Are you submissive or are you just lazy

Are you submissive or are you just lazy

Jazlyn​(masochist female)​{Owned} • Apr 12, 2025

I see a lot of subs who's whole selling point is that they are nothing but a pile of garbage who can be used for sex and humiliation.
Wow, how enthralling.
I'm starting to think that there is just a lack of effort and it has nothing to do with submission, yet it is disguised under the title of submission.
In my opinion, submission is supposed to be service, and I get that you can serve someone by being a fuck toy, but at the same time, a soggy old cum rag can do the same thing.
There is nothing special, nothing of significance, no skill, no talent, and it is annoying that it's so common.
What do you think?

House Talion​(dom male) • Apr 12, 2025

Most actually do see themselves as next to nothing while referingnto themselves as garbage due to self humiliation. The lazy ones have little to nothingness their profiles

MasterDarcy​(dom male) • Apr 12, 2025

No. Not at all. You can't really generalise people like that.

I've known subs who have been employed BY NASA for a couple of decades. I've known Psychiatrists, therapists, surgeons, etc.

The most recent one before the most recent sub I knew, or at least, got to know, was a millionaire who had had a successful chain of restaurants. She also came from money, but she was also self made.

Suffice to say, I torpedoed it for reasons I'd rather not discuss.

I've currently gotten to know (a week or so. Nothing serious. Yet.) a sub who is an assistant manager at a major banking firm in the UK. Her job is highly stressful and it requires brain power.

I'd say that a good percentage of the female submissives that I've met have had amazing careers and are at the top of the tree.

In the 80s, in the UK there seemed to a scandal each week revolving a member of the UK government being caught visiting sex dungeons, etc. Paying to get whipped and pretty much be under the thumb of a Dominatrix.

Psychologically, there's a link between people in high stress and demanding jobs being submissive "behind closed doors." They use it as a release valve to release their stress and let someone else take charge.

Of course there's lazy and low energy submissives. But there's also lazy and low energy Dominants.

I firmly believe in the Universe and the Law of Attraction. How you project yourself is what you get back in the mirror: my advert/profile is of a high standards, which is why it attracts a certain class of women.

If a Dominant or a submissive is moaning about the standard of people in the lifestyle, I'd urge them to reassess and reevaluate themselves.

A person's BDSM role doesn't define them.

CottageGardenGal​(masochist female) • Apr 12, 2025

" Gratification " would be the word but everyone start's some were but they may only know what they know does mean they are a lost cause but they are finding themselves but may not had someone show them the way just starting can take time for someone to get out of their shell so they will take how ever it is for them.

" Gratification" - Can be like reading about it the lifestyle or seen it want to try but does make them wrong yes can seem little out there. But trying to help others just be good support with the flow. More to life then picking as you get older just have to say to hell with it just live life people are going to live how they want to we are not paying everyone's bills we only do are own. It's better to help someone than pick at them just better thing to do.


Time and place for everything, but people have to go back to their life but have to come back to yourself.
Etiquette use to be more forced but know one can be forced growing up we were forced to sit up straight how to act and dress but we are in a free world now be want want/ Fine to have some manners but come as you are if people want help they will ask but some people will reach out say hello and welcome to the place.
Emily Post Manners good old manners book get in any library they don't have finishing schools these day's but plenty of videos and writing you can find.


All we can do as adults is just share inspiration, what we show share are the enlightenment without force but flow it's up to them what they want to do. You can message them give them tips let it be let them be them we all do are thing.

Be a good sport and support, be a friend a mentor a helping hand. It does have to be a lot of attachments but let people be your peace not a headache. Gotta be little crazy good or it be truly boring.

Lifestyle is about learning and growing. Everyone has their own part mistakes are not mistakes the are experiences help us grow go through things but up to us how we want to be.

It's their choice what they wanna do in this life we can't determine what they will be just do your thing let them do theirs we are not the same it be bat shit boring be glad we are all different . Know one is perfect know one comes with a book everyone has a story why they are here as long they're not bothering you let it be but you can give them pointers send them on their way we can't heal or save everyone but we can send them love hope they heal.

