DomForHer(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Oct 5, 2018
Breaks
So I’m seeking some advice from the more experienced people of this lifestyle. My sub and I have been in this lifestyle for about a year now. I was green, new when we started. She was more experienced. We have made this a 24/7 part of our relationship. But of course there are days where we need a break or breather from everything. Dynamic included. I’m curious to know how others handle those breaks with this lifestyle. We have struggled at times and I am looking for some advice and guidance. Thank you in advance.
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Online now
rosethorn(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Oct 5, 2018
Do you live in the same space ?
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Phanes(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Oct 5, 2018
Well one way NOT to do it, is approach someone else's submissive/slave when her profile clearly says she is spoken for. Just saying.
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DomForHer(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Oct 6, 2018
rosethorn wrote: Do you live in the same space ?
We do not currently. |
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DomForHer(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Oct 6, 2018
Phanes57 wrote: Well one way NOT to do it, is approach someone else's submissive/slave when her profile clearly says she is spoken for. Just saying.
Get your information right before you try to publicly call someone out.... just saying. |
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FabSeverus(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Oct 6, 2018
I guess Phanes57 got some proof otherwise as a respectful gentleman he won’t do it! Personally if it was true I would have contacted privately not in a forum.
As for your dilemma, only a proper discussion and a serious will can help you. Decide for how long you want to have a break. Try with a month with only 3 text messages a day... |
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Phanes(dom male)
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5 years ago •
Oct 6, 2018
To DomForHer: First I would like to apologize to you. In review of My lady's message regarding to her encounter with this person who approached her; it wasn't you. The name was very similar to your's and I mistaken took it out on you. My apologies.
To FabSeverus/Kinkster Community: As rightly pointed out by FabSeverus, I was wrong to bring this issue up in this forum and I wish to apologize to E/everyone in doing so. Lastly to address the subject of this forum: To maintain a D/s only relationship 24/7 is very hard to do and usually results in burnout between the two people involved. W/we have to keep in mind as to what brings U/us together as a couple in the begin with; O/our personal attraction to each other, commonalities of things W/we share, O/our needs/desires/wants that compliments each other. Basic building blocks for a personal relationship outside the BDSM realm. Without having a strong foundation on a personal level; the D/s side of the relationship usually is not as strong as it could be. My suggestion is to not expect being in the Master/submission mindset 7 days a week. Have days planned as to where you are both equal partners in the relationship; further strengthening it on a personal level; such as watching movies/tv together, sharing life events, cooking meals together, discuss any suggestions/concerns regarding the relationship that can further improve the relationship. |
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CK45(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Oct 6, 2018
Nicely done Phanes.
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rosethorn(sub female)
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5 years ago •
Oct 7, 2018
I would suggest (just my perspective) sitting down in a neutral place and rediscussing the boundaries and construct of the relationship for both of you, if its not working for one of you, then its not working for both, this doesn't have to be a huge thing, if you both agree to have some personal space as part of the relationship that isn't a bad thing.
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PaNdEmIc
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5 years ago •
Oct 7, 2018
Breaks
Any sub that I have ever had needs breaks. And doms aren't excluded from that. It's very easy to get caught up in the excitement and burn yourself or your sub out. The way I tend to deal with this is give your sub a day or even 2 days a week off. Or you can make them earn days off. Whichever works best for your dynamic. But this works well with couples who live together and practice together or for long distance dynamics all the same. It gives the dom and sub a day or two to just enjoy being together. The sub has no worry of doing anything wrong, or upholding any kind of obligations to her dom, and the dom has no pressure of any kind to think on his/her feet. It give the dynamic time to recover and recuperate. Overall it brings the dynamic closer together just by having a day or two a week to take a breather...either together or by yourselves.
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