Different Types of Submissives

Different Types of Submissives

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 23, 2018

I’ve done some research but the more research I do the more types of submissives I find. I feel like my head is sinking further and further into the undertow. I figured I’d ask you guys for some navigational advice. How did you figure out what kind of submissive you were? I imagine Doms could weigh in too.

I mean you’ve got your littles, dolls, slaves, pets ect. I’m sure you were all interested in more then a few kinks when you first entered the lifestyle. Was it trial and error that lead you to find your right fit so to speak? Or is there some secret path here I’m just not finding?

Lady Lushavore​(dom female) • Sep 23, 2018

Wholeheartedly, I know what you mean. There are many categories and then subcategories and even micro areas of differences and variances between people.

And that's sort of the way you should look at it. Whether you want to define yourself down to the last piece of thread (if you're able to), or allow yourself room for growth.

I believe it's a very fluid process that fluctuates from time to time by use of
learning and experimenting.

For me, I noticed that one Domme describes herself differently than another, and that is individuality at its finest. No one person should be the same.

I approached the situation with a broader scope, choosing the closest term that alignes with myself and from there, I'm on the journey to discovering everything that it entails and fashioning my own scope of what Domme I am.

(((I hope this was helpful, I'm in the learning stages myself, so I am interested in seeing more seasoned kinksters post on this topic.)))

Bunnie • Sep 23, 2018

I have found for myself that as I learn and grow, and shed the layers of who I’m not, my more authentic self shows through more readily. I can remember the first time someone suggested that I showed babygirl tendencies.... call him Daddy? No way! Lol... I was really offended. And then the fear around discovering I could have masochistic tendencies... because, well... pain hurts! Lol.
It’s been a journey of unraveling all the clues to find what’s there. I wouldn’t say that I am one specific type, as I tend to incorporate many different traits. It also depends very strongly on the person I’m with as to how those things are balanced, as we tend to bring out different aspects of each other with each person we interact with. My “little” aspect is a sign of trust and feeling safe... she only comes out with someone who’s Daddy Dom tendencies make me feel nurtured (and only ever with my Sir... this one isn’t shared). A sadist will draw out my masochist etc etc.
I am no longer able to see it all as structured as I once did, however, I also no longer need the comfort that provided me when I first began exploring. My suggestion would be to just go with whatever feels right for you. Things will resonate, and things won’t. Follow the breadcrumbs, keep safe, and enjoy the fun of discovery

Defining Yourself in the Lifestyle

Phanes​(dom male) • Sep 23, 2018

I agree with Lushavore's insight concerning this subject.
First I would suggest any newbie to the lifestyle to take the time to read up and research about the lifestyle before they dip their toes into it. You will want to know as much about it as possible because it can be seen as intimidating and complicated because of the many variations of the roles, dynamics between Dominants and submissives, seeing how you and your interests fit into the community, and most important; knowing how to protect yourself from those who seek only to find the inexperienced members and taking advantage of their lack of knowledge of the lifestyle; not knowing how to identify a true Dominant from those who are only out to seek self-gratification; "Use them and toss them aside, Next?" This may prevent you from being hurt both mentally and/or physically if you happen to fall victim to their game if you don't know what questions to ask of them and what true expectations are that define a lifestyle relationship.
Secondly, in your research, you may find that your interests in the lifestyle fits more than just on role. That is ok. There is nothing written in granite that says you can only have one personality/role and have to live and die with it. Variety is the spice in life! W/we all live a life that requires us to wear many hats/skirts/pants; depending on what the situation W/we live in requires and to whom lives within O/our world. The same goes in the lifestyle. You may find that when living within it, the dynamics can change between a Dominant and a submissive; depending on who you may be with, and/or the mood/scene you may find yourself experiencing. That is the beauty of living this lifestyle; the flexibility and ever changing fluidity of it. Many come to the lifestyle to escape their day to day reality, responsibities of having to be the "grown up" and making all those hard decisions for themselves and others; therefore they may wish to explore their litttle/babygirl side and allow someone they trust to guide them to a place where they can just let go and have a bit of fun. There may come a time where you may be needing someone to help you find structure in your life because you find yourself lost in your eveyday life, having no real sense of direction as to where you feel you are in a dark place and can't find yourself out of it. A caring, understanding, trusted Dominant can be your saving grace in helping you find your way. There are many reasons that people in the community may identify themselves having more than just one identity within it. Don't put yourself in a pigeon hole, be open to many possibilities until you find the one that best fits your needs and desires.
Lastly, DONT LET ANYONE DEFINE YOU!!!! Only you can do that. If you take the time to truly look into yourself and discover what is missing or what is it you seek out of your life; you will find who you are.

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 23, 2018

Thank you all so much for the advice! I wasn’t quite sure what kind of advice I’d be given. I do believe y’all hit the nail on the head with yours.

I’ve done some research and definitely intend to do some more, exploring the different things I’m interested in.

Thanks again!

CK45​(sub female) • Sep 23, 2018

I'm a newby and after reading a lot of posts on here and reasearching I started to kind of see it as a "spectrum" of submissiveness...don't know if that makes sense to anyone. But it works for me.
Good luck finding your spot in the spectrum! ?

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Sep 23, 2018

I'm going to weigh in here. D/s is a relationship at its heart. Your type of submission is pretty much going to vary based on how you feel and relate to your partner.

Last nite

Low{BLK OWND} • Sep 24, 2018

Last nite Dom you were unhinged
You were like some desperate howling demon
You frightened me
DO IT AGAIN
A quote from Tiss
My mentor
This is the kind of sub I am

BunnyDreams​(sub female) • Sep 24, 2018

Hi there.

While I completely agree with the above points, this is an area that I'm still trying to explore myself.
Partly because I don't have a set identity yet/ I haven't found quite what I'm looking for just yet
and partly because I like to research the hind quaters off of anything I sink my teeth into.

Now, this is only my inital findings but maybe it can be of some use to you:

Dominant/ Submissive:

Main Submissive groups: (AKA 3: Bottom, Submissive, Slave.) A masochist can be any of these.

The Bottom
The bedroom Submissive:
The Psychological Submissive
The Slave Heart Submissive
The Slave

Types of Submissives:

The classic submissive
Littles
Pets
human Pet/ Property

Types of Littles:

Littles
Baby Girl
Brat
Middles
Adult Baby
Pets?

LettingGo​(sub female) • Sep 25, 2018

You guys continue to be helpful. Thank you so much. It’s interesting to see everyone’s different perspectives. I’m sure I’m not the only one who will find your comments helpful!