bratty little one(sub trans man)

Bratty little one

How do you know? (Sexuality)

2 years ago. January 2, 2022 at 5:55 AM

so i have a legit question its something ive been struggling with for what seems like ever but in reality ive been struggling since i was 14 so about 16 years and i figured its about time i stop trying to figure it out on my own and reach out to those that might have an answer i know that this is something that i should post on a facebook group page but they never seem to be very helpful about anything and this community has helped me so much since i learned that im into some things bdsm has to offer any way my question is how do you figure out what kind of sexuality you are like when i was younger i used to think about changing my sex into that of a man but then i decided that i loved being a mom and having kids and feeling those kicks in my stomach then i had my first girlfriend and at the time i didnt even know that i could like girls like that then after she broke my heart i got my first boyfriend and then i thought i might be bisexual and so i dated other guys and looked at girls but i never truly loved any of the guys i dated i just didnt want to be alone then i found another girl who i really liked and i thought we hit it off but then she broke my heart and went back to her ex after her i pretty much stayed away from girls but would still apreciate looking at them but only really persude guys then i decided i needed to work on being ok with being alone so i would look but thats it except a friend with binefits type thing every so often but thats all it was sex nothing else then my roommate brought his girlfriend over to live with us and i fell in love at first sight i was ready to marry her right then and there eventually they broke up and we got together i swear i had no part in it i kept my distance im no homewrecker and i made sure he was ok with me and her dating first anyway we were together for almost a year were engaged to get married then she set me up got me locked up and when i got out i found out that she just was using me and was never even into me doesnt even like girls now before you ask how did i not know well im going to tell you all something a little embarrassing ive never had sex with a female before ive been figured by one my second girlfriend but thats it i never did anything sexual to her and it was only the one time that we even went that far and before you judge or anything like that there are a few reasons ive never had sex with a woman first of all it scares me which isnt surprising since i was scared of having sex with a man up until i was 18 had plenty of optunities but i always chickened out and its pretty much the same thing when it comes to a woman also i get grossed out at using my hands for anything on anyones southern region including my own same with my mouth only with my mouth its not so much grossed out at the thought of using my mouth as it just freaks me out and that freak out is towards both males and females anyway now im back to thinking maybe i should be a man idk im so confused and scared i just dont know anymore ive started to read the book this is gay hoping it will give me some insight to help me figure out who i am but so far alls its done is open more questions so im asking how do you know if you should change your sex or if your bisexual or if your just gay/lesbian and just running from the truth because its not socially correct has anyone else gone through this kind of confusion and fear and how did you deal with it how did you figure out that you are who you are its hard to figure out who you are when you dont know how to start when there is no one to talk to about it dont get me wrong my family and friends and friends that are like family they all are supportive and dont care no matter what and will always love me but i need help and i have no one that i can talk to about this that understands every one i know is so incredibly without a doubt straight in my life so i am all alone in this and i just am hoping someone can help me

MsDove(sub female){Eternal Pi} - I don't know if this will help. It's taken me years to figure my sexuality out.

I always assumed I was heterosexual and married a man when I was 23. Divorced three years later (he was abusive). Then I met this woman that I fell head over heels for. We had a short affair. I didn't consider myself bisexual or a lesbian. Since her name was Bonnie, I decided I must just be "Bonnie-sexual". I have been deeply attracted to two other woman and two other men (my 2nd husband for 27 years and my current Dom) in my lifetime. What finally occurred to me is that I fall in love with the person. It doesn't matter to me what sex they are. When there's an emotional and energetic connection, my response is undeniable. I say it doesn't matter how you (or society) describes you. Go with what feels natural to you. That may not be a static thing, it could be fluid. Just be you. There are no "shoulds".

Regarding the use of hands or mouth... I had a friend in a similar situation. You might try to move into touch with yourself. Plan a special night. Take a long bath, use lotions, things that make you feel good. Get really comfortable in bed and begin to touch yourself... caress your face, neck, shoulders softly... take your time... feel the softness of your skin, the sensation on your body. Be with whatever emotions come up. Continue as you are comfortable. Don't push it beyond your enjoyment level. If you want to enter the "southern hemisphere", do. But there's no rush. You are in control of your own enjoyment. Slowly, over time, you will become more and more comfortable with being touched or touching. These are things you can do for yourself.

You are not alone and you certainly are not broken. Others have gone before you. It feels like you are alone because no one speaks of these things. These are very complex emotions. You might consider finding a partner (therapist) to help you sort this out.

My heart is with you on this journey. 💓

2 years ago

bratty little one(sub trans man) - thank you so much you have no idea how much your words have comforted me brought tears to my eyes it wasnt til you said im not broken and no alone that i finally felt ok with who i am ive never been comfortable in my own body much less with myself just knowing that these feelings ive had of fear and confusion my whole life are normal makes me feel less alone and less like a freak

2 years ago

LadySusweca(dom trans woman) - You might want to think about what attracts you to men and what attracts you to women. There are probably some transgender women who are Dommes around you age that may fit into both categories for you

2 years ago

bratty little one(sub trans man) - thank you for that but honestly right now im just trying to figure out who I am I know that im either gay or I want to be a man ive gone back and forth on it for years ive never felt comfortable in my own body the only reason why i ever really stopped saying i might be a man stuck in a woman's body is cuz i enjoyed the miracle of bringing life into this world but now that i cant do that any more the question has popped back into my mind I know that i prefer women it took me 29 years to accept that much about myself and now its just figuring out if for me i was meant to be a man but everything ive read doesnt exactly help me figure that out its kind of an age old question in a sense how do you know your not who you were meant to be? the only reason it took me so long to finally accept that i like girls to boys was cuz when i first got a girlfriend my dad walked in on us kissing and then he threw her out of the house put me in lock down forcing me to read every book he could find that told me that i was just confused im not into girls that just isnt allowed and its not natural its not who you are he even went as far as to try to beat the gay out of me as if he could mind you my parents are divorced and he lived in the uk and my mom lived in the us he refused to let me call my mom wouldnt let me leave the house he locked my bedroom door and only let me out to go to the bathroom and give me my food until i told him "your right dad im just confused" the only way he believed me was for me to go to my best friend who was a guy and tell him i love you will you go out on a date with me through a web chat he said yes and my dad watched the entire time just to make sure i wasnt just faking it before he finally let me go home to my mom and by that time he had won he had engrained it in my head that be gay was not an option being anything but a straight woman who was in to men was not an option the first time i even thought about the fact i might be a man stuck in a woman's body my dad put me in a psych ward telling them i tried to kill myself and even cut my wrists to make it believable so even though i told the institution the truth they didnt believe me it wasnt til 1 year later my dad finally let me out of the institute so as you can see idk what is real and what isnt inside my head anymore and i have no clue on how to figure it out im just happy to finally feel ok enough to finally reach out and ask for help with figuring it out and that i have wonderful people like you and others to help talk me through it and not make me feel like such a freak anymore

2 years ago

bratty little one(sub trans man) - to give everyone an update in the status of me figuring out who I am my ex girlfriend messaged me I guess she read this and decided to message me and keep it personal but she has helped me alot she messaged and asked if i would mind talking to her about everything and so out of i guess only way to put it is desperation i said yes and starting talking to her and she asked me just a very few questions but phrased just right to get my mind thinking about everything and has helped me realize that I am transgender living in fear so much fear that i have been fouling myself and telling myself that there is no way im not the correct gender and the only reason im not happy in my own body is because i just need to learn to love myself because no one else does but she has helped me to realize that if you dont love yourself in your own body no one else will and if you dont feel comfortable in your own body how are you going to love it

2 years ago

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