Kinky, Queer, Non-monogamy, some geeky, and all things in-between. Working to make Kink and Non-Monogamy no longer a stigma. New episodes Thursdays!
AroundtheKinkyKampfire@yahoo.com
https://www.youtube.com/@aroundthekinkykampfire
We have merch now! - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
Rejection is part of dating, flirting, and relationships, but rejection sensitivity can turn a normal “not interested” into a full-body alarm. We get honest about why it stings so much, why some people spiral into anger, and how that pain can show up like physical symptoms. We are not therapists, but we are big on education through awareness, and this mini Pillow Fort Session is built to give you language and tools you can actually use the next time you feel shut down.
We walk through what rejection sensitivity means in plain terms, including the science-y idea that social rejection can activate the same neural circuits as injury. From there we connect the dots to real life: approaching someone who never asked to be approached, getting embarrassed, feeling judged, and then trying to “fix” it by arguing or throwing insults. We also dig into how childhood experiences like punishment, bullying, or never learning emotional skills can wire your nervous system to treat rejection like danger.
Then we get practical. We lay out common bad habits like debating your way out of a no, pretending logic will override emotion, and shoving anxiety down until it explodes. After that, we shift to good habits: self-compassion, accepting and validating emotions, naming what you feel, noticing body sensations, and using meditation to increase self-awareness and lower intensity over time.
If you have ever taken rejection personally or watched someone else blow up after being turned down, this one will hit home. Subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
1/6/26
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Some days you’re the person holding court. Other days you’re counting minutes until you can go home and be quiet. If that sounds familiar, you’re not “wishy-washy” you might be an ambivert, and naming it can change how you handle relationships, work, and social stress.
We break down ambivertism in plain language: the mix of introvert and extrovert traits, why “it depends on the situation” is a real pattern, and how your social battery actually works. We also talk about the spectrum problem, how people get trapped in binary labels, and why your behavior can shift with context, mood, and life demands without meaning you’re fake. Along the way, we connect it to everyday scenarios like walking into a room of strangers, feeling great with your inner circle, and needing recovery time even after something you enjoyed.
You’ll hear practical takeaways too: how to reduce energy drain, how to communicate your needs, and why asking questions beats making assumptions. We also get into common ambivert strengths like adaptability and switching between listening and speaking, plus the downsides like feeling pressured to “pick a side” and getting worn out trying to keep balance.
If you’ve been searching for answers about ambivert personality traits, introvert vs extrovert dynamics, social anxiety triggers, or how to recharge after socializing, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who says “it depends,” and leave a rating or review so more people can find the show.
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Sex is not the only reason people get close, and pretending it is makes a lot of us feel broken for no good reason. We unpack asexuality (ace) in plain English, starting with the core idea that asexuality is about not experiencing sexual attraction, not about whether you date, masturbate, cuddle, or choose to have sex. That one shift helps separate identity from behavior and clears up why celibacy and asexuality are not the same thing.
From there, we zoom out to the split attraction model and the parts of attraction most people never name out loud. We break down six types of attraction that can exist independently: sexual, romantic, aesthetic, sensual, emotional, and intellectual. If you have ever thought “I want cuddles and conversation, not hookups,” this framework puts words to it. We also talk about the range within the asexual spectrum, including sex-repulsed, sex-neutral, and sex-positive asexual experiences, plus how aromantic (aro) traits can overlap or not overlap.
We finish with the newer terms and research context that show how fast this field is still changing, including queer platonic relationships and “squishes,” that friend-crush energy that is real even when sex and romance are not. If any of this hits home, share the episode with someone who needs better language, subscribe for more deep dives, and leave a rating or review so more people can find it.
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
If you’ve ever thought, “I’m doing everything and it still doesn’t land,” love languages explain the gap. We take the popular five love languages and strip away the hype so you can use them as a practical communication tool, not a personality label or a relationship shortcut. Along the way, I call out the biggest problem I see everywhere: people making assumptions for years instead of having one honest conversation.
We walk through quality time, physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and receiving gifts with real-life examples and the messy nuance people ignore. Quality time can be presence and active listening, but it can also be a thoughtful text when you’re not in the same room. Physical touch can be powerful, but only when consent and boundaries are clear. Acts of service and gifts sound straightforward until you realize effort can still miss if it’s not the kind of effort your person actually values. And words of affirmation hits different when it’s specific recognition, not empty compliments.
