Meeting people in London

Meeting people in London

Ludovicus IX • Nov 24, 2023

My apologies if this is the wrong place to ask this.
I'm living in London as a student and I was wondering if anyone here knew the best places / ways to meet new people interested in BDSM.
I'm relatively unclear as the internet is full of scams and I can't bring myself to hold too much trust in anything I read.

Miki • Nov 24, 2023

Tough call. Best is to go out and about and meet people. You could also look up where to find munches, if any, in that area. Those are where you'd find where to meet people who are like-minded as opposed to rolling the dice and hoping to find a twisted friend among the masses.

You could also try the Personals, but if I were inclined to meet people to start shit with I'd do it in person. With the internet you'll most likely find someone too far away or showing their good side. Travelling or hosting otherwise complete strangers is a crap-shoot.

The only safe bet on those dice is snake-eyes. Those turn up more than anything else when you "toss the bones"

Defender​(dom male) • Nov 25, 2023

Go on Fetlife.

There are a lot of London-based groups and events on there.

SchrodingersDinosaur​(switch female) • Nov 25, 2023

What Defender said . Fet can be a little ‘overwhelming’ but currently is the best bet for in the real events. I’ve noticed that our event page here is getting a bit more traction, it would be great to see folks add more of their local events too!

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2023

Yep, Fet is great for events and groups.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 26, 2023

Try the LAM, London Alternative Market, they run workshops, a kink items fair, and there is a play party after I think. Good place to meet people as a first step, then go from there to munches and other workshops.

Before diving in though I would educate yourself by reading and watching you tube videos, plus books. Submissives guide website and you tube channel, Loving BDSM website and you tube channel good start of point. From a tops view point, Morgan Thorne website and you tube channel, and The Crow Academy website and you tube channel worth a look too. Learning about things from both sides of the slash is important, though I am not advocating you learn via experiencing things from a bottoms view point unless you feel that might work for you.

Learning first, how to do things safely is vital, before doing anything with a person.

I agree, the net is full of lonely people wanting a fantasy and too scared to try, plus fakers and scammers, there are genuine people as well, but discernment which comes through knowledge and experience can help you weed out the former people over the latter. In saying that though, even having those things wont always help re spotting someone who will ghost at a drop of a hat, or throw you under bus in favour of someone else - even genuine people will pull that sort of crap.

Sincorrigible​(sub female) • Nov 26, 2023

Great advice.

And I agree with dollMaker on the people point. No matter how much experience you have, you will STILL get duped/taken in by people who know how to play silly games. Or who simply behave in a way you don't understand, would never do yourself. Happened to me only recently. Ghosted by a man I believed to be a good man and dominant. The bottom line is simple in these cases: you are not compatible. But people can still behave in ways you don't understand or expect, and hurt you. You need a tough skin, and a supportive social network to weather this process.