Fake Doms and vetting

It gets easier every time you walk away or push me away. You can survive a broken heart but it still leaves scars, just not ones that can be seen.

I won't lie it still hurts like hell, but it is easier. Saw this coming when I saw the sub put your name down as belonging to you.

I don't blame you and I don't blame myself. We both just want different things. The heart wants what and who it wants. We just have to redirect it.

I seem to not be enough for anyone, so maybe it's time to put away the dreams and stop reaching for love. 

I don't want to be part of a group. I want to be the one and only.

When we first started our relationship I gave you everything. We were good together, i mistakenly thought we were a couple and would be together. You the Dom, me the sub. Unfortunately I could never be enough for you, I know of two others but there were probably more. I'm sure you felt me pulling away and not contact you as much. I tried to protect my heart but it didn't work, you managed to tear it apart but then again I let you. There is a very big hole in my heart and it will never be filled. I don't trust like I used to. I miss you but I understand this is for the best. 

I have had to many of these....

When I think of you I think of things that will never be. Like your hand holding my hands above my head, your other hand around my throat your mouth close to my earas you whisper you belong to me don't you and you always will. The shiver that runs down my spine until I realize it will never be.

Things like this run through my mind.

I think of your handsome my body lightly touching then caressing the touch becoming harder, pulling at my flesh, grabbing, pinching and an occasional slap or nibble. I think of the bruises your hands would leave on my body and it thrills me. It will never be.

 I think of you tying to the bed. Unable to move as you use me as you wish, maybe a crop or a flogger. Leaving your marks on my body. But this will never be.

I think of you between my legs look down and see your eyes looking up at me. You send me over the edge. I think of the bruises you leave on my thighs either from your bites or your fingers pulling my tightly closed thighs apart.  I know this will never be.

I think of you plunging your cock into me hard and deep. Riding the edge of pleasure and pain. I know it will never be.

This is what I think about. We know it will never be.

I think about belonging to you and you alone and you belonging to me and me alone, no need for either of us to have others. I know it will never be.

Yes i crave you but we both know it is only temporary and will never be.

It's  sad that it will never be.

Do you remember your first time? I think that is something that is seared in our minds.

I was 15 and he was my stepfather. I was home alone, it was 7ish and a school night so I decided to shower and work on my homework. I was just walking out of the bathroom and my stepfather came out of his room grabbed me and pushed me into my room. All I had on was a towel and he tore it off me as he pushed me onto my bed. He held me down with one hand on my throat as he unbuckled his pants and pushed them down. He crawled onto the bed and started kissing me then he moved to my breasts where he spent a lot of time sucking and biting he slowly moved down to my pussy where he took his time. When he was satisfied he got between my legs and shoved his cock in as hard as he could. He fucked me for what felt like forever. He finished cleaned up and went to get my mother from work. This was my life for years if he caught me alone.

Please feel free to add to this story. Would love to see where it goes.

The hot almost to hot shower then being dried off. Very intimate and exciting. The table has a dark red table cloth it almost touches the floor. I am laid out on this table there is a bowl of fresh whip cream between my legs up against my pussy. They start laying fresh fruit and nuts on my stomach up to my breasts then cheese on my breasts and chest. Thy have laid napkins down my legs and different sauces chocolate etc. The blindfold on eyes. I can't see but I can feel their hands on my body, some linger some softly stroke all send tingles to my core. I feel the wetness growing.The sensations are intensified because I don't know who is touching me. Someone traces my lips with a strawberry dipped in whipped cream. Then they allow me to taste the sweet strawberry. I jolt when I feel a finger slip between my pussy lips and gently glide up and down the slit. I feel myself growing wetter. I am afraid if they continue I may orgasm as they keep slipping over my clit. I know I will orgasm many times tonight and I will have a few cocks drained down my throat. Maybe someone will sit on my face and teach me how to pleasure her. I feel the war almost hot chocolate poured over my nipples, breasts down my body and on my clit. I feel moths lapping and biting all along the chocolate trail, I feel the orgasm building. I don't know if i can take another bite then i feel the hot breath on my clit and the slow lap to clean away the chocolate the i feel the teeth as they bite down on my clit and i explode.I actually woke up wet after this.....

It amazes me how fast and exciting it is when you first start talking to someone. After a few conversations you can feel if it will be friends zone or I really want to try for a relationship.  I love the feelings the excitement the possibilities.  You talk and plan. We need to meet to see if these feelings translate to in person wants. We plan a possible future, travel, time with my family time with his. You start to get a feeling something has changed. You wonder, he spends a lot i mean a lot of time with the ex could that be it? You have teased him about her being his good service sub....then he spends the weekend with his buddy, he was to let you know he made but apparently in the 15 minutes it took him to arrive he got to exhausted and fell asleep. Then in your first conversation in several days he drops it. A friend passed away, I know we talked about traveling and splitting time between families but I can't do that. I want to stay here. The end. Wow. Yes, it hurt. Yes it made me mad. Will we be friends no clue, I think it is still to fresh. It has changed how i will talk to men in the future. No sense in trying to hard. Lesson learned.

Battery operated boyfriends or rechargeable are better than men....prove me wrong.

This is an open question. I have talked to a few men and a couple women and I swear most of them tell you one thing have something on their profile and then turn out to be the complete opposite.  Don't tell me you want to get to know me and chat with me several times a day and have some sexting then ask about a relationship and all of a sudden it is like pulling teeth trying to chat with you. 

Just say I'm not interested or I just want to be friends.  Easy as hell. Don't make someone feel like crap because your not as interested as you said.

It makes it so hard to believe anyone. .

Good luck out there. Put hip boots on while wadding through the crap.