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Need advice-Was I wrong?

LittleMe​(sub female)
5 years ago • Aug 19, 2018
LittleMe​(sub female) • Aug 19, 2018
Thank you to all of you for your responses, I am pleased that they were all consistent.

I realise that in the end all that matters is I stuck to my own boundaries and standards but some outside reassurance helps.

I have had a message from him today saying that he wants to talk to me about things tomorrow (he’s travelling today)

I think I will give him a chance and hear what he has to say but my gaurd is up with him now and under no circumstance will he manipulate me. Maybe he was testing me but i’m not sure I want someone who is like that.
SubforHim​(sub female)
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
SubforHim​(sub female) • Aug 20, 2018
I agree with everyone here. Proud of you for sticking to your limits/boundaries. Let us know how it goes tomorrow!
Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast}
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
People are going to kill me for saying this, but you made a big mistake: you're still talking to him after he demanded something that he had no right to, made you feel guilty about setting boundaries, and is bullying you to get his way. That behavior is abusive. You had a valid excuse and no obligation to him whatsoever.

Don't let him explain. Frankly,you like him and want to find an excuse to put up with his bullshit. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Those demands are going to get bigger and he's going to make you feel worse about enforcing reasonable boundaries. That is not a Dom. That is, at best, an insecure idiot who wants instant gratification. At worse, you have an abuser who knows what he's doing and doesn't care because you're nothing to him. In either case, you deserve better.

Block him from as much as possible. Move on. Find someone who wants more than pictures, who sees you as a whole person and wants to make you better. That's really what a good Dominant does: makes you better because he cares. Also, Google "submissive frenzy.". That information may help.
ivyandtwine​(sub female)
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
ivyandtwine​(sub female) • Aug 20, 2018
Hey, Aria. Thanks for your two cents-- as someone new and watching this convo unfold, I appreciate your firm perspective.
Ivy
Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast}
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
LittleMe wrote:
She is right icon_sad.gif


I hate when I am or when I can't be kind. You want a Dom. Someone who values your submission as a gift, not a right. Last night was cold water to shock you awake from ypur lovely little sleep.

Block him.....he's done no good and doesn't respect you. Move on.....you deserve all the benefits that a real Dom can give you. Don't look for a behavior excuse....nothing can excuse behavior like that.

Two of my Doms found that D/s was summed up by the Goblin King in the movie Labyrinth: "I ask for so little. Fear me. Love me. Do as I say and I will be your slave."

It's a mutual exchange and the power isn't give away never to return. Instead it flows between the two of you constantly, strengthening both of you. If not, you don't have D/s, you have abuse. Lovey, block and move on. Find yourself a Dom.
Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast}
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
ivyandtwine wrote:
Hey, Aria. Thanks for your two cents-- as someone new and watching this convo unfold, I appreciate your firm perspective.
Ivy


I hate having to be firm, but you have to sometimes use really sharp scissors when the layers of undeserved guilt is that thick. Thankfully, I have them.
dollMaker​(dom male)
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
dollMaker​(dom male) • Aug 20, 2018
Aria wrote:
LittleMe wrote:
She is right icon_sad.gif


I hate when I am or when I can't be kind. You want a Dom. Someone who values your submission as a gift, not a right. Last night was cold water to shock you awake from ypur lovely little sleep.

Block him.....he's done no good and doesn't respect you. Move on.....you deserve all the benefits that a real Dom can give you. Don't look for a behavior excuse....nothing can excuse behavior like that.

Two of my Doms found that D/s was summed up by the Goblin King in the movie Labyrinth: "I ask for so little. Fear me. Love me. Do as I say and I will be your slave."

It's a mutual exchange and the power isn't give away never to return. Instead it flows between the two of you constantly, strengthening both of you. If not, you don't have D/s, you have abuse. Lovey, block and move on. Find yourself a Dom.


Exactly, well said.
FunCouple{.-Couple-.}
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Aug 20, 2018
Hello LittleMe

On most apps there is a button you can press which is called ‘Block’.
It’s only a suggestion, but I would suggest you use it for this particular individual.
You will be sad and it will no doubt be difficult to do because you seem to have already started a connection.
But it’s his loss and not yours.

But on the up-side, you will now have more time to spend with my friends Ben and Jerry.
I find these two are very good and perseptive at understanding a persons needs.
Well, they are good at knowing mine.

Hope this helps.

FC
LittleMe​(sub female)
5 years ago • Aug 20, 2018
LittleMe​(sub female) • Aug 20, 2018
Aria wrote:
LittleMe wrote:
She is right icon_sad.gif


I hate when I am or when I can't be kind. You want a Dom. Someone who values your submission as a gift, not a right. Last night was cold water to shock you awake from ypur lovely little sleep.

Block him.....


Giving hard truths doesn’t mean you are not being kind.

We exchanged numbers after the first day we spoke and we had been speaking on WhatsApp since. I deleted his number and the conversations off my phone yesterday but I didn’t block him and I still feel I want to know what he has to say if he’s going to say it.

Maybe I really am stupid but I did feel there was a connection so to let go of any possibility is hard. BUT deep down I know he has already shown me who he is.