We also get into the origin story behind Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, the difference between giving and receiving preferences, and why love languages can change with mood, stress, and life seasons. Finally, we talk benefits like empathy and stronger connection, plus risks like turning it into a scorecard or using it for manipulation and love bombing.
If you want better relationships without mind-reading, press play, share this with someone you care about, and leave a rating or review. What love language do you want people to understand about you?
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Smut Lovers 2024 isn’t just a book convention, it’s a live intersection of romance fiction, BDSM education, queer community, and the messy practical work of building safer spaces. I’m fresh off volunteering in Central Florida, and I’m unpacking what stood out: why smut readers often arrive as “kink-curious,” how a local dungeon sponsor can turn fiction-inspired curiosity into real learning, and what it feels like to be surrounded by people who actually want the facts instead of assumptions. If you’ve ever wondered how readers, authors, educators, and community folks share the same room without it turning into chaos, this one’s for you.
We also get real about the behind-the-scenes side of conventions: organizers who are somehow also authors, volunteers keeping panels on time, and the constant challenge of getting information to attendees. I nerd out about event apps, schedules, reminders, and why good logistics are underrated consent culture. Along the way, I talk about task switching, neurodivergence, and why promoting a podcast can feel like pulling teeth even when you love the work.
Then we go deeper into the values that keep communities functional: do your research, use the supercomputer in your pocket, and still ask the “dumb” questions anyway. I share notes on respectful tattoo clients, sensory limits, book signings, and stage performances that show BDSM can be public, skilled, emotional, and not just a cheap stereotype. I also share a new personal goal: applying to be a sensitivity reader for smut and kink-adjacent fiction. If you get something from this, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more curious people can find us.
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
People hear BDSM and immediately picture sex, but that shortcut causes a ton of confusion, bad expectations, and messy feelings in real-world kink spaces. We sit down to unpack a simple truth: BDSM can include sex, but it doesn’t have to. What drives a lot of scenes isn’t intercourse at all, it’s power exchange, sensation, trust, and intent.
We get specific about the language people mix together, like BDSM vs kink vs fetish, and why defining “sex” is trickier than it sounds. Is it penetration, genital touch, arousal, or the intention to create orgasm? We talk through how intent changes everything, why arousal can happen accidentally in intense scenes, and how that doesn’t automatically make a scene “sexual” or mean anyone is owed more. We also share how our own relationships with kink differ, from kinky sex being the norm to doing plenty of nonsexual play with friends for stress relief, practice, and pure fun.
Then we zoom out to public dungeons and play spaces: why many don’t allow traditional intercourse, how pickup play actually works, and why the kink community isn’t the swinger community. We cover the real skill that keeps people safe and sane, negotiating not just the physical acts but the emotional and intimate layer too, plus why check-ins after a scene matter as much as aftercare for bruises.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you can explore BDSM without pressure to have sex, this one will help you walk in with clearer boundaries and a calmer brain. Subscribe, share this with a curious friend, and leave a review with the biggest kink misconception you want us to tackle next.
1/6/26
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
A smut book conference that’s also packed with real-world kink education sounds like a contradiction until you see it up close. We’re fresh off Smut Lovers in Orlando, and we’re breaking down what actually happens when romance readers, spicy romance authors, and BDSM educators share the same space for a full weekend of panels, demos, signings, and community.
We talk through how the conference is structured, from the VIP meet-and-greet and education-heavy Friday panels to Saturday’s author signing chaos where readers roll in with carts, maps, and a mission. We dig into why authors are hungry for realism, how “reality vs fiction” shows up in Q and A, and what it looks like when writers can ask experienced people the questions that make scenes safer and more believable. We also explain the role of a sensitivity reader, especially when stories touch impact play, non-consent themes, or trauma.
Then we get into the hands-on learning: Rope 101, a Violet Wand demo with safety front and center, and the after party performances that hit harder than anyone expected. One of the biggest surprises is how emotional it can be for a room full of readers to witness real connection and intimacy, not just read it on the page. We also share the volunteer perspective, the beginner-friendly vibe, and the strange venue logistics of being near very different events while keeping everything respectful.
