insubordinate(sub male)
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7 months ago •
Sep 28, 2023
Seeking Greater Understanding...
as a submissive male, i believe i understand what makes me tick and what i seek to give to a Dominant Female in a bdsm relationship and where i derive pleasure from bdsm.
what i am wondering about is - what makes a Dominant Female tick? what does She seek , deep down, from her submissive? i realize that there will be a whole range of answers but since 'communication is the problem to the answer' i thought it would be fun, educational and informative to kick off this topic. there is always something that W/we can all learn and perhaps W/we can see how to please our Dominant better.... cheers, innie |
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Online now
Sincorrigible(sub female)
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7 months ago •
Sep 28, 2023
Commitment, trust, respect, affection.
The thrill of someone obeying and ceding to your will. Sexual gratification and desire to please, to learn how to serve sexually on her terms. Obedience, adventure, service. The thrill of discovery of a new mind and body to learn and enjoy. |
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insubordinate(sub male)
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7 months ago •
Sep 29, 2023
Interesting. Commitment, trust, respect, affection - the solid bedrock of any relationship, bdsm or not. I would think that this resonates very strongly in all relationships - perhaps stronger in a bdsm relationship due to the greater degree of trust and degree of reliance that you place in your partner as compared to a vanilla one, but maybe not always.
But the thrill of someone obeying and ceding to your will...that is definitely a distinguishing characteristic of a bdsm relationship to a vanilla one. I can totally understand that thrill felt by the Dominant as i feel a similar thrill in obeying a Dominant and ceding to Her will. More than just a thrill - it is stronger than that - it is the fulfillment of a dream, a desire to be Hers and to please Her and literally *feel* the pleasure (and ache) in serving Her as She wishes... Sexual gratification as She wishes to be pleased. Ahhh down the rabbit hole we go~! So many women are so passive with regard to their sexual pleasure - that to find a Dominant who is direct, vocal and deliberate on how the submissive should please Her is a breath of fresh air. That matches the submissive's need and desire to hear what the Dominant wishes and needs...how exactly to please Her...how to bend to Her will and feel the rush of meeting or exceeding Her desires to be pleasured...how to serve Her sexually on Her terms! Exactly! Obedience, adventure, service - now You start in on a wider perspective, i would state. You are now in the long game where the Dominant and the submissive move through the path of life together...one obedient and attentive to Her needs as he derives intense pleasure from anticipating and meeting those needs...adventure as life will throw all sorts of situations and experiences at You both - and coming together as Dominant and submissive means meeting those situations and experiences in a common or shared perspective in thought and action - one that reinforces the dynamic between the two and deepens their relationship. Finally the thrill of discovery of a new mind and body to learn and enjoy. Exactly! learning how to anticipate, how to give, how to learn and grow and most of all, how to enjoy E/each other's mind and body....and derive pleasure from each's part in the dance. Thank You Sincorrigible! Many thanks! |
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House Talion(dom male)
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7 months ago •
Sep 29, 2023
I'd say a good Dom/me of any gender would want the same things as the rest of us where as the ubber-dom/mes want nothing but to control and dominate the world as is seen by their summaries
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tallslenderguy(other male)
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7 months ago •
Sep 29, 2023
House Talion wrote: I'd say a good Dom/me of any gender would want the same things as the rest of us where as the ubber-dom/mes want nothing but to control and dominate the world as is seen by their summaries
i appreciate the distinction. i look at people like Putin, Xi Jinping, etc., as what you term "uber-dom/mes." But i personally would not distinguish them with the title "Dom/me." The difference being they are willing to exercise control that disregards the volition of those they control. To me, that comes off as inept and weak, not strong or what i perceive as 'real' domination. To me, what they have is forced capitulation, not given submission. To me, the really powerful bonds of D/s are symbiotic. |
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Sololoquy
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7 months ago •
Oct 4, 2023
tallslenderguy wrote: To me, what they have is forced capitulation, not given submission. To me, the really powerful bonds of D/s are symbiotic.
I like how you put this, and I agree. I'm in a place where I'm trying to seek understanding of my own D/s tendencies and regardless of the form that takes, the underlying foundation is one of mutual benefit, that it's something that works for and with each other. |
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| Tremulous |
7 months ago •
Oct 4, 2023
tallslenderguy wrote: House Talion wrote: I'd say a good Dom/me of any gender would want the same things as the rest of us where as the ubber-dom/mes want nothing but to control and dominate the world as is seen by their summaries
i appreciate the distinction. i look at people like Putin, Xi Jinping, etc., as what you term "uber-dom/mes." But i personally would not distinguish them with the title "Dom/me." The difference being they are willing to exercise control that disregards the volition of those they control. To me, that comes off as inept and weak, not strong or what i perceive as 'real' domination. To me, what they have is forced capitulation, not given submission. To me, the really powerful bonds of D/s are symbiotic. I agree wholeheartedly. Anyone can steal or demand from others. To be given something willingly is not only more impactful but is also more respectable and more rewarding. Most of us have stolen something when we were growing up, for instance candy or toys. However they never taste as good or are as rewarding to play with or display as those things that were given to us willingly or that we paid for with money given to us or earned though doing work. |
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