Ice Girl's public thoughts.

I was forced to go to med school 😥

People who have congratulated me for getting into medical school. I want to share how for me this is actually bittersweet.

I am not doing this because it is my personal love but I think needed for the queer community especially those most at risk trans and Intersex people.

When I was younger I was selected into a special program for performing arts in my highschool called PAVE. It was an arts highschool within the highschool you could opt into if you had the talent and passed an audition.

I would go to class early everyday before the school opened, stay late and train in the arts along with my other studies. I placed as one of the best bass youth players in NYSSMA.

The New York State School Music Association (NYSSMA) it held competitions for state orchestra n such.

I ended up playing Bass in Carnegie Hall Lincoln center and other venues in my teens.

Performed along side by side with peers going to juliard in fact one of the reasons I was so good is one of my friends became a pro musician with multiple albums currently.

He would often help me with my technique since we were in the same program and if I could learn the complicated Bass parts he could play piano which he preferred. So it was a win win. (Miss you drew.)

Even though I was offered spots in musical conservatory after highschool health issues related to my Intersex condition made it so I wasn't well and couldn't continue with my education at the time.

Then it happened I fell down the stairs and thought I broke my wrist went to the ER for treatment and thinking nothing of it I mentioned I am Intersex when filling out the initial paperwork.

I had multiple doctors inspect my vagina and tell me it's fine and they completely overlooked my wrist when I was begging them to help me since my wrist was in excruciating pain.

It is this and other issues that has caused me to have massive issues with pelvic exams to this day. Infact I have refused to do them for almost 4 years now or see a gynecologist at all. The trauma has made me uncomfortable with medical professionals around my private bits.

People especially other people with traditionally female bits have been trying to talk sense into me on this yet I have maintained that I honestly don't care if an unknown tumor or other issue develops and kills me - so be it. (Medical phobia is real especially from people abused by doctors)

I never felt so violated then that day in my life since I had trusted medical professionals until that moment.

I swore I would never be in that situation again and felt the only way I could protect myself was by being a medical professional so I could talk to them as a peer and direct my care to a degree.

So my original dreams, joys, natural talent, and interest got overwhelmed by me deciding that I had to take my intellect and force it to become an advanced healthcare provider.

My goal is to treat LGBTIQ+ people appropriately especially trans and Intersex people that have special needs and sensitivities and advocate for things to change by talking about how the system let me down and make recommendations on how it can improve.

This desire only got heightened when many of my trans and intersex friends shared there horror stories over the years at the hand of idiotic medical personnel.

But soon oh so soon I can be a licensed provider that will protect vulnerable people like me.

This whole thing is the result of an injustice done to me. A pivotal moment that just pissed me off enough to do something the Hell about it.

I can't wait till my schooling is over and I can find the time to go back to playing music for fun I miss having a performance bass.

The manufacturer I had make mine was upton bass in CT and they still have models going for only about 12,000. Maybe one day I will get to perform again. 🎶👩‍🎤

Bassist for life!