New Sub

aPeepingMom(sub female)

7 months ago • Sep 12, 2023

I agree with what others have said, and my biggest piece of advice is to take your time.

I’ve been talking to my Dom for nine months. We talked online and on the phone for six weeks before I met him in person. We have seen each other every 4-6 weeks since then and have talked about collaring many, many times. But it is important that we are both on the same page before I wear his (physical) collar, and not one moment before.

Big hugs to you.

Little Vixie(sub female){Mgh30}

7 months ago • Sep 12, 2023

As someone who almost feel into a similar trap, he is giving red flags.
I had a dom that I never met before in person. This dom knew I was in a bad spot mentally and spent months pushing and trying to convince me to marry him. Wanted me to belong to him and only him. I had not met him at this point. Ended up cutting it off when I went to boot camp. After I got out, we got back in touch. He had a sub, but pushed for me to not be fucking anyone else. Could not stand that I was talking to other men, but he wanted to keep his sub. He tried to get me to come to him at one point to meet for the first time. He wanted to take me to a formal dinner and when I was discussing getting a tattoo before this he freaked. Told me the placement was tacky and gross. That he didn't want to be seen with me if I had in placed on my right collar bone. All because the dress he wanted me in was a spaghetti strap. He told me that if I got it that we were over. I told him I was done. He got mad that I picked a tattoo over him.
He found me a couple years later and I told him off the bat, no expectation of sex or more. He insisted that he was the only one that could make me feel good. I ended up telling him that he was never to contact me again.

If it doesn't feel good, then don't stay. It sounds like this "dom" just wanted to take that control from you. 2 weeks isn't enough time to make that determination.

autisticbarbie

7 months ago • Sep 12, 2023

A similar thing happened to me too when I first started. It's common and it's sort of a live and learn thing. My recommendation is to spend time thinking about how you want things to go with this in the future and have a talk with him. If you are not OK with his vision, drop him and move on. Some of these guys will try to totally take away your consent and manipulate, shame, or call you 'fake' when you enforce a boundary or discuss limits. Not saying he is a fake dom, but there are a lot of fake online doms unfortunately.

Sub Baby Love wrote:

Yea I think I just messed up and tried trusting too soon. I keep getting lessons on this new dynamic. All the time.
I am trying to not just trust people so easily. He said he loved me after being collared. Which seems more like a kink to me than the real thing. Idk

Bunnie	Bunnie 7 months ago • Sep 13, 2023 7 months ago • Sep 13, 2023 Bunnie • Sep 13, 2023 What do you feel is missing?

TwoRingsOneChain

7 months ago • Sep 13, 2023

Purĕ wrote:

Listen sweet Girl,....
as a fellow sub, I know how You feel.
The first days, weeks,....everything always feels good.
We feel wanted. We get drawn in because they use our cravings to mold us,... they use the righr words. and all we want is exactly that feeling.

But, speak up.
We have Rights too.

As rough as it sounds,
You have nothing to lose.

Ask him for a call. Tell him how You feel. Tell him that you should feel like a million dollars due to freshly collard in this exciting new world for You but instead you feel empty and unhappy.

If he won't change just give him his collar back.

A Doms role is to make sure You are happy. at least in my eyes. No matter as what Dom a dom labels himself. He has to take care his sub feels happy and is fulfilled.

If my Dom wouldn't message me over daytime, well, he wouldn't be my dom after a handful of days. because it would be a sign for me that he doesn't care.

Exactly

LordofPain56	LordofPain56 7 months ago • Sep 13, 2023 7 months ago • Sep 13, 2023 LordofPain56 • Sep 13, 2023 You mentioned long distance, and then you mentioned somethings missing. Haven't you answered your own question???

I'mME

7 months ago • Sep 17, 2023

Sub Baby Love wrote:

Sub Baby Love,
How can this person give you lessons? How do they know what lessons you need? Is this a punishment dynamic? What's his address? Have you seen his driver's license?

What does he do for a living? How long has he been doing it? Has he ever been married? Any children?

You gave him a list of your limits? He gave you his?
What do you actually know about someone in 2 weeks?

I'mME

7 months ago • Sep 17, 2023

Re: New Sub

7 months ago • Sep 17, 2023

Sub Baby Love wrote:

Hi, I am new to the actual dynamic but I recently was collared and feel a little off. We talked for like 2 weeks and then met. Long distance. He collared me one of the nights I was there. And for some reason I feel kind of empty. He doesn’t text me during the day unless I text him and doesn’t really seem interested in getting to know me. He says I’m not to date anymore. After collar. Which I understand. Things just seem too easy. And fast. I love the fact that I’m owned. Makes me happy Good Girl. And everyone’s preference is different. I just feel like I’m missing something. Anyone know what I’m talking about?

SUB Baby Love,

Why are you not to be taken on a date anymore?
You replied, "I know!"

What do you know? How do you know this? I've never heard this?