If you’re curious about Smut Lovers, kink education for authors, or the growing smut book community, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who loves spicy romance, and leave a review with the most unexpected thing you learned from the conversation.
1/6/26
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Primal play gets labeled as “rough,” “animalistic,” or “hunter and prey,” but those words don’t help much when you’re trying to figure out what you actually want or why it keeps showing up in your fantasies. Julius digs into primalism as a core identity and a BDSM style built around raw impulse, pursuit, and embodied instinct. If you’ve ever wondered why some scenes feel like more than sex, why “mating” feels like its own category, or why wrestling and capture dynamics hit differently, this one is for you.
We walk through plain-language definitions of primal kink, then turn them into real-world examples: scratching, biting, growling, pinning, mounting, and the chase of a primal hunt. We also talk about the roles you’ll see in the community, from primal hunter and primal prey to packs, tribes, shifters, and the alpha beta omega language. Julius shares how animal attachment (like wolf energy and pack mentality) can be spiritual or metaphorical, and where primal sometimes overlaps with pet play and furry without being the same thing.
Consent stays at the center. We call out negotiation, adult-only boundaries, and why primal can look intense without being non-consensual. Then we end on the philosophical question that keeps coming up on Reddit and FetLife: are you born primal, or can you learn it with practice, partners, and reps?
If this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with a curious friend, and leave a review so more kinksters can find the conversation.
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
A random sound, an awkward moment, a “too trendy” habit, a loud chew, a cringe caption and suddenly your attraction falls off a cliff. That snap reaction gets labeled “the ick,” but I keep coming back to a sharper question: is it really just pettiness, or is it your gut trying to keep you safe?
We walk through what the ick actually is, why it can feel so visceral, and why small things can start to look like deal breakers overnight. I dig into the research notes around common triggers and reported differences, then zoom out to the bigger relationship questions: when does the ick signal a real red flag like narcissism, misogyny, or chronic embarrassment, and when is it just normal human annoyance that you can talk through?
We also get into attachment styles, especially avoidant attachment, and how fear of rejection or abandonment can push your brain to hunt for an exit. If you feel the ick over and over, it might be time to look at patterns, not just partners. On the sensory side, we cover misophonia and misokinesia, plus the brain and evolution angle around pair bonding and why our minds “pattern match” behaviors to stored negative associations.
You’ll leave with practical dating advice: slow down, communicate clearly, re-evaluate honestly, and decide whether you’re protecting yourself or trapping yourself in perfection. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s dating, and leave a review. What’s the most surprising ick you’ve ever had?
Source material -
https://www.verywellmind.com/why-we-get-the-ick-according-to-therapists-7501527
https://www.georgetown.edu/news/ask-a-professor-the-neuroscience-of-the-ick/
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Free use is one of the most misunderstood kink terms on the internet, and that confusion can lead to real harm. We sit down around the campfire and define free use in plain English: a consensual dynamic built on pre-arranged consent, clear rules, and the absolute right to stop. If someone tries to sell you “blanket consent” with no safeword, we call it what it is: a red flag.
We also sort out the definitions people keep mixing together in BDSM and swinger spaces. Consensual non-consent (CNC) often includes a time-bound scene where resistance is part of the negotiated script. Free use, on the other hand, is more about ongoing availability and casual access within a shared agreement, usually private and context-specific. Then we zoom out to 24/7 and blanket consent as the consent architecture that makes either path ethical, including boundaries, hard limits, soft limits, and safeword protocols.
From there, we get into the “why” behind it all: wanting to feel desired without having to ask, relief from decision fatigue, and the trust it takes to explore consensual erotic objectification without sliding into erasure. We also talk bystander consent and why public kink can be unethical even when the partners involved agree.
If you want safer, clearer kink conversations and better language for what you actually want, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Source material -
https://www.go3fun.co/poly-blog/what-is-a-free-use-kink/
https://www.theromancegenrespecialist.com/post/the-freeuse-romance-kink-explained
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Labels can feel like boxes until you realize they’re also doors. We get real about BDSM roles and kink labels like Dom, sub, switch, top, bottom, and “right side of the slash,” and why those words can make it easier to find compatible partners without pretending a profile tag tells the whole story. I’m opinionated here: if you’re using labels to make snap judgments, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re using them to start better conversations, you’re on the right track.
