Lovetoloveseven(switch male)

My self experience

I made a decision to improve my sexual health and understanding as both a Dom and a man by changing my sexual parameters. The goal is can I develop and mature my nature through mental health and strengthening.

4 years ago. August 16, 2020 at 5:33 PM

Today I came to terms with the reality of my future.

It's something I've contemplated for about a year or more. Right now I'm 27 about to leave the military to begin my education back in Texas with a high chance of being successful. I can say this because my confidence and approach to problems are relentless, but in the most strategic long term way that preserves tact and places timing as a priority.

I really began to see what was available for me when I started to realise how few women in my generation are capable of engaging in truthful honest loving relationships. Then as I grew I noticed they as individuals were impeded by the lack of self awareness. This is due to no fault of their own in my eyes.

My main problem in relation to partnership is I know once I've reached my success (age 36-38) is when women are going to start really approaching me and attempting to initiate relationships ,which I get. They would prefer a full man who is stable and has a career with the ability to provide, but their initial spur to interest won't come from who I am but what it is I do or can provide (material benefits over spiritual ones) and I don't want that.

I do want to have children (2) one boy one girl or two boys. I want to be able to travel, live and raise my family in another country, and buy my mother a house cause she raised me with love and is deserving of living her life in peace. I'd prefer to have biological children and am not looking to be a step father.

My solutions to what ales me.

If I have not found someone I want to marry by the time I finish college I'm not going to get married. I'd like my children to grow up in a house hold with strong Masculine and Femanine so I will accept having a partner, but they will have no rights to my children or my property. My children deserve stability in their house so the last thing I want for them is to have to rearrange their lives because of someone that chose themselves over their children.

I will find a surrogate for my first child and adopt for my second one. These decisions only come from a place of what is available to me.

I see many loving successful full women all the time but none quite ready to love themselves so much that they are ready for partnership. I don't think we know how to love ourselves the best way possible. We are good at keeping ourselves alive and preserved, but It takes someone else to love you more then you ever thought possible because no matter how much we love ourselves we will always be capable of loving someone else more.

I'd happily sit and listen to someone capable of sharing why the women of the age group I'm interested in for marriage (25-37) are so resistant to being loved (preferably a women). The most I've come up with is different forms of fear, self confidence, inability to communicate, or disbelief that its even possible.

I'm even interested in hearing people's best guesses cause I'm fully aware there might be something I have not realised or seen that may alter my point of view.

IceGirl(switch female) - I am 35 ello, i will tell you why were not meant for each other since you out yourself out there. I am and have been for awhile studying to be a medical doctor i am not some kept woman i got my hopes dreams aspirations i am a busy woman i aint got time for children.

Hell even if i had children what about my career what about me! So id be the type who wants to send my kids away and not have to deal with there bullshit. Not every female wants babies and a hubbie and a dog.

I want so much more then you have possibly got planned.

4 years ago

MelMell(dom female) - I took a journey of self love a few years back and I can finally say I do truly love myself and I’m perfectly content by myself. I find I don’t need anyone in my life as I meet all the needs I want but I would love someone in my life.
I think nowadays we spend too much time focused on working on ourselves and not on our relationships... I’m probably a bit younger than the age group of women you are looking for an answer but I do have some of your... reservations. While I don’t like kids I do plan to have at least two(being an only child sucks) in my 30’s. By then I’ll be financially independent and will be able to provide a good life for my children and I feel I’d regret it if I don’t have kids. I plan to have my kids through science so I’ll go for artificial insemination. My reasoning is that I don’t want someone fighting for custody with me. They are my children and mine alone. They will not legally have a father just a mother.
You mention women wanting someone more stable... that depends on the woman. Personally I’m the type that will be with someone hardworking that has some things in life figured out but I will also support and push my partner to be more and get better but I know most women don’t think like that. I’m more interested in the emotional aspect than the financial. But of course I don’t want a useless bum without job or prospects in life

4 years ago

IceGirl(switch female) - Your a really interesting person

4 years ago

rosethorn(sub female) - The timing of career or income peek is around the same time many women start to consider children, yes there are ways and options but personally it feels like a choice one or the other. Thing is you need to have the income to raise the kid and many women feel a responsibility that they need to earn the income because if things go down hill relationship wise, you have kids and limited income. Which is a very difficult position to be in. Just my thoughts

4 years ago

Lovetoloveseven(switch male) - I believe you can do both. Building a relationship takes all of the dedication building a career will. So my approach to it all it why don't I build smart.

