Are fear and trust mutually exclusive? I don’t believe so. If my Dom asks me if I’m afraid of him, my answer is always. If he asks me separately or in the same sense if I trust him the answer is the same. Always. Why do I fear him? I fear him because if he chose to disregard my safety word he could do me real damage. Emotionally or physically. He pushes my boundaries but so far hasn’t crossed them. That doesn’t mean that he couldn’t if he felt so inclined. That is where the trust comes in. I know that if a safe word is used play is stopped. I have never not used my safety net because of fear of disappointmening him. If it is to much I speak. Will I let him push my boundaries? Of course. Has he ever disregarded my limits? Never. I trust him to keep my well being first. I fear him because I know he could disregard them in an instance and leave me a broken. I trust my Dom. He will stop in a middle of a scene to ask where I am. I fear him in the same instance because after the reassurance that I’m okay he discloses that he wants to hurt me. I tremble in anticipation. I’m a masochist. I freely admit it and when he is cruel I adore it. But in his cruelty he has to ability to hurt me. I trust him but, like the wolf he is, I recognize that he is not tamed and to turn my back on him would be a mistake. I fear him and I trust him and without both I know I would not be as satisfied in our relationship as I am.
