Just me

As night falls and darkness surrounds me i feel his arms wrap around me, in a way hiding me from the dark. In his touch there is a calm. My body relaxes and the fears that live inside me slowly creep away. Sleep may come but i know sleep with him will be a safe one. He gives me the freedom to be quiet. He is the last person i talk to and the first. He ends my day and starts the next. I never thought i could feel that i belonged to someone, or that i would even want to. Without seeing it happen i have done just that, I belong to him.
As a sub we are suppose to submit but i think there is more to it. Yes we make the choice but do we really. I think in this life the mind figures out long before the heart what it wants. That is where the conflict comes into play. In my normal life my heart was so broken and mashed that i swore id never find another. I thought i could do this and keep emotions out of it. Boy was i wrong. My brain knew what it wanted. It wanted that one person to challenge me, make me try harder and see myself. It wanted to be blank instead of chaos and it knew what it needed to do that. It needed a man, to tame the thoughts, to push the dark hidden corners. It needed him. When my heart finally decided that it was done throwing a fit and my brain saw it peeking in it quickly grabbed it and pulled it into the game. Now dont get me wrong i still am very very cautious of my heart. Once my heart is all in this poor man will forever own me.
I just finished a book at his request and there is part where she questions how she feels and how she could feel that way for her master. I get it. Now that my heart is catching up to my brain i question myself too. How can i give so freely to this man, he hasnt become part of me its the other way around ive become part of him. I am for him. Only him. I am here to please him. In doing this i give me all of me, broken heart included.
I always asked in giving your mind body and soul doesn't that include your heart? Well id have to say yes, in order to serve you have to love whom you serve. When you love it pushes you to be the best you can be for them.

I sit here every night trying to figure out who i am, who im meant to be. Not an easy thing to do when your mind is in constant chaos. There was a day not to long ago when i had no clue. I was a shy quiet person who couldn't express myself. Id watch, read and try to learn all i could. I found some great people along the way that helped me see a few things. This is just what i see now and how ive grown.
I use to sit alone thinking that things i wanted were wrong. They were in some ways sinful according to society. Society the greatest mind f*** of all. I stumbled across this site and learned so much. So many have simalr stories to mine. I sat quietly and watched soaked in all i could until oneday someone noticed. He kept saying hello until i responded, from there it opened a flood gate. I was challenged by another to reach inside write a story and see where my head was, another showed me that there are many different types of doms and what i should want and expect. I meat a friend in the real world who helped guide me even if she doesnt know she really did. Somewhere in all that crazy there was someone i was talking with who slowly pulled me in. My dark sins became a normal, they are acceptable with him. He connected with me and continues to do so. He has taught me sinful is only what we make it. If we let our minds get the best of us then we revert back to where we were. He gives me the safe place i need to grow. He protects me from my own doubts and demons. He has very quickly become a part of me. So to those of you that have touched me and guided me along the way thank you, to you chris i will never be able to thank you enough for finding me and showing me that my dark sins are just the light at the end of a long tunnel that has finally come to an end. 

I am his
He saw me in a corner and stuck out a hand, he guided me into the light in this dark world. He helped me to open a part of me that has been locked away. When she stepped out of the shadows I didnt know her she is beauty, strength, courage, elegance, and pride. She stood tall and didn't hang her head, she doesn't believe anything anyone negatively says about her. When I told him who I saw he said she is you and she is what I see in you.
I am slowly starting to see the resemblance, starting to merge the two together.
He opend my eyes when they were closed,
He gave me a hand when I was weak,
He stands beside me when another tries to put me down.
He is the strength I need to survive
He is the courage I need when I want to be small,
He encourages, pushes me when im scared and knows when enough is enough
Without asking he is my Sir, he doesnt force himself. I give myself freely and without hesitation
I know he has my back and I have his, why you ask because he is "mine"