We break down the difference between role play and an ongoing power dynamic, because those get mixed up constantly. Role play can be a character for a scene, while a dynamic can be a longer-term structure that depends on negotiation, boundaries, and clear consent. We also talk about how labels shift over time as you learn, try new things, and grow, and why expecting someone to stay the same forever is a setup for disappointment.
Then we go straight at the biggest problem: assumptions. A label is not a standing invitation, not a contract, and not a mind reader. We argue for one simple habit that improves everything in kink and relationships: ask what it means to them. If you’ve ever felt seen by a word like demisexual, or found community through shared language, you’ll recognize how powerful the right terms can be when they’re used with respect.
If this hits home, subscribe on your platform, share it with a friend who needs the “ask questions” reminder, and leave a review with stars so more curious people can find us. What label do you wish people would stop assuming things about?
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
You can be asexual and still love sex spaces. That’s not a contradiction, and we’re done pretending it is. We’re talking about sex-favorable asexuality and what it looks like when you genuinely enjoy the vibe of kink events, swingers spaces, and even orgy rooms while not feeling the same kind of primary sexual attraction that allosexual people assume is “the whole point.”
We share real-world stories from hotel takeover style swinger environments, the difference in how people initiate in swingers culture versus kinky queer spaces, and why “I like how you look, but I don’t need to have sex” can short-circuit a lot of expectations. We also get honest about how fetishizing comments and pushy flirting miss the mark, and why a good conversation often matters more than any physical compliment. If you’ve ever felt out of place in sex-positive community spaces, this is your reminder that belonging isn’t earned through performance.
From there we break down core ace spectrum language: sex-averse, sex-neutral, and sex-favorable, plus the crucial takeaway that asexuality does not equal absence of sexuality. We talk about libido vs desire, how the body can respond even when the mind isn’t chasing sex, and how partners can get hurt when they treat orgasm as validation. We end with practical tools for consent and communication: defining intimacy for yourself, naming non-negotiables, keeping a living yes no maybe list, and scheduling regular relationship check-ins so boundaries can evolve without drama.
If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a better framework, and leave a review so more ace and allosexual listeners can find the conversation. What part of the ace experience do you wish more people understood?
Source material -
https://weareher.com/sex-favorable-asexual-dating-guide/
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/asexual-sex-positivity#moving-forward
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Somebody on Reddit is always asking, “Am I the asshole?” but the better question is usually: where did consent get replaced by pressure? I’m Julius, and I’m bringing three alternative relationship and sex questions to the campfire with zero sugarcoating and a lot of care for the people getting pushed past their limits.
First up, we dig into a messy polyamory moment with a nesting partner and a friends with benefits. If you bought sex toys and kink gear to explore together, then hit a rough patch and took a break, what happens when your partner wants to use that gear with someone else, especially when you never used it together? We talk ownership, emotional meaning, the “gift” reality, and what you can actually do that is a true boundary instead of a rule.
Next, we tackle the classic “you did it with your ex” argument, including sexual history interrogation, jealousy, and the kind of guilt that turns a relationship into a negotiation you never agreed to. I break down why “no” is a complete answer, why boundaries are personal, and why moodiness and love bombing are not the price of admission for dating someone inexperienced.
We close with a question that should not be controversial: is asking for more foreplay before intercourse somehow wrong? We talk arousal, comfort, mutual pleasure, and the bigger relationship problem behind partners who shut down when you ask for what you need.
Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a backbone boost, and leave a review with the strongest boundary you’ve ever had to defend.
Source material -
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITApod/comments/1rl2ht1/aita_for_not_doing_freaky_things_ive_done_before/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1nwgye2/aita_for_asking_for_more_foreplay_before/
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Half the year is gone, and I’m not letting 2026 blur by on autopilot. Around the Kinky Campfire turns into a midyear self-review where I lay out my real do’s and don’ts, the habits I’m retiring, and the goals I’m doubling down on. It’s honest, a little chaotic, and way more useful than a polished highlight reel.
