So, the last few weeks has been educational for me, and has shown me that there is a huge difference in being in any kind of BDSM dynamic, and being in an abusive relationship. Please, correct me if I am off on my understanding of the differences.
As I understand it, the biggest difference between the two, is in the intention of the one that is given the power, and how that power is obtained. In a BDSM relationship power is given willingly from the start of the relationship by the submissive, and is designed for the exploration, liberation, fulfillment of the desires of both partners. The submissive goes into the relationship with full knowledge and acceptance of their place and what is expected of them in the relationship willingly. It should be a safe environment for the submissive. Yes, I do understand that there are dynamics where the control is not given at first, even that, is still agreed upon by both the D and the S at the start.
In an abusive relationship, the power is taken, not given (if not at the beginning, then at some point in the relationship). It is about the power that the one who has it can wield over the other, without thought for the other's feelings, or well being. It is about the gratification that the one with the power gets. The submissive in an abusive relationship often times is forced to accept their place in the relationship, by manipulation, or force.
I still have a lot to learn about the BDSM community, and I am excited to learn, and experience it.
