I no longer see the world plainly.
At most times it leaves me not understanding the world because I feel like I'm existing in and understand adjacent to most.
These patterns of thought I believe is what is needed in order to add to the diversity in the world in the hope by providing diversity there will be more sustainability.
It at times makes me fearful and alone to (from my perspective) feeling as if I live on a peninsula attached by a small narrow stretch of land and in high tides am cut off. Leaving me on an island but not stranded but isolated.
These tides have in the beginning brought with them despair and heart ache but now deliver peace and freedom. If a naked man walks on his island with no one around is he naked?
My island is a spaceship that drifts in the deep cosmos crossing paths with unworldly things not familiar to eyes of the earth. There I explore what I do not understand in many forms. Some to solve, many to ponder and the few to dance with. To not know at all but the be beside is motion.
We may one day instead of existing as continents exist as many peninsulas. Capable of connectivity and production at an efficiency and effectiveness so proper leaps and bounds will be the pace of our trajectory. To one day stumble upon a way of living that is soulful, for man is not machine.
My expression on time is a fleeting one not permanent but I do in a way feel compelled to take a stand that may contribute to the greater good. It is often the indirect action that is the most profound one. So possibly living my answer to the purpose to life ( to just live) is the path.
For now I study myself not for understanding but to come to terms with my existance in a way that may allow me to avoid the cliche. For I view the novel as nessessary for learning and sustainability but a bandaid solution. Patching a ship being torn by the entropy of existing will fail. Is there a way to build a newer better one while not drowning?
I see my soul as a new born child who knows where home is but unable to walk there without assistance. It cannot speak directions and cannot point on a 2d plane to direct others. I may say it is like being a baby lost is a 4 dimensional maze at sight but the further into it you go the more lost you become for there is no end.
The maze is filled with all of the parts needed to leave it but the unwise will want to understand the entirety of it as a means of escape. But the less of it you know the less it can blind you to the point where it will disappear and find you were standing at the end the whole time.
Life in all of its suffering and elation is an extacy for the body. And I am an admitted user. I have been trained to preserve and care for it since I could learn. With logic a better vessel does better house its contents. I do ponder what my soul becomes next after my body is returned.
For now I will walked naked and unseen on my island bending to the desires of my body and balancing the masochistic satisfactions it has while conducting the proper aftercare. A relationship this community is versed in lol.
I enjoy a thought outside of my own. Like chocolate for the brain. So leave something in the comments.
