Something i have noticed in the way people speak is when they seperate their vanilla self from their kink self. I find this a strange concept. As i am simply myself. A little dash of this and a little dash of that. I try not to put myself in a box accept to say that i am a submissive because.... well I am lol.
I feel though that by seperating yrself from an element of your life makes your life more difficult than what it needs to be. I feel once you accept that you are simply you. Vanilla you, kink you, the parent, the teacher, the sibling, the lover. Yes there are definitely parts of our kinky lives that the outside world does not understand. And im not talking about shouting from the roof tops your deepest desires. What i am speaking of is the internal struggle we go through when transitioning. I am still deep in this process and i dont pretend to know it all. Infact i know very little. But i feel accepting yourself, all of yourself as a part of who you are makes the process much easier.
We do all live a slight double life (like a superhero lol) some more than others but both elements of your life can mix together and live in unison. Like paying your bills online while naked or in your fav fetish wear or following everyday rules set by your dominant while at work, maybe a sneaky peice of lingerie, butt plug or leather under your clothes. They can coexist and they should. I feel that in fact they need eachother to thrive. Both Kink and Vanilla. One can not live without the other. It is just the balance which shifts and changes.
Accepting who you are, loving all elements of yourself will make life easier.
Sending much thoughtful love
Star
