Online chastity, what’s in it for the dom?

Online chastity, what’s in it for the dom?

Foop​(sub male) • Aug 4, 2023

I have an online friend where there is a femdom dynamic that we live out from time to time. Among other things, I am sometimes in chastity and do not unlock myself until she allows it. I like it, but I always wonder what she really gets out of it.

I have asked her if she does it just to please my kinks. She says she doesn't, but still that thought remains and gnaws at me. What do the dom actually get out of online chastity play? If anyone has anything to say in the matter, please feel free to help me with some input.

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2023

As a male, I can't speak for a lady. I will do my best to elucidate my own perspective though.

"Chastity" in its brief or long forms is very useful. Certainly for some it is an outright kink, the idea of someone holding their urges and need back, potentially writhing in place as they deal with pent up sensations. Certainly its also appealing if in those desperate moments that person is thinking about you, the Dom. The idea of someone reserving themselves for you, thinking of you in depths of their need, and being ready for you...its incentivizing. Certainly there are subs who enjoy similar ideas but from the reverse side of the coin.

However, by itself chastity has utility. It certainly can be used as a punishment as many subs do not like such play options being removed. However a sub can also be put in chastity as a measure of or practice of their commitment to following the Dom's word. In can serve as a mental and physical reminder of who has power over the sub, linking the concepts of a Dom's displeasure with bad and approval with good.

Sexually it can keep a sub ready and "On demand" so to speak. For example for some ladies I have had relations with over extended distances...I might rile them up thoroughly through conversation and then "lock them" for a few days or a week before I see them in person. When we meet the ladies are more than eager to progress things past conversation and can actually have a much more enjoyable time as they burn off their tensions frustrations in one or several rapid fire sessions. In person meetings aside, this manipulation of need can focus a sub's thoughts consistently on the Dominant leading to greater dependency and reliance. Indeed I get far more messages from a girl in chastity than I do otherwise for obvious reasons, and while I haven't made a statistical study of it, the effect persists even after release.

I am certain more experienced members of the community will be be able to guide you better, but this is my pen to paper to begin the discussion.

House Talion​(dom male) • Aug 5, 2023

The idealistics of increased power and control over another. Though a common trait of an ubber-domþme it's also a common fetish for anyone who usually has no control over any other aspect of their lives, so having power over any other makes them feel better.

Miki​(masochist female) • Aug 6, 2023

As Tallon wrote.. power and so forth.. But for me Online kink just doesn't cut it. In the case of non-chastity online play-- it's glorified masturbation. I get off better simply rubbing a couple off in the mirror.

As for online chastity orders.. I would not wonder "What does Dom get out of it?" Rather, "Does Dom really trust and believe that much in someone they are not near, cannot see 24/7 and can just as easily unlock the shit as soon as the fucking webcam is shut off?"

That's just how I am wired anyway.... I have a hard time following orders from anyone, except on the job of course, but that's all related to my chosen work. It's a career position not a McJob

-- but part of the reason I never was or will be a "sub" is I don't follow orders, or worse, I indicate that so-and-so can just kiss my ass.

Hardly the foundation for a meaningful dynamic.

So I'm content to be a sexual maso-girl-- a mere "kinkster"

--------------------------

Come and Play, Cum and Go Away.

redgater • Aug 7, 2023

I am in a cock cage now. Hope she likes it,and me

LordofPain56 • Aug 8, 2023

I would guess there must be something "in it" for her or she would not order it, right? Or maybe not. Maybe shes a psychopath it's all about controlling you. Can't you just come right out and ask her how she gets off on that?

redgater • Aug 8, 2023

I enjoy wearing my cage, and it helps me to control my urge to master bait and keep save it for her . I will cum when she let's me.

Lady Kat​(dom female) • Aug 8, 2023

Part of the appeal is the power, knowing one’s sub is obeying such a command? To deny themselves because you wish it? It’s a very heady concept. For some it’s the pleasure of being obeyed, the feeling of control over another being even from a distance.

For others it’s the prospect of anticipation, knowing the mind is constantly coming back to the denied stimulation? Knowing when that denial is ended the euphoria that follows will surpass any regular orgasm. For some that’s as good or better than any physical interaction.
Then for some it’s the possibility of the sub breaking that chastity, and the punishment dreamed up to follow, carried out by the submissive’s own hand at the instruction of their Dom. Whether it’s some humiliating task, or physical punishment, these can also be oh so satisfying for a dominant. Some subs crave the punishment side as well, though I sincerely hope that’s something they’ve discussed with their dom beforehand as in an online dynamic communication is even more important for a satisfactory experience on both sides.

On the personal side of things, I’d never even think of chastity with an online sub without a clear conversation beforehand. If that’s the sub’s specific kink great but it’s not going to diminish my enjoyment. A good dom isn’t a kink dispenser after all, we tend to enjoy our part in what we orchestrate for our subs. At least I do.

Sasa​(dom female) • Aug 8, 2023

I don't or assume what other like or think, but for me: nothing, absolutely nothing! The reason is easy to understand if you understand your chemical reaction to chastity. I want to see it and enjoy it WITH a person near me. I mean online is like instant food anyway. And long-time chastity is something I personally don't want at all. I enjoy that everything is working as I expect it. If you have your orgasm after a longer time you have such a fall into a lack of dopamine that you feel confused or sad for as long as it takes to reach a normal level. Nothing I need and of course nothing you would enjoy.

SayYesMaam​(dom female) • Aug 18, 2023

Absolutely nothing!