non-monogamy on a monogamous person, and you can't go out and just "shop" for another partner without your sub's input.

This is not dom behavior. It is one thing for you to have an agreement where you perform with other partners for his pleasure from the start, but another for him to try and integrate another partner when you explicitly stated you did not want another female partner brought into the relationship.

There are other doms in the sea, ones that will respect your boundaries. If you bend on this one he will keep bending you until you break. Do not go down that road.

NatGoddess • Jul 11, 2023

As a Domme myself, I can tell you he is absouletly not respecting your boundaries. These kind of things must be discussed beforehand, and if someone changes their mind along the way it's ok too, we can all change our minds as time passes by, but he cannot force you into accepting what he wants from now on if it's something you don't want for you and your relationship dynamic.

Re: Not wanting to share my dom

nevaeh​(sub female){No} • Jul 11, 2023

nevaeh​(sub female){No} • Jul 11, 2023

No! You stated your feelings from the start. This type of thing happened to me and my ex. He constantly pushed me on several things that were hard No. I would give in at times in tears. This didn't seem to bother him at all. Then he would come to me and tell me that he had spoken to a friend and that we were in the shallow end of this lifestyle. I now know that was just manipulation on his part. He would make me feel like I was bad and I became very down on myself for not making my Dom satisfied. I even became suicidal a few times and I finally saw he was happier when I was in tears actually throwing up from crying so hard. He always wanted to punish me and actually would say darn I was hoping you had been bad, so I could punish you. Not ever a reward for being good. I don't know exactly when the shift came because it was so gradual. Stay firm now sweetie. Be true to YOU.

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Jul 11, 2023

This is a red flag on his part. It sounds alot like him pushing put to go do stuff to other men as a way to justify meeting other women. I'd sit down with him and have a serious talk. These situations left untreated never end well.
My former partner did something similar to me. We opened up the relationship and he was meeting women and I was meeting men. I was completely okay with him fucking other women, but any time I told him I was meeting other men, he got weird about it. We just ended our too year relationship for other reasons, but he liked throwing it out that I would frequently go out with other men, even though he was originally fine with it

Miki • Jul 12, 2023

Not wrong.

You communicated monogamy from Jump. And as for "loaning you out"-- that needs to be be something you're into in order to work. If not, making yourself do something you do not like just to give him a woody---- That has near-zero prospects for success. You'll end up miserable and resentful and that jerk will end up feeling free to get his knob polished by women other than you.

Now, first, I can only go on the information provided. I have no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of your situation so "what I would do" is simply that; what I would do.

....And that is to tell that joker to go piss up a rope while you go find someone else. It seems he thinks that now that you're in a dynamic, as a dominant he can disregard what was discussed in the beginning and "make" you do whatever he wants. That shit don't flush.

Sure, there are some subs who enjoy domination at that level, and there's nothing wrong with that. To each their own..

But in your case, the writing is on the shithouse wall.

Unless he re-evaluates his approach and respects your boundaries, this relationshi does not have a promising future.

The best thing to do is to get said relationship in the Rear-View sooner rather than later.

DoseofCam​(sub female){Owned} • Jul 12, 2023

Not wrong, you communicated your boundaries and he has been pushing it.

Red Flag!

Doms should always respect their subs boundaries
If he doesn’t he ain’t the one.

Sorry this is happening it sucks having the person you love/care for not respect you.
Especially your Dom diff kind of betrayal I feel like.

You got this! Like @neveah said! Be true to YOU

LordofPain56 • Jul 13, 2023

OMG, do you realize what he did? First he sends you out to meet up with other men, then he tells you he wants other women so that if you complain, he can say "yeah, but you have been seeing other men". Duh, at his direction only. Now that is an evil manipulation.
That's just wrong. I'd bail out on this thing immediately, now that you know how he operates.