I talk about relationships and the uncomfortable truth that some “messing with your partner” behavior can cross into emotional harm, even when you think it’s playful. I own the stuff I used to normalize, why a partner should feel like a safe space, and what it looks like to unlearn low-key abusive tactics that can hide inside culture and routine. If you care about communication, consent, and emotional safety in kink, BDSM, polyamory, or any relationship, this is the kind of reflection that actually changes outcomes.
Then we shift into the creator life: improv as communication training, hosting as a real passion, and the first time I got paid to host bingo. I also get real about money pressure, gas costs, burnout, overcommitting, and feeding the social media algorithm with shorts just to stay visible. That leads into a bigger question about fulfillment, motivation, and sleep: if you’re not doing what feeds your soul, your body notices.
I close with my ongoing beef with tech career certifications and test anxiety, plus a genuine ask: would you want me to stream live, take questions, and eventually teach more kink education through webinars and classes? Subscribe for Thursday audio and Friday video, share this with a friend who needs a midyear reset, and leave a review so more kampsters can find the show.
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Bourbon Street is loud, hot, and chaotic, so it’s the perfect backdrop for one of the biggest swingers conventions in the country. I’m back from Naughty Nollins with a fresh, boots-on-the-ground recap from my first time in New Orleans and my first ever swingers convention and I’m not sugarcoating the logistics, the surprises, or the stuff I’d do differently next year.
I went as part of the Smut Lovers crew, juggling vending, volunteering, and trying to stay socially functional on very limited energy. I talk about what the event actually looks like from the inside: badge-only hotel access, couples-heavy crowds, “vanilla” speed dating that isn’t exactly vanilla, naked speed dating that gets even stranger, and the unexpectedly practical necklace station where people make name tags that list what they’re into. I also share what it’s like working the play spaces, including the infamous orgy room setup, cleanup, and the constant flow of people cycling through themed rooms.
You’ll also hear how the convention spreads across multiple hotels, why the shuttle matters, and how the kink side shows up with a real dungeon and meetups that hint at a growing overlap between swingers culture, kink community spaces, and poly relationship styles. I wrap with my best first-timer tips for Naughty Nollins and any New Orleans swingers event: arrive early for pre-con networking, plan for the heat, protect your downtime, and advocate for better maps if you’re vending.
If this helped you picture what a swingers convention is really like, subscribe, share the show with a curious friend, and leave a review so more people can find Around the Kinky Kampfire. What would you want to know before going to a convention like this?
https://www.naughty-events.com/cover-naughty-nawlins
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
FLASHBACK EPISODE 4/11/24
We open with a ridiculous little “negotiation minute” over snacks and ASMR rules, and it turns into a surprisingly useful example of how boundaries actually get made in real time. From there, we dive into a rant that hits a nerve: why so many people grow up without any clear roadmap for relationship stages, then get judged for struggling when the honeymoon phase ends. We use language from Polywise and talk through symbiosis (New Relationship Energy) and differentiation, where the things you don’t share stop being cute and start demanding honest renegotiation.
We connect those relationship phases to kink, BDSM, and D/s dynamics because the pattern shows up fast when people hit that early frenzy, make big promises, and then discover a real mismatch in needs or limits. We also get into why definitions matter, how terms like SSC, RACK, and PRICK keep evolving, and why “being an educator” should come with the responsibility to explain concepts clearly. If you take classes, follow creators, or date in the scene, we share our best advice: vet your educators the same way you’d vet a play partner.
Then we go full chaos with FetLife’s ever-growing list of roles, talk solo bondage safety (timers, ice locks, exit plans), detour into bodily autonomy and politics, and close with a high-engagement rating game that reveals what we actually can’t live with in a partner. If you like candid banter with practical takeaways on negotiation, consent, relationship communication, and kink education, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave us a review. What phase do you think you’re in right now?
1/6/26
Got a burning question about kink, BDSM, relationships, and/or navigating the wild world of alternative lifestyles?
Send in your questions. No topic is too taboo, no curiosity too small! We’re all making mistakes, growing, and exploring together!Submit your questions anonymously at aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com or slide into our DMs at Twitter-KinkyKampfire, YT-AroundtheKinkyKampfire, IG-KampfireKinksters. Let’s keep the fire going!
