Thoughts feelings and god knows what else

Music what can i say its something everyone understands its like a  universal language in which words aren't needed to understand.

To everyone music means something different and it can be a pretty individual thing but on the flip side its also something that can unite us all which in itself is a beautiful thing. To me music is my comfort my way to cope and survive this world especially when i feel so alone in my daily life but it also helps me understand what i feel sometimes to but it got me thinking what is music to all you other beautiful souls here on the cage i would love to know what  music to you? 

I can literally almost predict this now one little thing happens and boom I am not in this moment but I am back to when this all started painfully remembering every last detail and I become that scared little child lost in the dark then I am snapped back to the current events still like a child lost in the dark trying to find a way to stop this happening trying desperately to fix what's wrong screaming begging and pleading for help hoping help will come sadly it never does wondering if this is it will I lose you this time or will you survive wondering do I have enough strength for us both wondering do you have enough strength to fight for yourself eventually maybe a week will pass  you have survived this time then the game of guessing begins again its like life is stuck on tape and someone controls the remote thinking this looks like hell lets play for a while then stop and rewind to the hellish parts just for fun. When does the torture stop I really do wonder if it ever will 

So lately I have been stuck in alot of aspects of life I try so hard I give all I have and I feel sometimes it's just not enough I can run myself down to the ground trying to keep up with everything but it's not enough doctor says this family say that friends are supportive but life says no matter how much you try it will never be enough I can't keep everyone happy anymore am run down from all this I can't keep up everytime I get somewhere the floor is ripped out from under me it's time I realised everything is falling apart its time to shout jenga!!!! 

The day has come it's Christmas time it's time for fun it's time for love and happiness and a time for family to come together it's Christmas day a day for old traditions and new and a day to toast our friends and family welcome New friends and family and to toast to friends and family no longer with us remember no matter how far apart we are from friends and family the love and care we share still remains so to everyone here I wish you all a very merry Christmas hope you all have a wonderful day 

I have been burned before so many times I have been hurt so now I just expect it to happen I automatically assume the worst its got to the stage where I feel any minute now somethings gonna happen I am gonna get hurt so I realised I have been pushing people away and press the self destruct button I feel that if I push people away that I save myself alot of pain I didn't realise that I am the one now causing pain and for that I am truly sorry I am trying so hard to fix this and believe me it isn't easy I don't mean to cause any pain I don't mean to push people away either but it happens without me realising it anyway enough ramblings what I am saying is sorry for any pain caused to my friends I don't expect you to forgive me but please know I am sorry 

No matter what I won't give up I will keep on fighting for everything I believe is important I won't give up it doesn't matter how many times people tell me to stop fighting but I won't listen I can't give up I won't give up I don't care if it kills me I won't give up even when other people all ready have given up I won't I don't care anymore I am not afraid anymore to stand apart from the crowd I am who I am take it or leave it just know when something is important never give up stand up,stand tall,stand proud and never give up its hard I know but when it is something important it's worth the fight believe me 

So I came on here today to chat with a friend and I received a message from a dom saying I'm a Dom 29M...I can be your master! Agree on being my personal slut?

My answer again is simply no chance in hell I don't want another dom I am happy with my dom and don't wish to have a desperate sleeze bag who is so desperate to have a sub that they try that desperate attempt at finding one and can't be bothered to read my profile and see I am already with a dom needles to say it may seem cruel but to that man that messaged me get a life seriously 

Has it actually happened recently I feel like I have lost myself completely I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore  I was always so sure I knew who I was but now not so much has anyone here ever experienced the same thing if so how do you cope with it does anyone know or do I really sound like a out of their depth 20 year old who is possibly just having a blonde moment 

Days can be cruel they can also be kind one thing I have learnt it's not what happens who makes you who you are it's what you do when something happens that's makes you when the days are cruel and tough and you feel there is no point in going on please remember that although things are tough you can pick yourself up and brush yourself off what's got me through the tough times is I know my story of life is what I make of it I choose my own path and learn from my mistakes and come back stronger I write my story of life and i decide it isnt over yet please don't forget there is a light at the end of the tunnel I know it's not always easy to find it but don't give up please talk to trusted friends and family if it helps don't shut them out and stay strong even when it's hard 

Waking up in the morning wondering what will happen going about your day trying to do everything  that needs done thinking about things as you go along then you hear a sound or see something  and suddenly it reminds you of something that something reminds you of a time of pleasure of the feeling of that sweet bliss you can reach when your allowed to orgasm and it tightens  something deep inside of you you feel that sheer need to find that release you crave it and your breathing  changes and the need increases  you get to the point where your ready to beg and plead to be allowed that relief  finally your granted permission  and boom the need is finally  satisfied  everything feels so good you feel so relaxed the point is av learnt that this is purely  amazing av learned so much but yes I am still learning but the more I learn the more I try the more this happens  I used to feel so uncomfortable  with it all but now I know this is a good thing not bad and it isn't wrong my past might have broken me a bit but bit by bit I am fixing things learning the more I talk to people and learn from them the better I am getting at fixing myself and I can't thank everyone  enough so thank you so very much I can't tell you how much I appreciate  the help