It's possible to enjoy penetration?
A combination of hang ups - rasied catholic, sexually abused, am intersex with XY chromosomes all made me uncomfortable having a vagina.
On multiple occasions I attempted to have doctors remove my vagina and uterus thinking - what's the point anyway?
Note doctors didn't take kindly to this request.
Lately, my GF and I have been working on physical intimacy since my challenges have been a source of tension in our relationship.
For the last couple of weeks, we had been more sexual than in the previous 6 months. A couple of times, this resulted in her using a strap-on.
What surprised me most was how quickly the feeling could go from discomfort and tension to genuinely pleasurable.
I know anatomicaly vaginas can expand when aroused and having sex but feeling the diffrence in my body was shocking.
There are days when I wish I had never had to acknowledge my body behaves in a cis fashion.
Yet what have I gotten from denial or self-loathing?
I am a feminist, yet I am often disgusted by my own body behaving in a typical female manner.
I admire people who radically accept themselves without judgment.
I am working on that for myself. I spent too many years feeling like a freak for having a female body.
It really shouldn't matter that our society has created a false narrative that XY equals male.
There is no binary, intersex people like myself shatter that myth often from before birth.
Multiple intersex conditions make people different. I am one such case.
Also, why do so many people and medical professionals often make me feel diseased for having a natural occurrence happen?
50% of the population is female? So what if my female body happened due to a 1 in 270,000 occurrence? Wanna line up the nearly million people like me around the world and kill us?
I have a female body due to a rare mutation. Does that mean I should hate myself forever for existing?
I'm alive and healthy in a female body, why can't that be enough without drama?
Do these people secretly believe that being a female is a terminal illness or something?
If I never mentioned that I am intersex, people wouldn't even know. So what would they pity me the same way if I was born with XX chromosomes?
I choose to speak out as intersex because the stigma that made me hate myself needs to end.
Everyone has mutations—light-colored or red hair mutation, blue or green eyes mutation, taller or shorter than most of your family mutation, supertaster mutation, color-blind mutation, double-jointed mutation, and we can go on about common mutations that people encounter every day that aren't taboo.
Yet since mine made me female bodied, I have to spend my entire life ashamed I'm not male bodied - Like I "should" have been.
I am tired of the internal self-loathing and feeling less than for having a female body.