CottageGardenGal​(masochist female) • Apr 12, 2025

At times it is a relief for some but it takes people to look outside of that. Maybe they are doing this because it's a relief but they need someone as support so they find the right people.


Lifestyle is art as you are art of creation yes people deserve respect some people wanna feel the desire be erotica and erotica been around for thousands of years of being risque.

Behind the scenes I have seen people naked, girls dancing in a cage, seen people doing things but as long as they talk to the right people and use consent and just help them and grow them and show them and let them bloom. They just need to find their people just like everyone else does.

On here, magazines and classes and pod cast have alot of learning and many blogs and forums and just doing a little research and finding yourself were you want to go on your journey.

Me and my friend use to go to Galleria Domain in Chicago they had kinky kollege they would teach and events round tables I have seen some silly things and some people will volunteer to be the muse to be disciplined in front of people cause they don't care what people think but the person doing still going to respect them. Know one you can fit in any ones box we gotta just go along with it just share the wine.

CottageGardenGal​(masochist female) • Apr 12, 2025

Sometimes its ok to be little Laze well its a start and sometimes people want to have a laze day. They are searching for that passion, that spark that will get them out more as they go. Weekend is and days off or the end of the day that is are laze time. So people need a great escape to be laze in the moment. Slow going day, take it easy. Eveyone makes it gets the passion as we speak!

Online in chatroom, In virtual place , Game or in real life doing things at a club in doing desire things. Everyone needs their essence of desire to keep the passion alive.


Eample : Lochme BDSM Castle, dungeon be a victim or muse its not forever its only temporary you go back to your real self when done.
Places always have good safety of safe sane consent and respect others as any were you go. Get to know people, be a friend that all you can be - but build a connection before hand. Respect people wishes at times find what you like don't like keep going.

https://gyazo.com/6cba6b360b46f01d5628345f7ebc93d5

Desire is sexy its a mystery even if it's bad.
https://gyazo.com/67fef809a5a3488cba34f8aeea67cf23
Being seduced the flame it spills.
https://gyazo.com/54813c68c550b5eec3ed02fd7f7f3a68
Doing things you've never done before that the magic of it.
https://gyazo.com/9d6296e6b53af8f9cbf2cda92e31abbf
I have even been naughty maybe wanted to feel this way. Well cause it feels dame good. A great thirst. Cause it's good just to be yourself. The imagination to just be this creation. Romance your life be the creation of erotica in the lifestyle know is stopping you just be you and embrace.
https://gyazo.com/358c898b70e912a9ff3f7e3fc66d7579

Re: Are you submissive or are you just lazy

Steellover​(sub male) • Apr 12, 2025

I see this a lot with male submissives who are new to all of this. I think it is a common misunderstanding of how to approach the whole dynamic. First of all they get aroused by the humiliation and degredation kink. Nothing wrong with this by the way. But they see themselves being called "Worthless," etc. in the context of a scene play, and believe that is how they are supposed to present themselves as to their prospective partner- at all times. And this is not the case. I think most people eventually figure out that they need to still have self respect and bring something of value to the relationship, to support and complement their partner, rather than just get off on being "garbage."

lunamuse​(sub female) • Apr 13, 2025

I think a lot of what you described is just a very common kink amongst bottoms and submissives.

As a sub, why are you so eager to gatekeep the lifestyle based on your own standards? Why so quick to the holier than thou attitude?

If anything is annoyingly common and old, it’s the exact attitude you just portrayed in your post.

Jazlyn​(masochist female)​{Owned} • Apr 13, 2025

It's simply lazy to just be dead weight someone fucks, no talent needed, and that is annoying so many people bring no talent to being submissive.

lunamuse​(sub female) • Apr 13, 2025

Was that genuinely your only point here? I’m just not sure why you care so much about what others do or want.

I suppose I did not realize submission was a karaoke contest suddenly.