For True Love

For True Love

Mastermattvl​(dom male) • Aug 27, 2023

I can’t relocate because of my mom and grandparents living so close. And needing my help so much. Would you relocate for the right partner?

Miki • Aug 27, 2023

Looks like a case of "Hobson's Choice" for you. I'm sorry about that.

(Meaning you don't really have a choice at all) ... Unsolicited advice: Don't put yourself in a position to have to make that choice. it sucks the literary bag.

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My perspective is exceedingly limited in that, all my life, I have never been capable of having high-emo relationships. In light of that fact, take my response with a grain of salt ---- Your Results May Vary:

Lovers come and go. Family is forever. I'd never leave for any partner, let alone a so-called "right" one.. Not ever.
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But setting the familial aspect aside, for me the answer would still be "No".

I will never give up my career, my achievements, and most importantly my independance to relocate for anyone.


Think about it... Once you arrive there, you're dependent on that partner, having given up everything to relocate.

I will never "depend" on anyone, ever. For me, no one on Earth is worth such a risk. If I want to gamble my life away I'd book a trip to Vegas.

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Again "That's Just Me"

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Aug 27, 2023

I've paid to move a slave to me, but not sure I would do so again.

But no, I currently would not move to someone else. Much like you, family to take care of. Though I do know of Dom/mes and M types who have moved to be with thier property.

Steellover​(sub male) • Aug 28, 2023

To give up everything you know- family, job, career, friends, and the life you made for yourself, for sake of a partner is a lot to ask, no matter how perfect the partner is.
Because, it's just like starting over. New job, relationships, home, EVERYTHING. And you will be socially isolated since, besides your partner, who else do you have?
But more importantly, what if your relationship ends? Hate to sound unromantic, but if for some reason it doesn't work out- there you are, in a strange city, with nothing.

Notely • Aug 28, 2023

Just sharing a thought nothing more.I I could never go down that road again I took care of people and close to family many are gone I did my part moved away happy were am in life the way it is. But had to take care my grandmother my sister took turns then my sister moved in with her boyfriend but grandmother was getting old she had to go to a home she was having trouble breathing. But back then that what people use to do many people do live together because cost a lot. You have to think what best for you also.

Well it takes a special kind someone will take for who you have what family you have will be someone out there for you they may only have themself they want to be around family like you got. First get to know them and try to see where it can go. I mean if family members get to the point they can not take care themself the insurance should pay for someone to help them or have caretaker I know that their place called a place for mom probably only the safest finding a Retirement com-minty were they still be happy you can go visit them. It can take 2 and a half years to truly get to know someone. Love is not the first thing you need to make sure on the same level with feelings your family will want to meet them too. Wish you the very best.

Bunnie • Aug 28, 2023

I would, yes. I’ve moved and started over from scratch a few times simply because I am a traveller and have found different places that felt like home. My career choices are ones I can do anywhere, and I stay in contact with my family about the same amount whether I’m just down the street or on the other side of Australia. Perhaps having that experience already, allows for it to not seem so daunting. Having said that, it would depend a lot on the person and situation… re-locating within Australia is one thing, re-locating to another country is another thing, and entering into an entirely different culture and way of life is entirely it’s own thing again.

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 28, 2023

It's a question if certainty.

As people, like Miki, have pointed out family comes first. Mom, Dad, siblings, Grandparents and such.

But think on and of yourself. Who will be your family? Who will be your significant other? Assuming you want them, who will raise kids with you?

So ask yourself how certain you are this person is the right one. It's okay to have doubts, they exist in every relationship, but check if you passions have been habit in the past, if you've had the conversations that might indicate a healthy future together.

I would say never give up on your family, but this question you've posed is phrased as an ultimatum, one or the other. At the end of the day I'd say we all have to fly the coop sometime, and we all deserve someone to grow old with.

Good luck Sir, I apologize you are faced with this agonizing choice.

derekderek​(dom male) • Aug 28, 2023

I'm pretty much in the same boat as i look after elderly family members and its a great strain when it comes to real life relationships but i don't think i could walk out on family and move for anyone.

For me at the moment an online sub or a sub that lives near me on a casual basis would have to be the best option for me until my circumstances change.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Aug 28, 2023

BLUF: Certainly . . . for the right reason.

It quite literally depends upon many factors . . . but what constitutes the right partner?

I would never forsake family and dear friends for a new partner or friend or anything (you shouldn't have to chose one over the other) . . . however, what sort of help do you need to provide to your mother and grandparents and how long is it expected to last? (You don't have to answer, more a question for you to consider)

At your age, if you are waiting for the day to come where they don't "need your help" you might be waiting a few decades and your life will pass you by. Is that what they would want? At a certain point, you must live your life. Which doesn't mean dropping those who have given you life and raised you. But how do your mother and grandparents feel about your decision and do they really need you to stick around?

I mean . . . I wouldn't tell your mother you are considering running off to join a submissive in a BDSM lifestyle to find your true calling as a Dominant Masochist . . . unless that's how you and your family communicate . . . however, if you find someone who you do connect with and the two of you communicate well and it has potential, you shouldn't remove the option of relocating (either you joining her or she joining you).

Little Vixie​(sub female){Mgh30} • Aug 28, 2023

I moved in with my dom, but only because of a job opportunity.
I have way too many trust issues to willing relocated for a Dom without meeting all my boxes.
This would include:
Need to meet in person multiple times.
Need to feel comfortable enough to trust them.
Need to have the understanding that I do not do TPE and I am not a service sub.
Need to understand I will not pay 100% of everything and I do not want 100% paid for me.
I would be allowed to work and the money I make is mine. No financial control.

There is so much trust that goes into this. I trust my dom with my life, but I've had a dom beg me to move in with him and marry him on paper when I was 18. After thinking about it, he gave off several red flags and I learned from the possibly life changing event.