Question For The Alphas Out There

lambsone • Feb 27, 2024

I think I now have a gross headache. It seems as though there are some personal dynamics going on here.

Now that everyone has had their say, may we get back to the original questions? And just to be clear nowhere did I ask for opinions on what people think about Alphas. I directed my question to Alphas, pure and simple. No one has the right to hijack this thread and turn it into a battle ground or an opportunity to lambaste Alphas. No matter that you think you have that right.

If this thread continues to go downhill. I will just delete it and forget that I even asked the question. If I can delete it that is.

Now I am anticipating hearing from Alphas and learning about what I asked. I am not interested in hearing from anyone else.

LilSugarFairy​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2024

Hi Lambsone, I asked my Dom these questions (because I was curious too) and thought I'd type out the answer for you since he isn't on this site. Hope that doesn't bother you since I'm acting as the go-between.

1) He considers himself an Alpha because he likes to lead and take up that mantel regardless if it's relationship wise or professional. He's most happy leading the charge because he feels like things will be done correctly and he can make sure they will get done without relying on others. This ties into his view on non-Alphas where the only difference he sees in the two is the fact that non-Alphas are happy to let others lead, no matter the dynamic if its relationship or professional. He still respects them as people, still can see their strengths and what they bring to the table in their own way, but to him its just a matter of who is the leader.

2) He always knew he was an alpha type because of his desire to lead and being good at it. He always went for the role of some kind of manager in his professional life and his desire to lead in relationships was something that made him the most happy and content. He cares about people and wanting to see them thrive and do well is the reason why he likes to lead. Nurture and guide people to be the best they can be (he is a Daddy Dom). So it was in his teens that he realized he liked to be in charge and he got along well with others who wanted to follow or ones that didn't feel the need to challenge his direction at every turn. He prefers the title of "Dom" over Alpha, but he does consider himself to be an Alpha due to his desire to lead.

lambsone • Mar 2, 2024

Thank you LilGirlLovesKisses for getting some answers from your Daddy. Could you ask him one more question for me? Does he see any difference between an Alpha Dominant and a Dominant that doesn't give themselves an alpha moniker? Thanks

LilSugarFairy​(sub female) • Mar 2, 2024

You're very welcome!

Okay, I asked and he went on a very long explanation (lol) so I'll try and sum-up.

He does believe there is a difference. You can be Dominant or have Dominant traits but that doesn't necessarily mean you're an Alpha. A sub can be very Dominant in certain areas of their life (subs with management careers or business owners) but that doesn't mean they are an Alpha. All Alpha's are Dominant but not all Dominants are Alpha's. You can hold power over someone, something or an idea (Dominant) but that power has missing components that an Alpha needs and that need is what separates the two.

A sub can hold control over another sub and technically that would make them a Dominant in the scenario but the desire to control, the desire to lead, the desire to be the "Alpha", is what sets it apart. It's not just the desire to hold control, its what truly fulfills a need. A sub can feel safe, protected, happy, content and solid by being under a Dominant, but the same is true for an Alpha who is over a sub. They feel most fulfilled when constantly active in a leading role. You can have a Dominant that only wants to exert that side in one aspect, but an Alpha needs to have that control in every aspect of their life. There for, he considers Mistresses, Alphas. Simply put, if you desire to always be the leader and its what most makes you happy, content and fulfilled, then you are an Alpha and by proxy, a Dominant. If your desire is only in certain aspects of your life and not others, then you are a Dominant in those aspects but not an Alpha.

He also wants me to note that he knows definitions of these words seem to mean different things to different people (I explained kind of the arguing so far on the topic) but this is what this means to him and he in no way wants to invalidate those that want to give themselves the title of either. This is purely his thoughts on the topic.

lambsone • Mar 3, 2024

LittleGirlLovesKisses, this is exactly what I was trying to find out when I posted the question. Please thank your Daddy for me. I think I understand this much better now.

Ingénue{VK} • Mar 3, 2024

I owned one who liked to think he was an alpha sub but it was just a cry for help and only masked his so-called "deep insecurities" that were actually very mundane and not complex.

I think he just liked to feel special and to have a bit of a brag. I think many of us like to do that from time to time, though not all of us can be bothered to construct a whole personality around it.

Enough gold stars for everyone, eh.

flitter'fly​(sub female){NotLooking} • Mar 3, 2024

Okay, I wasn't going to go here
But, because of a discussion with my Dear Friend Ingenue.
I promised to comment if she did.
Sooooo

Alpha

This word with Dominants is
HARD FOR ME

I am an alpha sub.
But, In the position
Not as a title.

Anyone whom claims the title
Alpa
is all cool
In WORDS

Proving the "Alpha Title" with each new person, brought into his or her life is key.

Earned With each and every new person and dynamic.

Just like getting to know anyone in one's life.
Respect is given at first, and keep by showing intent and follow through.

Just my way of thinking and seeing the "Alpha" in a title.
Like only calling a Dom Mr.
Until he is said Your Sir.
If this makes since.

This is in no way meant to demean anyone
Only the way I see anyone who claims without proven ability.

Thank You
FlitterFly...

Re: Question For The Alphas Out There

Drinfear​(dom male){Owns PFP} • Mar 3, 2024

I DO consider Myself to be different from EVERYONE out here, Alpha type or not. Do NOT make the mistake of interpreting My words as Me feeling I am BETTER than anyone else, NOR as saying I am above or below them either.. I am ME. I know no other way to be. I do not expect instant submission, nor do I expect respect to be shown instantly. I have never in My life, to the extent that I remember, claimed to be a so called 'Alpha Type', but then I show it by being Me.. I have always been the person people come to when problems of any type present themselves, and I have always been the one that rectifies these situations, when within My abilities or powers, per se, to do so..

Re: Question For The Alphas Out There

flitter'fly​(sub female){NotLooking} • Mar 3, 2024

Daddy you show, earn, and repeat your Alpha State with Nat and I every moment of everyday.
Thank You My Sir.
My Daddy
Love You
Your FlitterFly

lambsone • Mar 4, 2024

Oh boy, so much to take in. I thank you all for your comments. Some were helpful to me and others not so much. I think I've gotten a glimpse or the tip of the ice-berg in understanding this.

And I know that at the end of the day, we all put our pants or panties on one leg at a time, assuming we've got our legs. We are equal.

Alpha is a term that I ran across when I first got into the life-style at the turn of the century, but I never asked about it, so thought I would finally ask by going straight to the horse's mouth.

Our self image and thought processes are such individual things, that it stands to reason that whether identifying as Alpha or not, is based on how the individual relates to life. How they are wired, what they have the energy for. and what is comfortable for them in the long run as they move through life.

Being a leader is very uncomfortable and exhaustive for me. I function best in a support role. So I appreciate good leaders who can make decisions, hold others and a situation together, untangle problems, and come up with viable options. And who can work with non-Alphas in a way that benefits the whole.

Again I thank everyone for your input. Now I'm going to go take an aspirin.