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Dating in 2026 has a vibe, and it’s equal parts hopeful, messy, and chronically online. We’re halfway through the year, so I’m taking a lighthearted but honest look at the dating trends popping up everywhere and giving you my real commentary on what actually helps you build connection.
We get into political deal breakers and why people treat them like instant character tests, plus how I’d rather ask “why” than slam a door without context. Then we talk about therapy lingo in dating culture: boundaries, narcissism, trauma bonding, and all the ways good mental health language gets turned into lazy labels. I’m all for emotional growth, but I’m not here for people throwing around diagnoses like they’re horoscope signs.
From there, we hit the practical trends: being more direct about what you want, micro dating with short coffee meetups, and the friend group chat effect on who you date. I also dig into dating app fatigue, why swiping feels like 95% nonsense, and why “apps are obsolete” might be true for some people, but only if you’re willing to actually talk to humans in real life. Finally, we roast the worst of the bunch: “Shreking” and “throning,” where dating turns into a status game and clout chase.
If any of these trends have you nodding or rage-laughing, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review. Which dating trend do you think is the most damaging right now?
Source material -
https://inclubmagazine.com/2026-dating-trends/
https://www.ebony.com/summer-dating-trends-2026/
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Your heart races before a difficult talk, you overthink a text, you walk into a crowd and your whole body scans for threats and then you shame yourself for being “ridiculous.” That combo is exactly what we’re unpacking: the shame of small fears, and why it can quietly run your relationships, your confidence, and your daily peace.
We dig into the stress state many of us live in, from fight or flight to freeze and fawn, and how hypervigilance can make normal public life feel tense even when you’re objectively safe. I talk through the popular “lizard brain” idea as a practical tool for understanding why emotions and survival instincts hit fast while logic shows up late, and why that mismatch can make you feel like you’re always bracing for a bear when it’s really just someone looking at you sideways.
We also name the outside forces that poke that reactive wiring: nonstop news cycles, attention-grabbing marketing, and social pressure that keeps your nervous system on high alert. Then we land on what actually helps: self-compassion, dropping the self-ridicule, and practicing modern bravery, the quieter kind that looks like honesty, boundaries, saying no, and doing the hard thing even while your stomach drops.
If any of this hits close, subscribe so you don’t miss the next one, share it with someone who’s stuck in a shame spiral, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What “small fear” has been feeling huge for you lately?
Source material -
https://chriswillx.com/3-minute-monday-shame-men-breast-enhancement/
Pod ep- https://open.spotify.com/episode/5oG2jVfIwpDPVuqkhoRFHL
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Showing up alone can feel like the loudest thing you’ll do all week, but it doesn’t have to be a disaster or a mystery. We get real about being single at social events, from totally vanilla nights out to kink, BDSM, and swinger meetups, and why going solo can actually bring you more connection, not less. If your brain loves to catastrophize and tell you you’ll be the “weird one,” you’re going to feel seen here.
We break down the awkward parts people don’t always say out loud: the fear of being judged, the stress of walking into an established group, and the very real issue of unwanted romantic attention. Then we shift into practical tools you can use immediately, like setting a timer for 10 minutes, aiming for five quick hellos, or even letting “I made it to the parking lot” count as success. We also talk about boundaries, consent, and simple safety habits like check-ins, especially if you’re new in town or just want extra peace of mind.
For lifestyle spaces, we zoom in on culture and policies, why it helps to observe before jumping in, and how good communities filter out creepy behavior. We also cover planning for bigger events like cruises, resort takeovers, conventions, and meet-and-greets, including how to find community ahead of time through Facebook groups, Discord, FetLife, and other social platforms. One of the best introvert-friendly hacks we share is volunteering, because it gives you a role and built-in conversation starters.
If you want more confidence going out alone, press play, try one small experiment, and tell us what worked. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a nudge, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Source material -
https://www.skipthesmalltalk.com/blog/out-alone
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Love is not a single feeling you either have or you do not. It is a set of patterns, and once you can name them, you can stop guessing at what is happening in your relationships and start choosing what to build.
