I saw these on someones blog and had to respond if it touched you in someway leave a comment.
Take a long hard deep brutally honest look into yourself... Specifically your wants, needs, desires and fantasies. And be brutally honest.
I tend to always be honest, but often I don't share my Truth.
Embrace what you found out. Even those deep dark fantasies.
None of my fantasies are that dark to the general public, or this community yet some are much for me I will explain soon in the last part
Probably the hardest... communicate your wants needs desires and fantasies.
My most common fantasy is the thing I deprived myself the most to be with a male, or extremely dom female and have them border line break me.
I have domed so many women over the years, and as such have seen from the other side the mix of pleasure pain and total contentment.
Collars with a leash-- being dragged around and forced to eat the master or mistress out for being naughty. Doing a poor job because I'm too excited, getting hand cuffed, chained or tied in a vunerable postion as I am whipped beaten bit scratched slapped then teased and edged to tears.
Then when I think that sex is finally gonna come my way, No! leave me in a state of total duress and need, make me beg like my body has begged me for years to swallow my pride, and experience the other side in true submissive fashion.
Then do some freaky thing you like that pushes me, I don't care choke me, pull my hair, slap my face with your cock or dildo, plug my ass, things that normally would make me kinda angry you'd even think of doing-- but in this moment when I'm in full submission i6ts part of accepting the process that ego isn't what it's about but service passion, and receveing intense love attention from you.
Then after that you better fuck me till I cant walk! 😇
If you lack the decency to brake my pussy a bit, then don't bother. I fucked myself in a shower with a suction cup dildo before till my feet gave out. My own body fluids mixed with the shower water slowly ran down my face. If a god damn 14 dollar dildo brings more joy then you I'm not interested in some dollar store dom.
Show me what it feels like to be raveged to the point I barely recognize myself in the mirror. I will wait for the one who's got what it takes to tame this lioness, if even for one night.
If you don't you will always be left unfulfilled...unsatisfied and left wanting.
This is what I expect, that it will never be fulfilled since I barely have the courage to interact with people and say what I want. Since I been back posting for the last two months zero people have seen me in real life-- so yeah not hopeful. Additionally as for people I know who are interested in me that how do I even say I'm so god damned wild about sex?
They see this sweet nerdy almost saint.
I am a post bac pre med, i work as an EMT I volunteer to tutor underprivileged kids I assist search and rescue and go on missions to save people. I am the first person many of my friends turn to when they need a hand, and they have seen me in the past totally take women and make them my bitches.
So how do I show anyone the otherside of me? This side that is in dire need.
Could anyone at all ever see or appreciate one of the real reasons I am so good at doming/ topping is that beneath my eyes in my soul I have at one time or another had all these fantasies for myself and more I dare not speak.
I have lived vicariously through the persons I have been with and getting some reflected joy.
Even admitting this at all I feel my eyes welling up to expose such sensitive matters. I think it will never happen, but secretly want for a hero to set me free from the past and open me up to new horizons and possiblities-- to finally be completed.
I can't just top anymore it's why I haven't even been with anyone for a few years. I need my sub desires filled so I can once again top without contempt in my heart or resentment for others having that which I have craved and flaunting it in front of me.