When you Mess up Fess up!
Just last night my GF called me and after some banter I kinda just bitched about my day for 20+ mintues and didn't give her time to talk about her day.
I didn't notice the time or that she had to go soon but it did make me realize she is correct I need to do better to make her feel heard as well.
Many people with ADHD have time blindness here is how it is described.
Time blindness, a common symptom in ADHD, refers to difficulties perceiving and managing time, impacting how individuals estimate, track, and use their time. This can manifest as underestimating or overestimating how long a task will take, difficulty creating and adhering to schedules, and losing track of time, especially during hyperfocus.
This is not an excuse nor a defense this is the reason the problem happened.
So my proposed solutions-
One we always start conversations with her news or information first since she is better about going through things she wants to talk about
Set a timer on how long I can talk about a topic that when it goes off the topic must switch by
Call my attention to the fact I have become locked in a subject because I truthfuly don't notice.
An issue I feel between me and her is she understands and misreads some of my atypical behaviors through other lenses.
But she isn't as familure with ADHD and I am so profoundly ADHD I dont just have a script for adderall (amphetamine) which is a controlled substance because some people abuse it for the wrong reasons. But I also have disablity accommodations at uinversity.
I have had a therapist recently tell me I have one of the most profound cases of ADHD she has ever sceen.
Infact on this very day about 12 hours ago one of my patients told me she wishes I would stop being a maniac and just shut the hell up and be a normal person for gods sake.
Note this was me on my medication. When I am off my medication I can be damn near cartoonish.
Most people love my high energy yet its not for everyone and yes when it pisses off a patient or my girlfriend I have to be more considerate in coming up with systems to better guide the behavior.
The key aspect of discussion around this is to honestly reflect and express that-
A I never intend to be a jerk about my behavior
B This is because of my own neurodivergent matrix and totally unintended
C I am willing to come up with systems to make it better for people but I also need people to remind me of said systems
D knowing why something is happening doesn't mean we can't work to improve it.
I often blog about events good and bad, or ways I am great. This is a short coming because my ADHD is a double edge sword while the high energy enthuisam and deeply intense hyper focus are good aspects.
It isn't without downsides. I have lost many friends over the years because they didnt want to be friends with someone with my diffrences. We are all unique but the ways in which I am unique at times can just piss people off to a breaking point.
My grandmother sometimes when I would just talk and talk and talk would just randomly without warning just slap me across the face and say sorry I just couldn't take hearing another word from you at this moment.
Note this was someone I had a better relationship with overall. So this isn't a new problem people see in my behavior the question is can intentional choices be made to better handle the negative aspects.