We walk through eight types of love using the classic Greek terms: pragma (mature commitment), eros (passion and desire), philia (deep friendship), philautia (self-love), storge (family bond), ludus (playful early-stage energy), agape (giving without expecting anything back), and mania (obsessive love that can spiral into jealousy and codependency). I also introduce a fun framing that makes the whole thing click: love catalysts. Think of catalysts like chemistry, the trigger that speeds up the reaction. We talk about how different loves can feel mind-driven, body-driven, soul-driven, memory-driven, or purpose-driven, and why that matters for communication and compatibility.
Along the way, I share practical ways to show healthier forms of love (effort, trust, gratitude, self-care, playful connection) and I push back on a few “nice-sounding” ideas that are not always real life, like forgiving quickly or assuming family bonds are automatic. We close by looking at how obsessive love starts, how to catch possessive behavior before you act on it, and how self-work and boundaries protect your relationships.
Listen, then tell me which love type you recognize in your life right now. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs better language for love, and leave a review so more people can find the Kampfire.
Source material -
https://www.ftd.com/blog/types-of-love
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Sex Ed failed a lot of us, not because we missed a diagram, but because we never got the tools to talk about consent, risk, and boundaries when things get real. I’m Julius Marquise, and I’m bringing the kink-informed “health class” I wish existed, the one that actually explains the words people use and the safety practices that protect everyone involved. If you’ve ever felt lost hearing terms like kink, fetish, BDSM, scene, dynamic, or aftercare, this is the roadmap.
We start by defining core kink and BDSM vocabulary in clear, usable language, then move into the stuff that matters most when you’re negotiating with a partner: soft limits, hard limits, and what it means to be a play partner versus an intimate partner. We also talk roles like top, bottom, dominant, and submissive, with a reminder that these are actions and agreements, not automatic personality traits. You’ll walk away with language you can actually use in a conversation before clothes come off.
From there, we get practical about kink safety and consent. I break down RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) and why “do whatever you want” is not a green flag, plus how safewords work in the stoplight system. We also cover nonverbal safewords, check-ins during a scene, and a point people still miss: consent is always revocable, even if you’re deep into it, and tops have consent and safewords too. Finally, we draw the line between consensual BDSM and intimate partner violence, then close with why aftercare is a real need, not a bonus.
If you want better communication, safer kink exploration, and healthier sexual boundaries, listen through and take notes. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a better framework, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the sex education we all should have gotten.
Source material -
https://www.carneliancounselingportland.com/blog/1179566-consent-consent-consent
TEA & CONSENT - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Single can feel like one big label, but I don’t buy that. I’m Julius Marquise, and I’m pulling apart a question that hits your dating life harder than most people admit: what “type” of single are you, and how does that shape who you attract, who you frustrate, and who you actually build with?
We start with four single archetypes from a research-inspired article: the Professional (ambitious, structured, achievement-focused), the Carefree (adventure-driven, laid-back, flexible), the Heartless (emotionally detached, no-strings energy), and the Loner (solitude-loving, slow to connect). I talk through the best traits and the potential downsides of each, plus the real-world compatibility landmines like scheduling vs spontaneity, commitment vs freedom, and connection vs distance. If you’re into alternative relationships, kink, or nontraditional dating, this kind of self-knowledge makes communication cleaner and consent clearer.
Then I add six more “types of singles” from another self-report study: Happy-Go-Lucky, Where’s My Social Life, Quiet Sufferer, It’s Not Me It’s You, Maybe I’m The Problem, and Mixed Bag. I’m honest about the limitations of self-reporting, but I also show how these categories can help you spot patterns in self-esteem, stress, health, friendships, and family ties so you can date with more intention.
Listen, share it with a friend who needs a reality check, and subscribe, rate, and review Around the Kinky Kampfire. Which type are you right now, and what would you want to change?
Source material - https://www.yourtango.com/love/types-single-people-best-worst-traits
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
You do not need a secret password to find your people, you need a path. We start with the real beginner question: how do you get into a BDSM community without getting overwhelmed, pressured, or pulled into unsafe situations? I share my own origin story, from realizing “regular porn didn’t do it for me” to finding FetLife, discovering events, and finally walking into my first munch. Yes, there’s also a quick mid-day energy drink ASMR moment because that’s how we warm up around the campfire.
