autisticbarbie
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8 months ago •
Aug 20, 2023
Re: Overwhelmed
Hi Snowangel - I hope this experience didn't scare you off. There are nice guys here, but also a lot of low-level predators who try to manipulate and harass new folks. When you log on, you will have hundreds of messages and when you try to read them, your inbox will keep beeping. I had to deactivate my profile a few times to just read messages. It slows down after awhile and becomes more manageable. And please ignore the person who said you posted pics of your boobs so expect it. When I first joined, I had no pics of myself and took a couple of selfies with no makeup on and a sweater four sizes too big and got hit with the same fury.
Snowangell wrote: Does anyone else get overwhelmed when getting many messages. I keep getting a lot of interested doms, which is so flattering and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I’m feeling overwhelmed and unsure of who I want to proceed with, so I just don’t with any cause it’s so much. I also know I’m a people pleaser and don’t like to let anyone down. So that adds to the overwhelming feeling.
Anyone else experience this? Any advice of how you learned to deal with it? |
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IowaDom(dom male)
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8 months ago •
Aug 21, 2023
Ya know, the cage can be a wonderful experience. So many facets, so many people of all walks of life (and kink), so much to offer! In fact, when you first sign up you feel like a baby bunny (no offense Bunny!) who fell head first into a carrot vat. Amazements and bewilderments abounded! Friendships fall from the skies like snowflakes... But... after a time, some longer than others, you are struck by the fact that while it is many things, a dating site it is not. Doesn't mean you can't find love or a dynamic here, just really isn't designed for it to be so.
Now women being women, they have always held the upper hand in courting of any nature. They are generally more the pursued than the pursuee and all they have to do is usually show up to get attention, and showing up on a kink site, be it right or wrong, is showing up with your own personal spotlight on ya. Add some sexy photos, and now you have a spotlight AND a marching band. Be it right or wrong, it is what it is (and whoever tossed those labels at Miki needs to get to know people before tossing labels or judgements, the lady is a class act, top notch all around, you could travel the world and not find her match imho) . I am NOT justifying how some react to that stuff, we all remain responsible for our own actions! No we can shake fingers, fists, scream, holler, bitch and moan about people flooding ladies inboxes, but it will not stop. My advice to the ladies is forget the inbox, delete em all if you don't know em. And if you are shopping for a mate, read the blogs, forums, interact, and if you feel a spark of interest, reach out with your heart and read their other posts or blogs, and if you still want to know em, reach out to them and let them know! I cannot tell you just how many months ago I made the decision to no longer contact ladies first. Not arrogance mind you, but I have no need, want, or desire to be casting my hat into the feeding frenzy and competing for attention. Jut as it works in life, at some point, be it here or RL, I will most likely randomly encounter her, and I pray we are both wise enough to see what it may become. Until then, it's me a Neil Diamond .. Solitary man. (And if you don't know that song .. strong stuff ! google it!) |
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LordofPain56
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8 months ago •
Aug 21, 2023
Re: Overwhelmed Snowangell wrote: Does anyone else get overwhelmed when getting many messages?
My profile here is pretty basic and you'd have to be a total masochist or at least very curious to respond to it (which has happened only rarely). So, I'm not surprised. On the other hand, I had a much more detailed profile on a different site years ago that never garnered any interest at all. I'm not saying your profile might have too much information, but I think I might have scared some people away with my old one. |
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Sweet Ginger(sub female){⚓ }
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8 months ago •
Aug 21, 2023
When I receive messages from someone, I read their profile, if they have blogs and or forum comments, I read those to. If I get a good vibe from what I've read, then I respond back. I also respond back if they took the time to read my profile/blogs, effort is always appreciated and shows an interest other than which sub will respond back the soonest..No one is obligated to respond to ever message especially rude messages. This is just how I respond to messages. I'm sure in time, you'll figure out what works best for you!
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Celestial Luna(sub female)
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8 months ago •
Aug 29, 2023
Re: Overwhelmed Snowangell wrote: Does anyone else get overwhelmed when getting many messages. I keep getting a lot of interested doms, which is so flattering and I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I’m feeling overwhelmed and unsure of who I want to proceed with, so I just don’t with any cause it’s so much. I also know I’m a people pleaser and don’t like to let anyone down. So that adds to the overwhelming feeling.
Anyone else experience this? Any advice of how you learned to deal with it? Omg! I right there with you! Messages and all want a timely response and the questions are repetitive. Yet some don't give any information or photos, but ask consistently. I'm so glad you asked this question. Seriously! Being a newbie it has been so overwhelming. Now I'm learning about fake Doms...wth! Great not only was I worried about any connection, now, I have to worry about something that I'm still learning. I don't even know how to vet a fake Dom. Also overwhelming because I have not stuck with my boundaries because of excitement and then become disappointed with myself. Anyway! Great question! |
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Celestial Luna(sub female)
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8 months ago •
Aug 29, 2023
Re: Overwhelmed EdenS wrote: It might feel rude, but better not to reply to anyone who doesn't really interest you. Ignore messages that no effort was put into in the first place. Trying to reply to anyone who says, "Hey, what's up?" will waste your time. Ignore people who have a blank profile or an angry profile that focuses on how "fake" all the females are here. You don't need to deal with that. That's my humble advice. Good luck!
This was much appreciated and helpful actually! This will decrease my angst. |
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Celestial Luna(sub female)
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8 months ago •
Aug 29, 2023
Re: Overwhelmed EdenS wrote: It might feel rude, but better not to reply to anyone who doesn't really interest you. Ignore messages that no effort was put into in the first place. Trying to reply to anyone who says, "Hey, what's up?" will waste your time. Ignore people who have a blank profile or an angry profile that focuses on how "fake" all the females are here. You don't need to deal with that. That's my humble advice. Good luck!
Thank you for this answer. This makes sense and I will also start doing this...it'll decrease the angst. |
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Celestial Luna(sub female)
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8 months ago •
Aug 29, 2023
Coach Me Up wrote: I can relate to feeling overwhelmed (to an extent where it gets numbing to ‘think straight’ on who you seek). Realising this has always worked for me. Hope it helps:
This is perfect and helpful. |
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TwoRingsOneChain
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7 months ago •
Sep 6, 2023
SnowAngel, if I might say, try using a picture that shows your body but not your face directly. There are too many whack jobs out there and they take advantage of pictures, not just body parts but face pictures.
As for the overwhelming mail, don't be afraid to tell those sending messages that you're talking to other people. The relationship is based on honesty in the first place. And it would be silly for any dominant to think that you are not getting messages from a whole lot of other people As someone else said earlier pull back for a bit relax and breathe. There are a lot more men on the line than there are women typically, plus you have to deal with all the whack jobs. No disrespect to the whack jobs LOL. In all it's just a ability that you'll have to learn to do, the one thing that dominants hate the most. Your ability to say "no" ! Being a submissive, does not mean you're a weak person. It does not mean you're not intelligent, it does not mean that you cannot say no. In fact I would probably say, to the Chagrin of some dominant people, that being a really good submissive is someone that is strong, is intelligent and can say their mind, in a polite manner. I hope this helps you. Feel free to either post here, or send me a message. I'll be happy to be your friend. Sincerely, Two Rings |
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