Part one start early. Turn time from a disadvantage into an advantage. I know that I'm not going to have time to spend day and night with someone and at the end of the day even while we're together were going to end up dating 5, 10, 15 versions of one another. I need someone whose got things going for them as well and knows how to self regulate. I'm playing the smart investment strategy. If I put all of this time in with someone and commit my effort out put does not have to be high and we will still reap the benefits of time invested and knowledge earned with someone.

Part two know when to pull out. I'm in a win win scenario. End of the day we aren't really meant for one another, but what have I gained? I've been able to steadily grow my own life pursuing my career and interests to become the fullest person I can but with the added benefit of being in a relationship that's allowed me to develop and understand my dynamics with a partner. I'm leaving with a net gain in personal wealth and experience. We are able to accept the truth that we are not for one another but had the chance to road test all of the things you'd theorized about in regards to a relationship.

Part three. Pick a path. One side you've left the relationship with a clear understanding of what you want and the experience of knowing what to do with the ups and downs that come with being with someone. You now not only know what partner you are looking for but now have more value in experience to bring into the relationship which is a large benefit to you and plays positively to you in the power dynamics.

The other side you've been there done that and lived in a life with a committed relationship and know now clearly you are not interested in being with someone. You know this for sure cause you did it, had a true experience and fleshed out that it was not for you. Not because you were unable to face your fears or unable to develope the parts of you that are uncomfortable. Example for me I'm at my core traditionally insecure bro that masks his feelings. I intentionally go out of my way now to develop my feelings. I'm not good at it and I'm slow to it but it is important and I am getting better.

We are here to live a full life. If pre planned well and strategically accessing all opportunities while giving yourself enough time (cause no need to rush) you can get a hell of alot done.

You three women have given some valuable inputs so I thank you. Conversing with you satisfies my need for intellectual female interaction. In my life now it is what I am valuing the most.

4 years ago

IceGirl(switch female) - Yeah not gonna lie intellectual women are hot. Just know that so are interesting guys. So many women get put down or abused by men being sweet and kind while affording a safe place to be oneself is not the average male.

Most males see a unicorn amoung women and think man if only i can cut off her horn and make her my bitch that will validate me even more as a man because i tamed the wild woman.

Very few guys say wow shes wild I kinda like that instead of trying to bust her why not win her heart her affection her passion.

That is why even though as i am sure all bi women arecurious of what sex is like with a man i never had pentrative sex with a man and i am 35. I just never found any man that i felt comfortable with being inside me hell the idea itself and how so many women so regularly allow such a violation of such a sensitive area surprises me.

I guess most just let the pleasure take over and dont think about it much yet for me that is absurd my body is a temple why would or should i allow the unworthy to be a part of it.

I also feel more comfortable with women anyway so its just easy to say eh why bother dealing with all this heady stuff and just be more relaxed with someone who gets it without having to explain as much to.

4 years ago

Lovetoloveseven(switch male) - I'd like to first recognize your compliments so thank you.

Your analogy presents a very counter intuitive. The horn is what gives the unicorn it's magic and he must have never ridden a magical unicorn cause let me tell you it's a whole new world. It takes confidence to encourage the unicorn to thrive and the security in one's self that because they are grand you are still worthy of them.

I believe women are slightly fickle by nature but because you have the ability to sense and feel on a level that is invisible to men. If things don't seem right you'll know immediately.

What I have noticed though unfortunately some women are abandoning this sense in place of developing a more traditionally male way to approach the world.

True Femanine is increasingly scarce in the world and I am unsure of what the future holds. Maybe the age of aquarius holds something interesting for us.

4 years ago

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Lovetoloveseven​(switch male)

My self experience

Lovetoloveseven(switch male)