Pheonix J(sub female)

Just me

My journey is a road I travel most of the time with friends by my side. Some days I walk alone, others I hold someone's hand. This is my journey on cage. If you really want to know about me go back 2 years ago to my first blog. Enjoy

Another day gone

5 years ago. August 17, 2019 at 2:39 AM

I've been thinking the past few days about blogging but wasnt sure what to write about so today may very well be a mash up of everything.

So first off my brain wont stop. I'm in that over thinking everything mode. When I get like this I get scattered in my thoughts because there is so much to take care of and everything has to have a plan. Needless to say I dont get a lot accomplished because I cant figure out whats more important.

So today driving home in yet another rental car because mines back in the shop I was listening to music and realized most of my play list is about letting go or wishing he was a better man. Issue with this is I cant change anyone. They are who they are and wont change for anyone. So as I skipped all kinds of songs I landed on human... yep that's me human. I can only take so much before I break.

Then i got home read some blogs and one about loners stuck out to me. Again that's me I dont want a lot of people around me because I dont need the drama, i give my all to those i trust and will fight beside them always. Anyway now I've realized I'm a loner. So yep I'm a human and a loner.

There really is a point to this I swear. The point I have is I am a very busy person like most. I get lost in my own head and need that person to ground me center me or just make me not think. I dont need the drama of hearing how I dont have time for people, or I dont give my all. Or that I hold on to my past. I need someone to slay the damn demons in my head and that person has to be real. It cant be a what if or someday I need reality. I dont want an on line thing. I dont want another fake person in my life. I want real!

This site has helped me grow yes, I've met some amazing people and hurt some as well but until I can find who's for me I wont give up and I wont settle. The one for me wont be so about them that they miss me falling apart. We will know eachother and pick eachother up. They will know me well enough to see when I'm like this I just need to be grabbed pulled into them and told it's time shut it off and let it go. Which will be easy because they will be my safe place.

Sorry just venting

ulfhednar - Hope this works funny how this shit works litterally herd this and was like i need to post this and litterallly just read the blog was like pew pew pew mind is sploded

5 years ago

ulfhednar - Its fivefold just close your eyes anyways hope it helps

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Thats a good song!

5 years ago

Scooby Alpha(dom male){bratlitpri} - Pros and cons to being a loner. Most of them Pros in my book, but then again, I'm biased.

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - I enjoyed reading it. I was me in a lot of aspects and never thought that was a loner. Tha is for the post.

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Jesus I cant text... never thought i was a loner and thanks for the post.

5 years ago

ulfhednar - Sounds like its been a sundae delux toppings kind of week 🤔

5 years ago

Scooby Alpha(dom male){bratlitpri} - A lot of people don't.

5 years ago

ulfhednar - 😁

5 years ago

sexycurves(sub female) - that's almost me! I know exactly what you mean. I'm the same, I want the real thing - not some online thing

5 years ago

ulfhednar - Yeah alot of people do sadly enough though because of eharmony and the wonderful world of pyschology nice giys are thinking theres some sort of secret alpha gene pool the oppisite gender looks at for in a mate theres tons of falsely written crap on the alpha male being better looking and blah blah blah its a load of fucking bullshit ive noticed it just boils down to smoke and mirrors every guy and gal puts on a dance to attract a mate its a chemical reaction that we dont even realize is happening because our sibconcious is picking it up the whole alpha thing is false jas absolutly nothing to do with we just go after whats visually appealing to make us and our lives seem that much more better and makes us feel more secure which guess what winds up ina fucking train wreck so its our own damn fault for trusting our eyes and not our hearts amd the algorythm put together by someone else doing research based on a fucking dating pool science which has lead humanity down to this road i love the cage love the friends im making but i just felt i needed to say this to clearify because ive seeing this on alot of profiles i dont want online i want real well ok youve stated what you want cool we all know your priorties so when you meet someone in rl as you get to know them and time goes on bring those priorities up to them they either accept them or they bail if they bail well then dont run off amd get a thing of icecream and waste a single sad sigh over the horse cock munching anal molesting butt monkey move on find someone better
Hugs

5 years ago

Pheonix J(sub female) - Expressive today?? Lol I agree the problem is getting to the real life. I am so shy face to face and I miss a lot of cues because I hear that evil voice in my head saying they arenr flirting with you.. thank you ex for giving me great self esteem. Any way just me and I will get there

5 years ago

ulfhednar - Darling im always expressive just usually more timid about it 😂😂😂 amd if someone camt love you for your awesome fucked up baggage then fuck em come cuddle with me we can order take out amd watch movies amd veg for a weekend 😁

5 years ago

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Pheonix J​(sub female)

Just me

Another day gone

Pheonix J(sub female)