We get practical about what actually works for newcomers: creating a FetLife profile, browsing the events tab in your city, and choosing public meetups like munches and sloshes as a safer first step. I explain the difference between a munch and a slosh, why public settings can help you feel safer, and how to show up with an open mind even if your social skills feel rusty. We also talk about the unspoken “probationary period” most kink communities have, where trust builds through consistency and good behavior over time.
Then we zoom out to the bigger ecosystem: local dungeons, how to check venue rules (including sex positive policies and edge play limits), and why learning and consent stay at the center. I break down partner vetting, references, and red flags, plus the reality of roles and “side of the slash” friendships for tops, bottoms, and switches. We wrap with conferences, play parties, and my favorite introvert-friendly hack: volunteering, which gives you a purpose and makes connection easier.
If you’re curious about BDSM education, kink safety, and finding a real kink community, hit play, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What part of joining a BDSM community feels most intimidating to you right now?
https://obedienceapp.com/blog/entering-your-community-era
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
Non-monogamy gets talked about like it is either a cheat code for relationships or a guaranteed disaster, and both takes miss the point. We sit down by the campfire and give a clear, no-fluff intro to consensual non-monogamy, including polyamory, open relationships, and the mindset shift that comes with admitting one person cannot meet every need for every season of your life. We also say the quiet part out loud: consent is not optional, and yes, you can still cheat in non-monogamy when you hide, lie, or break agreements.
From there we dig into the emotional side that people rarely prepare for. We challenge the reflex to label every hard feeling as jealousy, and we talk about how unmet needs, insecurity, and bad partner behavior can masquerade as “jealousy problems.” We unpack why trying to control your partner backfires, what you can actually control, and why communication feels terrifying when the real fear is rejection. If boundaries have been hard for you, we connect that to identity, people pleasing, and the uncomfortable reality that you sometimes learn a boundary only after something hurts.
We also clear up some common non-monogamy myths: compersion is not required, constant happiness is not the goal, and you do not owe anyone a performance of being “cool.” We talk metamours, privacy, and negotiating how much information you want to hear about other dates. Then we bring it down to earth with the logistics that shape every relationship: time, distance, money, mental energy, and the fact that love may feel infinite but your resources are not. If you are curious about ethical non-monogamy, this is a practical starting point for doing your own research and making choices that fit your real life.
Subscribe for new episodes, share this with a friend who needs a more honest take on non-monogamy, and leave a review if the conversation helped. What part of non-monogamy do you want us to go deeper on next?
Source material - https://www.nonmonogamyhelp.com/thirteen-things-i-wish-id-learned-before-choosing-non-monogamy/
https://www.npr.org/2023/09/28/1196977813/what-to-know-if-youre-exploring-non-monogamy
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety
CNC can look like chaos from the outside, but the real version runs on structure. I’m Julius Marques, and around the Kinky Kampfire I’m getting specific about consensual non-consent: what it is, what it is not, and why “we didn’t talk about it” is the fastest way to turn a fantasy into harm.
We walk through the foundations of CNC kink and BDSM consent, including pre-negotiation, clear boundaries, and the reality that consent is ongoing and revocable. I also hit a myth head-on: yes, you can have safewords in CNC. Sometimes you keep your usual safeword, sometimes you negotiate a scene-specific word or a safe gesture, but you never remove the ability to stop. We also talk about blanket consent and why I’m cautious about agreements that are too broad to protect people day to day.
From there we get practical: why CNC is riskier than typical play, how confusion and adrenaline can lead to mistakes, and why aftercare matters so much when the headspace ends and drop can kick in for tops and bottoms alike. I compare CNC vs free use, explain why these fantasies are common, and share example scenarios plus the real pros and cons, including intimacy, exploration, and the potential for emotional harm if mishandled.
If you want kink education that’s direct, safety-forward, and honest, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs the clarity, and leave a review so more people can find the show.
Source material -
https://www.naturalcycles.com/cyclematters/consensual-non-consent
1/6/26
1/6/26
Come let us know what you think! -
IG -https://www.instagram.com/kampfirekinksters/
Yahoo - aroundthekinkykampfire@yahoo.com
Come check out our merch!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SafeWordSociety
https://tee.pub/lic/F1PtyQ_K8kE
http://www.redbubble.com/people/safewordsociety