A call to: Alpha Female Subs

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Aug 26, 2023

I've been around a while. I have to tell you that anyone who bangs on about being alpha, dominant or submissive, is generally a bit of a dick.

I'mME • Aug 26, 2023

Sincorrigible,

LMAO.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned} • Aug 26, 2023

I’m a sigma, I don’t care about any of this.

On a serious note, I personally feel like rolling my eyes when I hear someone call themselves an alpha submissive with the definition in mind of this meaning they’re somehow set apart as being more strong or capable than others, and this somehow makes them more of a prize. It’s my general opinion that if you have to slap a tag on yourself that tells everyone how this or that you are then chances are you aren’t actually this or that because you’re telling and not demonstrating.

Funny enough, I actually am intended to be my Master’s alpha slave. We aren’t ready to bring another into our dynamic likely for years but we’ve already established that hierarchy for when the time does come. Due to this bastardized version of the term alpha I prefer 1st slave if I must use a term but I don’t mention it often because we aren’t there yet.

One Rookie Cookie • Aug 26, 2023

It's interesting to read all of the responses.

It seems, by accident, I stirred the pot

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Aug 26, 2023

You will find as many opinions as there are kink folk.

When you start out, it's easy to be swayed by those who shout the loudest and longest. Those who beat their chests and tell you there is a right way to behave. Those who somehow shortcut to creating a sensation or desire in you, the quick and dirty way. Those tend to be the ones who bleat alpha at you. And they may also play on your stating that you believe yourself to be alpha. They may attempt to hook you in, because, after all, aren't you both better than everyone else? Smarter, stronger, more successful in life, people look up to you, etc etc etc...

My advice, hard earned from my introduction to this filthy world : take time to breathe and listen to the character unfolding before you. You only get to see what someone is really like as a person, after some time interacting. Bad idea to be wowed by their initial Tarzan call.

Kind of off topic, given you were asking about alpha subs, but I would imagine the same applies in reverse.

TwoRingsOneChain • Aug 27, 2023

I really have to agree with djinni, saying that the "alpha female sub" is the one who leads in the poly house dynamic. But not the person who in the world has an alpha style life, say a team supervisor.

The leadership qualities are already a part of that persons life. But the true strength from within the sub comes from surrendering themselve to thier Dom.

Celestial Luna​(sub female) • Aug 28, 2023

[quote="Sincorrigible" You will find as many opinions as there are kink folk.[/quote]

Thank you for this response. It definitely is helpful for newcomers, such as myself. Not labeling and building your own way naturally.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Aug 28, 2023

@Celestial Luna

When you dip a toe in bdsm/Ds waters, as a submissive female, whether online or real life, it is a feeding frenzy of men waiting to pounce.

And waiting to tell you the way to do/be/think/act.

My advice to anyone new: IGNORE. WAIT. (you can be courteous doing so)

You've more than likely just discovered something that explains your imaginings, your feelings, your fantasies of many years.

But, you are you. And you can trust yourself to be you, and you can trust your gut.

This world doesn't come with a different set of values. You don't change who and how you are.

What may change over time is how you act and behave. And yes, think, as you grow and experience.

But, please, take everything you see now with a pinch of salt. You may well get rejected and 'told off' by men who tell you 'you aren't submissive' if you don't agree with them/obey them. It's complete crap.

If something doesn't sit well with you, that is okay.

I never felt the need to seek out fellow submissives to talk to. But I know that can help. Be very very very suspicious of any dominant offering to take you under their wing/protect/mentor /train you. There is always (in my experience) a hidden agenda. It is a masquerade.

But yes, my opinion is just one. Read and read and find people who you feel speak to you. All the others can be relegated to the soundproof room at the back. (occasionally good to open the door a fraction, listen to them bleat, and reaffirm that they're talking bollocks)

Celestial Luna​(sub female) • Aug 28, 2023

@sincorrigible

What you wrote was beautiful. It completely resonated with me. Love the logic in what you wrote since I'm an INTJ.

I have definitely learned already the effort that some Doms, or actually lack of effort, provide while wanting everything from a sub. As if I should be providing every piece of information to them because I'm labeled a submissive. Ummm...no. There is no give and take. Wanting more photos when they have not provided or have any on their profile. Or their lack of profile...I read profiles people! No effort, just laziness.

It's quite frustrating. I continue to thank them for whatever message they send and ask them to move on nicely. Some just do not get the hint.

Also frustrated with the generic questions, to the point that I copy and paste from my previous answers to the exact same question a million times already. Yet very few want to take the time to answer.

Lastly the lack of time placed by these so called Doms into their messages or responses are nil. One word yet they ask for more. Just take. One even asked his question in the subject heading...huh?

Put the effort in if you want it in return. I'm still a newbie, but I'm a quick learner. Still, some Doms are good at hiding their true intentions, and thats what I fear. I know this is not just Doms. Subs may do this too.

So, I appreciate the advice and the information you provided.

Wow that was a venting session. I may have to copyright this answer since it's so long.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Aug 28, 2023

Smile. And a big hug.

They aren't dominants, a lot of them. They're after a bit of kink. A woman who'll 'yes Sir' them immediately, a woman who'll send pics. A woman who'll agree to be theirs, wank on command, webcam etc...

You'll know when it's right. When it's real.

More importantly, you'll know when it's wrong.

Sounds to me like you're doing just fine.

And believe me I understand the need to rant.